I think Jerry Springer knows my neighbors.

This post is going to have plenty of fowl language and bold text. Reader discretion is advised.

The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the stupid.

Dialogue is taken verbatim.

So picking up from my last blog, I never got my Indiana Government approved mop and bucket. My neighbors are still on the waiting list for theirs, and may not receive any until the end of May. My house is now much drier, but my mom discovered cracks in the foundation. I'm no house inspector, but I'm pretty sure that's a bad thing. Ah well, at least it's a bright and sunny day, and the weather is really nice, so really, what more can I ask for?

.... How about new neighbors? Yeah that would be rad.

Behind my house is an alley, where the entire cast of Jerry Springer circa 1998 lives. Which is funny, since I legit live four blocks down from a couple that really were on an episode of Jerry Springer. This was back when Jerry took cameras to peoples' houses, and there is an episode where he showed up, and his crew videotaped a brawl between two sisters fighting over the man they loved... who was also their cousin. It's both sad and thrilling to say "My neighbors were on Jerry Springer" and it's so true too.

Behind my house are three houses, crammed together really closely. Chain-link fences, yards full of old garbage, half empty pools, dilapidated garages, and each one is owned by a half dressed couple with about 3-5 children, under the age of 8. And each child has pockets full of little fireworks, cherry bombs, snappers, and the ring leader has a Budweiser bottle, lovingly strapped to his bike by dear old Daddy. I shit you not.

These are the people who've been getting drunk on and around my property the last few years I've lived here, and have some pretty mean dogs.

Now granted, these beasts are not as dangerous as Maria's Hell Beasts, but this is the third chain-link fence the neighbors have needed in two years. I was outside the day one of the dogs bent a fence almost completely open, as he was barking at me.

Generally, I adore dogs of all breeds ...It's just badly trained dogs and their dumbshit owners I can't stand.

So today I get up to take the trash out. But maybe I should have seen a mirror before I did that?

I was still in my pajamas, my hair was a wreck, and because the ground is still damp, I walked out in pink with blue polka-dotted galoshes. All I was missing was a pair of goggles and a fanny pack, and my Crazy Nut Freak costume would have been complete. Considering where this story is going, I can't decide if my Saturday Morning Cartoons attire works to my benefit or not.

So I head outside, feeling purdy an like I looks guuuud, and I put the trash into the trash bin. A novel concept really. Keeping trash inside of a trash can, it's a shame not many people here believe in not polluting.

Suddenly, the three dogs all zip out, bending the fences and barking like mad. And let me say that there's nothing quite like an early morning heart attack to start the day right. The tallest of the dogs at four feet in length, starts using his paws to leverage himself up, and he almost succeeds in climbing the damn fence for the second time since it was installed.

I don't know. Maybe fear brings out the worst in me. Fear and stress. Usually I either race back inside the house or I try using a few dog calls I learned in Kindergarten. Things like "sit" and "nice doggie" but instead of my usual polite fear, I took a deep breath, and released a very loud and commanding.....

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

All three dogs went "Yipe!!" and ran straight to their equally frightened owners.

With that I slammed the gate shut, erroneously thinking that this mess was done for today. When suddenly a group of kids start poking the fence, with one being so brave as to try and jump it.

"HEY!! I can see yew. I heard yew scream shut the fack up. It's not funny."

I don't know why they do this, but my neighbors and their kids speak with a very fake Virginia-New Jersey accent. It's probably the most annoying, self-racist, fake accent a person of Caucasian descent could have. What bothers me the most is that the entire lot of them were born and raised in Illinois and Indiana, and have boasted openly before about never even having traveled as far as (and I quote) "the far away country of Minnesota" so where did these accents come from??

Worse? You can hear them trying to have a "Chi-KAH-go" accent underneath. Want to see someone have a jaw workout? Ask them to say "milk". The fake Jerseyginia accent fights with the "Kahgo" one, producing the word "Mwaaaaaaaaahlk", it's rather hilarious to see them make a fool of themselves with dairy product.

Whatever. I see the kids poking and hanging on my fence.

So I storm over to the fence and rip the door open. "What you say to me BOY??"

The children hop onto scooters and the Bud Bike, and start speeding. I turn the corner, just as they make it halfway down the alley, only for them to stop, and check to see if I'm still back here.

"KEEP runnin' BOY!!" I boom. I am in no mood for this.

The children speed off.

Suddenly, all of the other Squidbillies pop over to bat at the fences. Here's a good shot of where this is going, I'll let you decide which one is me:

"Excuse you, what is yer problem?" Says a fat woman in a hoodie, hot pants, greasy hair, an ankle tattoo of a melted butterfly and no shoes, with again, a very fake and self-racist accent.

"Those kids were on my property!" I snap. I've learned that small words work best, but "property" is one of a handful of large words they seem to understand.

"They only did that because you were being mean to to these poor, defenseless dogs! You deserve it!" As she's reading me the Peta act, the dog jumps the fence and starts barking too loud for me to hear her. Soon the other over 30 year olds start barking with the dogs, so without hesitation, I bellow:

SHUT THE MUTHAFUCKIN' HELL UP!!

Two dogs bow their heads in shame, one runs to his porch and barks from there. In the distance, I spot two very small children, looking to their elder siblings, and in baby voices I hear "Fuck? Fuck? Fuck? Fuck! Fuck!! Fuck Fuck!! Motha Fuck!!" in a Jay and Silent Bob approved moment, while another child from across the street yells "HEY!! I didn't know Madea lived here?" I have been told that when I am pissed, I tend to sound like I belong on BET.

So of course I got the "you've got some nerve" speech, which is followed by another neighbor, Butterball.

Butterball, all 5'7 and 479 lbs. of him, comes out in a stained wifebeater and Old Navy shorts. Why he just has to have his two cents wafting in my direction too.

"Do yew even understand mah dwogs?" He says in a threatening tone.

"Apparently not, sir. Otherwise I wouldn't be screaming at them to shut the fuck up!!"

Lemme ask you if this argument sounds familiar? "These dogs is trained to protect our property, so when they see a burglur, they is trained tew bark real loud to scare away IN-trudurs." And yes folks, he said that as though somewhere exists a group of out-truders.

"I'm not on your fucking property!! I'm on MY property, taking out MY trash into MY can!!" I seriously can't believe he tried the "protecting my property" speech on me.

"Well they saw yew, and YEW scared 'em, and they was thinklin' yer probably gonna steal from MAH house!!"

By the way, he's three houses down from me. So there's enough of a distance to fit two to three cars from where my footses were placed, to his fence.

"FROM HERE???? *stamps feet* FROM HEEEEEEEEEEERE??? I'm a good several feet from your property, how the fuck am I supposed to steal diddly SHIT from your house, when I am three cars away???"

He stood there for a while, trying to contemplate the spacial distance between my feet and his dog, when joining the party was the mother of Budweiser Boy.

"Heyyyy!! Were you the one yellin' up at mah kiyeds?" growls a woman with clear skin damage from years of tanning. Matted blonde hair, blue raccoon makeup, gruff smoker's voice, crop top, hot pants, barefoot with a tramp stamp and a beer bottle in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. Perfect. "How dare yew yell at mah little angels!"

"Are you their mother?" I yell with a slightly delirious twinge of hope in my vocal chords.

"Why yes ah ahyum!"

"GOOD! Your little crotch rockets have been on my property many times, along with *pointing behind me* those little FREAKS across the street!!" Which is true. I've caught these kids before, sprawled out over my front lawn, playing in the bushes, setting off firecrackers and drinking their parents' beer. The ones across the street have even toked outside my window, stealing pot from their older brothers. Why the cops refuse to do something about it, I have no idea, but it's a sad, sorry and frightening sight to see a couple of 6-8 year olds getting high.

"Mah angels have dun nuffin wrong, they gots every right to do whut they want, an' if this is how yew act then you deserve it."

Seeing no end to the parade of stupidity before me, I decided to do what my mother told me to do as a child.

Tell the truth.

"REALLY? You think so? Well here's a news flash for ya. My fence has rusted nails sticking out all over, there's dangerous shit falling from the house into my lawn, and in a couple of months, this whole thing is going to be torn down. Pardon the FUCK out of me if I don't want your little bar room accidents getting TETANUS!!"

Now like I said, small words work, and telling the truth is a good thing. Because when I said the word "tetanus" Butterball straightened up, and tallied up the cost in his head for medical treatments for each kid, in case they got the terrible disease.

"Yes ma'am, I'll do something about the dogs and make sure the kids stay away from your house." His fake accent was almost totally gone. His shoulders dropped, and he motioned for his kids to move to the front of the property. He told the other neighbors that tetanus was a scary disease that causes your young ones to "grow mutant legs". Of course that's not what the disease can do, but if it prompts these people to ditch the fake accents and curb their kids and animals, then that's all that counts.

I offered an apology for yelling, in the exchange that they re-train the dogs and keep the kids OFF my property. I got a half assed "the dogs are really friendly" comment, with an added "well um um.. I'm friends with yer FAAAAThur" as if that was supposed to sound intimidating. But when they saw that wasn't going to scare me, the three sets motioned for the dogs to come back inside.

As I sat down to tell this story, I heard three more children walking past my house:

"HEY!! You don't wanna go near there. There's a wicked witch inside the house!! She'll turn your dog into a pussycat if you bother her."

Damn straight.

UPDATE: I couldn't sleep after sharing my story with the world. There were two things bothering me about this episode.

For starters, the fat Peta bitch in the hoodie. She got on me for being "mean" to her "poor defenseless dogs" and yet in the very next breath, she and the other clowns were talking about how they had raised these dogs to protect their property. These are attack dogs, trained to attack, yet they are living in the same homes as children.

Which is it? Is he a poor, defenseless puppy, or is he your weapon ~ or rather ~ your shield? Can you really read me the Peta riot after you've bred a dog to kill? And where the hell have you lived where you feel you "need" a dog to "protect" you?? If things are so bad that you feel you need to train an animal to kill, maybe you should MOVE.

The second thing is the children. Not one of them was above the age of eight, yet as I've said before, one had a Budweiser strapped to his bike, and the lot of them have been on my property before, shooting firecrackers while getting drunk and high.

If Junior is at a level where at the second grade, he's already toking, drinking and setting things on FIRE, I doubt very highly that my fowl language is the worst thing that can happen to him. I'm pretty sure we've reached the end of the line on how low this kid is going in life.

And what kind of a cop would openly see children engaging in pot and beer, and opt to do nothing about it?? My local law enforcers have been witness to this and still choose to do nothing about it. If I was a cop, and I saw Junior with a Bud strapped to his lil' bicycle, I'd pull him over, maybe have a chat with his mom and dad.

But the violent dogs and drug abusing children weren't what was the "problem" to these people in the alley. The fact that I yelled a bad word was. That scares me. Look, I know you're proud of your straight D- education, but since when is my saying "fuck" somehow worse than your 6-8 year olds getting high and drunk?

I wonder if any of this wound up on camera?

Application for a mop

Have you ever heard the phrase "when it rains it pours"? WELL this is what they were talking about.

So the other day, I woke up to the news that my house is going for Sheriff's auction in June, so I need to figure out how to be GONE by then. Awesome. The lawyer bought us until the first week of June.. and that's about all he's done. Lovely.

So I had a day and a half straight of listening to my parents kvetch. My mom is trying to figure out why nobody has gotten off their ass long enough to hire either of us long enough to pay for this move, and my father has regressed into re-denial about their divorce.

He spent several hours boasting about the leftover garbage he found at garage sales while pausing every few minutes to tell me how "I had better" get rid of everything I own, because my owning more than a handful of clothes and a bed is somehow a burden on him. This is the same clown who does not live with me AT ALL, yet has an apartment under my living area, where he lives alone as a hoarder. Go figure.

His batshit girlfriend Maryse also took time out of her busy day to phone him and tell him what a horrible human being I must be, because I don't go Smurf shopping with her. I am not kidding. She said (and I quote) that "Smurfs are a part of my soul, because they understand French children, so I must become one with them." She just spent $100 on the long recalled Smurfs cereal. The one from the 80's that pretty much made kids poop a Smurf. I shouldn't be surprised, since this is the same psycho I've blogged about before who spent $500 to bring a stray Hitler cat from Japan to America. She also performs "spells" and is still allowed around small children as a teacher.

By the way, Charles was spotted a month ago on the side of the highway, still very sick, but ran before he could be captured. This cat has legit died more times than those 9 lives allot.

Yesterday I was in a rotten mood. I couldn't handle anybody's bullshit when I couldn't even handle my own life. Surely, it can't get any-

*CRACK BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Ah. Shame on me for even thinking that sentence.

Now, I live pretty close to the Calumet River. In fact I have to walk over it to get groceries. A little background here.

Before I moved to this lovely suburb in Hell, the city had decided to drill into the cement and add drains and dips all over the surrounding area. Why? "To defer flood waters" was the shameless excuse everyone was given.

Now before the drains were put in, the waters from the "Lil Cal" would wash through the streets, causing a lovely annoyance to people, but would subside on their own.

Now? Well thanks to the pipes, drains and dips all over my town and the town next to it, all that lovely, sewage filled water now backs up into my house, my neighbors' houses, and makes for a stinky swimming pool right by the shopping center. In fact, here's a shot of my local shopping center, courtesy of NBC 5:

Now after this was taken in 2008, and they started evacuating people by boat from the clinic (upper left corner) it took until last week to finish repairing all of the damages. Renovations on the Taco Bell (center) just wrapped up last week.

Guess what happened overnight?

Well it hasn't gotten this bad YET, but as my neighbor from across the street was bailing out his "downstairs lab" (Dear Jebus I can't move fast enough) he suggested calling the Calumet Trustee's office for aid.

So my mother did just that. This is what happened:

Mama: Ah hello? Is this the Calumet Trustee office for disaster relief?
Lady: What's your issue, honey?
Mama: Well my basement's flooded and my neighbors are trying to bail out their homes. The Little Calumet is still rising, and after the rains everyone is flooding. What sort of disaster relief funds may I apply for?
Lady: *Sucks in air* Ooooh yeah um... I dunnoooooooooooooooo what you mean by disaster fundage or anything. But we don't do that. Our aid is not monitary, m'kay?
Mama: Ah... I beg your pardon? I do not think I understand.
Lady: Well do you live in MUNSTER?? (She says with venom in her voice)
Mama: No.
Lady: Ah okay that's fine then.
Mama: See what happened was-
Lady: AREYOUSUREYOUDONTLIVEINMUNSTER??
Mama: Yes yes! I don't live in Munster.
Lady: Ah good... good.......................................

Mama: So as I was saying-

Lady: ARYSHUREYUDINTLIFINMINSTR!!

Mama: For the last time I don't live in Munster, okay??
Lady: Well GOOD then.
Mama: Anyway, we're all flooding right now, what kind of emergency aid are my neighbors and I entitled to?

Lady: Well we don't exactly have any financial aaaaaaaid.
Mama: Um...
Lady: See what we can do is we can send each of you a form. You fill out the form and send it back to us, and if we approve you... we will send you a free mop and bucket.
Mama:.... I'm sorry say that again?
Lady: Now that's only IF you get approved. We have a process here. But → IF ← you are approved, we will send you a free mop and bucket.

When my mother recounted this story earlier today, my brother screamed "IT'S NOT POT, IT'S A FUCKING BUCKET!!" Alluding to the fact that it's actually quicker to obtain pot in the state of Indiana than it is to obtain a "free" mop and bucket.

And this isn't even a fancy mop and bucket either. This is one of those cheap, plastic $4 sets you find in every old person's home. It's not even a Swiffer.

Of the many types of Government aids out there, I never thought that they had such a strenuous process for a mop and bucket.

Dare I ask what would disqualify me from the process of gaining this mop and bucket?

Tumblr thinks harassment is cool

I got an email yesterday from a friend of mine on YouTube, who told me that there were total strangers posting hateful things about her on Tumblr. These are people she's never spoken to before and didn't know existed, until the hate started going viral.

I got onto the Tumblr page and found they were also stalking another friend of mine, without her knowledge.

The page also has people jumping on there, telling other Tumblr users as young as 13, that they "need to" and "had better" kill themselves.

Why did these Tumblrs want my two friends and these teenagers to kill themselves? 

Because these butthurt wastes of life (The Tumblr trolls) hated that my two friends made some cool CGI videos, using a freeware called MikuMikuDance. 

Yeah for real. Videos of CGI girls dancing makes trolls wish you were dead.

And I should know, I love that software.

But after I started getting "not too bad" with it in 2010-11, a bunch of strangers went after me, hacked me, posted a hate shrine against me on ED, stalked me, stalked my family, sent me death threats and even hacked my Facebook, so they could tag my entire friends and family in sick porn pictures in my name.

I've been where my friends have been before, with sick bastards trying to ruin my life.

So I went ahead and used Tumblr's "contact us" feature to report the two Tumblr pages.

This is what "Danii" from Tumblr support says:

from:		Tumblr Support
reply-to:		Tumblr Support

Danii (Tumblr Support)

Apr 10 08:29 pm (EDT)

We realize this content may be very upsetting. However, sometimes content posted by a blogger may be mean-spirited or upsetting but does not violate the law. In order to maintain freedom of expression, we won't remove that material right now.

I strongly suggest you add that user to your Ignore list at http://tumblr.com/ignore. This way, the blogger can't see your posts on his/her Dashboard, and you won't see the blogger listed in post notes or Dashboard notifications. You also won't get Asks or Fan Mail from users you've ignored.

Keep in mind that we don’t notify bloggers that you’ve ignored them, although they may realize it once they stop hearing from you altogether.

Thank you for taking the time to share your concern with us.

--
Tumblr Support
support@tumblr.com

No, Danii. This is NOT acceptable. You have failed to do your job.

The TOS agreement for Tumblr expressly says that you are not to use the site to harass, belittle or post hate against anybody for any reason. Yet that is just what these people have done.

And yet the Tumblr team didn't think that this was worth their time. 

That it's "freedom of expression" for total strangers to name-call and ask people to kill themselves.... over a CGI.

This complacent attitude, when suicides are on the rise due to cyber stalking and harassment, is NOT acceptable.

What would it take, Danii? A few more suicides from the harassment? A lawsuit against Tumblr? Would you like it if people trolled you like this? 

How much is too much?

At what point as a society did we start to mollycoddle and accept stalking, slander, harassment and threats as "innocent bullying"? 

This is as bad as when a cop ignores a spouse who's been beaten, and says 'Meh, domestic dispute" and refuses to take into custody the criminal.

Should I be surprised? After all, we have so many news stations, cheering rapists and lamenting over their spoiled careers while at the same time, shaming rape victims and making it out like the attack is all their fault. If this is how our society treats violent, even deadly crimes, I shouldn't be surprised when a company like Tumblr openly supports cyber harassment.

We are in a society that accepts people being bullied as "Well you better learn how to deal with it, ya PANSY!" when strangers are spreading rumors and being malicious to people they have never met.

Enough.

I hereby urge people to drop Tumblr like the bad habit it is. If you have tweens/teens order them to do the same.

Flood their inbox with your concern over this blind acceptance of hate. 

We need to make a change.

Lucy84 and the phone more important than her children

One day when I am a mother, if for ANY reason you see me being so negligent as to pay more attention to a cell phone than my children, I want you to pinch me in the arm as hard as you can, and scream bloody murder, until I stop being stupid and attend to the kids.

Before I get to today's blog, I love wrestling. There is no better way to close a day like this, than to hear about EVOLVE crowning their first champion (AR Fox), Ring of Honor crowning a new champion (Jay Briscoe) and the Hall of Fame featuring ALL 6 entrants properly on TV this year.

I needed to get a prescription today. Only my closest friends/family get to know why, but suffice to say that $106 is too expensive for freaking prescription strength Benadryl. >_O

So anyway, I ventured to Target, hoping to save a few dollars on the prescription. Ha ha ha.

Now Target is much closer to my house than Wal*Mart, but still about a mile east. I have no car, so this means I had to walk.

As I'm walking, I'm getting honked at, and getting laughed at, there are fully grown adults ~ half of them senior citizens ~ making fun of me. How dare I clutter up THEIR lovely streets by walking? And with a tiny cart no less?

Oh, and I dare to pay for broccoli with a food stamp card? Well obviously I must be a degenerate. So I deserve to have the cashier roll her eyes at my mom and I, and call me a "loser bitch" under her breath. Obviously, I should be shot.

By the way, if you for one single, solitary moment, want to pretend that people without a car or on food stamps are "welfare whores" and that I'm somehow a "loser" for fitting this category, because I'm earning less than a living wage at what I do, I implore you. Please, try and go through the Indiana SNAP process yourself, and tell me how "easy" it is. When you're done crying like a bitch at how many officers call you a whore, loser, possible drug addict and a drain on our society, you may come back and comment on this blog. Please try it keyboard jocks. And while you're at it, try getting a job at McDonald's without a college degree. I want to hear how "easy" it is for you. Please include a scan of your 2013 McDonald's name tag as proof of what you accomplished today. And don't forget the lid on my Coke. ╭∩╮*^_^*╭∩╮

I take a sip at the water fountain before heading to the Rx counter. There are TWO water fountains, spaced pretty well apart.

There's a dude behind me, who sees me taking a drink. He has the opportunity to use the other fountain. It's a mere 15 inch difference.

Instead, he stands behind me, sighing heavily and gets frustrated. I move, and then he touches the fountain, and then wipes his hands real quick, looking at my face, and then looking at his hands in wonderment. No dude, my skin color won't rub off on you. Thanks for asking. I swear, between Target and Facebook, I wonder if I've gone back to the mid 1960's. There's more racism now than ever.

While waiting in line as "Ashley" very slowly decided to roll lazily along the counter, I found myself standing behind a woman, who should have had her tubes tied during puberty.

I saw the woman's cell phone long enough to know her screen name is Lucy84. So that's how I will refer to her for the duration of this story.

Lucy84 has two children. They are wearing normal clothes, while she is wearing the latest fashion trend. I noticed a ton of other moms doing the same thing. They're dressed like they're about to go clubbing, while their husbands and children are dressed by Le Boutique De Goodwill. Funny that.

The one child is hanging off the cart like a monkey. Other people are slamming into his little face, and nobody is caring to notice that. But he seems fine being slapped about by so many shopping carts, and his mom doesn't care.

The other child is very small, but she looks about 4 or 5 ish. She is sitting in the cart, less than a full 2 inches from her mother's face. Please keep that in mind.

Lucy84 is very slowly, lazily, playing with her cell phone. She makes short calls, but spends most of her time here, blogging about floral print bags and how annoying her kids are. I wouldn't know, except she has a large phone, so you can read the damn thing from an aisle away.

The daughter starts screeching. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY I WANNA GOOO I WANNA GO LET'S GO MOOOOOVE ALREADY!!!!"

Now the child doesn't seem to be upset. She's doing that thing where she just wants attention. Lucy84 doesn't seem to notice, she just keeps playing with her phone.

"MOMMOMMOM MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I WANNA GO LET'S GO I WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

The boy child, who can't be older than maybe 7, appears to be the responsible person in this triad. He looks up at Lucy84 and says "Hey mother? I believe she's trying to get your attention. Mother? She really needs you to pay attention."

Lucy84 is ignoring both of them now.

The son rolls his eyes, and decides to let nature take it's course.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMYYYYY" hollers the girl who is nearly in tears. Still, Lucy84 does not budge. There's less than 3 inches between Lucy84 and the girl, it's not like she's out of reach here. How hard is it to tend to a child these days??

The daughter stands in the cart and grabs Lucy84 by the face. "MOM!! I want to go NOW!!"

Shockingly? Lucy84 doesn't even acknowledge this! I don't hear a peep out of her, except for the constant "pop pop pop" of her fingers against the touch screen.

Furious. the little girl sits in the cart again and screams.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY C'MON ALREADY I WANNA GO LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO I WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Lucy84 stops blogging long enough to snap the phone up, and in a whisper, tell the two children "Now really, this behavior is not conducive to what we agreed to int he car! You both must stop right now."

With that, Lucy84 returns to blogging. Both children cock their heads slightly, as if to mentally say "My mom is an idiot."

Dropped off the prescription. "Ashley" insisted that it would be done in 30 minutes.

... Well an hour and a half later, the prescription isn't even half done. I can't imagine to what ends of the Earth Ashley had gone to in order to obtain the medical grade Benadryl, but apparently I wasn't alone. Lucy84 was back, still waiting for her prescription.

The daughter is still agitated. "WHY ARE WE BACK HERE MOM LET'S GO I WANNA LEAVE I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE I WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" She's kicking her legs and giving everyone a headache.

What does Lucy84 do? Fire up Angry Birds and play by herself of course.

The daughter starts poking her arm. Lucy84 just swats her away. "Not NOW I'm busy. You are going to make me mess up my high score. Just shut up, gawd." She groans quietly.

As the girl starts screaming again, my mother asks Ashley what is taking the prescription so long. "Like wooooooooooooooooooooow man it'll like totally be another couple minutes. ah'kaaaay?" Um, no Ashley, it's not okay. Especially not when I can see the box of medication behind you. Freaking do your JOB.

"Oh woooooooooooooooow are you like... over 18 and stuff? 'Cause you know like Benadryl ... is like totally medicine and whatnot."

Have you been snorting it??? Dear God woman, get up and fill the damn bottle already!!

Ashley asks repeatedly who this is for. I am seriously wondering how this moron got a job. She's rolling on the counter in a lucid state, and doesn't seem able to fill a bottle on time.

Finally, Ashley hands me my prescription..... written out to "Alexander" Ake. REALLY??? How hard is it to spell "Koriander"??? That's just belligerence. >_O

All the way to the parking lot, I can hear the little girl screaming. Lucy84 never once puts down her cell phone as she pushes the cart. Finally, she stops pushing (in the middle of the street I might add) to stamp her feet and say "UGH! Just why can't you let Mommy focus for one minute on what's important??"

Um... Lucy84... let me be clear... your KIDS are what's important!! You remember them, don't you? Sure you do! The gangly little monkys you gave birth to, who've bee trying to grab your attention all damn day??

Not your cell phone, not your blog, and sure as hell not Angry Birds. Puddown the phone and tend to your kids!!

If ever you catch Lucy84 in her light grey hoodie and sparkly jeans, ignoring her children for Angry Birds, please do me a favor. Punch her in the right breast ~ right on the side by her arm. That way, she won't be able to tweet about the pain, and maybe, juuuust maybe, her kids can have their mom back.

Mick Foley & Bob Backlund bumped OFF of TV? APOLOGIZE!! (UPDATED APRIL 5TH!!)

I heard the rumors for two days, but I was really hoping they were just that, rumors.

But as it turns out, they were 100% true, as confirmed by Mick Foley via Twitter this afternoon, that his speech was being cut from the televised broadcast of the WWE Hall of Fame.

At the same time, I discovered that Bob Backlund's speech was also being cut.

This injustice had to be corrected. So I created a C.M. Punk "Apologize" meme, and got it sent to Mick and to the world right away.

What I never expected was the immediate and positive reaction I got, not just from Mick Foley, but from the entire wrestling community, and dare I say it? The WWE Universe. I'll let my Twitter feed speak for itself, be sure to give everyone listed a shoutout on Twitter if you can:

Obviously, these fans love professional wrestling, but more to the point, they love and respect Bob Backlund and Mick Foley.

Mick Foley has always been one of the WWE's most enthusiastic supporters, very rarely calling out questionable decisions, choosing only to do so when it's fair. His characters have always brought about the best when it comes to both action and storytelling, and his ability to write compelling books on his own has done much to take down the stereotype of the "dumb wrestler". His unique take on hardcore wrestling has inspired new wrestlers to pick up where he left off, but with a more educated and cautious flair. The Attitude Era would never have gotten to be nearly as popular without the ECW alumni.

Bob Backlund put technical grappling front and center in the spotlight during his heyday. He knew he wasn't as flashy as Superstar Billy Graham or as muscular as Bruno Sammartino, and he used that less as a disadvantage and more as an excuse to do twice as much in the ring as others his own size. Wrestling fans in the 1970's took note of that, and by staying focused on wrestling itself, he created a legacy that has since paved the way for other technical grapplers like William Regal, Dean Malenko and Bryan Danielson.

Even non-WWE fans and non-Wrestling fans know who these two are. They are an important part of the WWE's legacy, and neither man should be cut down for a washed up reality star like Donald Trump.

No offense to the multiple time bankrupted celebrity, but his dealings with the WWE have been few and far between, being relegated to the same Wrestlemania guest appearance spots in the 1980's as Liberace.

The fact that it's Trump taking up most of the time is what's hurting and angering the WWE Universe the most. Not only has he not contributed more than a few spot payments to Vince McMahon in the 80's, and a sad Hair vs. Hair match a few scant years ago, he's done much to downplay his relationship with the McMahons, while Backlund and Foley have bled for Vince McMahon ~ literally. The two have sacrificed time with their loved ones, sacrificed their health and well being, if only to entertain the audience at home and abroad.

Vince McMahon has always bent over backwards to try and please Donald Trump, eager to be accepted by a celebrity he looks up to as a brother. In return, Trump has done a fair job of putting him down, snubbing him, but taking him for all he's worth anyway.

On the flip-side  Foley and Backlund have allowed the WWE to profit from their battered bodies and image in the form of T-Shirts, DVDs, VHS tapes, Blu-Ray, action figures, and a wide array of other products, garnering profit for the McMahon name. Even when not in the company, they have both continued to offer praise to the WWE and help them stay fresh in the minds of even the most casual wrestling fan.

And in turn, the fans want better, as reported by The Angry Marks Network today.

Many people within the WWE Universe have already voiced their grievances to Vince McMahon's Twitter account, and many more will be doing it in person at the Fan Axxes events this weekend.

Certainly, this is as good a time as any to make your voice heard. Let's remind the WWE that it's folly to cut Foley and Backlund from the USA broadcast.

UPDATE:

Just saw some great news from Mick Foley's Facebook:

SANTA SAVES HALL OF FAME FOR FOLEY!

Sources tell us that a last minute deal brokered between Santa Claus and WWE owner Vincent McMahon have saved what could have been an ugly incident at Saturdays Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Santa broke the news on his official Twitter site @SantaClausWay, tweeting, "don't worry @RealMickFoley. I had a nice talk with @VinceMcMahon and your #WWEHOF speech WILL be televised."

Foley was said to be so happy that he jumped for joy, before realizing that his arthritic knees no longer allow him to jump, causing him to crumble clumsily into a hot dog cart in Times Square. Helpful onlookers helped the Hardcore Legend to his feet, and actually began a "Foley" chant, which ended almost as soon as it started - and possibly sooner, according to an onlooker who admitted to losing quite a bit of respect for Foley during the course of the incident.

We'll have more as this breaking story develops. But for now, it truly seems that Santa Claus has saved the day - Saturday - for his number one fan. Foley asked that we share the link to his "Saint Mick" t-shirt.

I'm hoping the same will be said for Mr. Backlund. Let's keep it up!

UPDATE #2:

WWE and Mick Foley confirmed that the Hall of Fame has been restructured. EVERYONE will have their own time on the TV broadcast.

And as a bonus, Booker T's big brother Stevie Ray is inducting the WCW alumni, making for a Harlem Heat reunion.

I love a happy ending. ^_^

Don't accept this from big business.

Why do we allow this nonsense?

Why do we nod our heads and accept businesses toying with our right to work?

Why do we blindly accept, that while every job out there requires multiple degrees and years of servitude that is impossible to obtain, they in return don't even have to show us the common courtesy of a phone call?

You want me to give up my personal accounts, let you into my personal off-the-clock life, you want me to have extra degrees, extra experience, a lengthy resume ~ yet you don't want me to have had more than three jobs in my entire life, send in a cover letter and forward by Morgan Freeman, yet because you have money, I'm supposed to accept and even like that you don't have the balls to call me back and hire me?

No.

We wouldn't accept this out of our nation's children. So why accept it out of big business?

Here's a "job" listing I just got. I'll add my notes in bold blue as we go along:

AT&T Consultant - Professional Services 3 

AT&T - Chicago, IL (Greater Chicago Area) 

Job Description

AT&T Consulting Solutions

Microsoft Unified Communications Architect (That's a buzz term meaning "Customer Service".)

General Qualifications

A seasoned and strategic thought leader in large scale multi-vendor Unified Communications (UC) solutions. Require full life cycle architecture, design and deployment expertise.

Role Overview

Engage in key engagements (Engage in engagements? As opposed to what, engaging in on engagements? Of serious? I'm supposed to accept a grammar error that BIG in the opening line, just because AT&T is a company? Bullshit!) 

and lead teams in the delivery of AT&T Consulting UC service portfolio (No period, or other way to end or otherwise convert the sentence. "Delivery of consulting" again means "Customer Service")

Ability to manage and exceed client expectations for delivery (Be here before we need you, do more than what we ask you to.) including facilitated meetings, whiteboard sessions, presentations, deliverables and weekly communications with client and engagement managers on status and health of the projects. (Missing commas. More fancy buzzwords that mean "Show up to meetings" and "Customer service". A chimp can be trained to do the same thing.)

Strong business acumen and strategic customer interaction, including workshops and Strategy and Roadmap deliverables is key. (Where do I start on the grammatical errors with this? "Road" and "Map" for starters are two different words.)

Deliver and lead strategy, readiness (deliver readiness? What is that? Deliver readiness, like "Hi ♥ I brought your desire to work today ~ it's cherry flavored!") and other assessments, architecture and complex multi-vendor integration services. (I'm to deliver architecture? Ah don't we hire an architect for that?? That's like saying "I need you to deliver surgery!" Sorry, but I'm not a surgeon.)

Support Unified Communications Practice initiatives as a collaborative team. (This is a SOLO application. You are not asking for a team, you are asking for ONE person only.)

Foster the development of standardized templates and Knowledge Management artifacts (Knowledge artifacts, apparently I am to develop ancient knowledge artifacts. Let that seep in a minute.) 

 to improve field self-sufficiency. (Now you want me to improve self sufficiency? Which is it? Are we a team or individual??)

Education and Certifications

Hands-on experience in UC on large, complex, and multi-vendor environments. (In person Customer Service.)

15+ years industry experience and 5 years experience in Microsoft Technologies Consulting.(By this math, the applicant should be 35+ ~ but you know they really want someone fresh out of college.)

Strategic IT Consulting experience. (Customer service.)

Bachelors Degree or Equivalent. (For customer service.)

Industry certifications applicable to UC.

Microsoft UC Voice Specialization

Microsoft Certified Master and/or Microsoft Certified Architect (desired) 

Business and Technical Skills

Microsoft OCS R2 and Lync 2010 architecture, design and deployment expertise

Participate in Voice Partner Program, TAP and other Microsoft Programs

OCS R2/Lync 2010 Architecture, Design and Integration experience

Multi-vendor integration with:

TDM to IP based voice solutions, including Cisco, Avaya, Siemens

Conferencing Solutions such as Tandberg and Polycom

Voice and messaging integration with Microsoft OCS and Lync

Unified Messaging experience with Microsoft, Avaya and Cisco solutions.

Deployment experience with media gateway including AudioCodes, Net Quintum and Dialogic

SIP Trunking (That's alot of crap for customer service. 3 quarters of this you won't use while on the job, they just want you to have it.)

Customer use case scenarios

Data center network re-engineering

Internet access engineering

WAN acceleration and content distribution

QoS, Multicast, IP traffic engineering (desired)

Outstanding written and verbal communications skills with experience in VP and CxO level interaction and facilitation of diverse groups and stakeholders. (Have good grammar, be polite and speak well.)

Ability to travel up to 75%. (You will spend 6 days a week on the road.)

Distinguished interpersonal skills and responsiveness supporting customers (Have good grammar, be fast, polite and speak well.)

Ability and wiliness to assist sales and field management in expanding and development of new business opportunities (Be willing to do everyone else's job, plus yours.)

Company Description

The largest communications company in the United States. And the world. We are the industry leaders in providing wireless service, high speed internet access, local and long distance voice, and directory publishing and advertising services across the US. We are also developing our business to include next-generation television services with our new AT&T U-VerseSM TV. (Any customer of AT&T can tell you this is utter bullshit.)

Join our incredibly diverse company of more than 250,000 people and help drive the innovation that keeps AT&T at the leading edge of technology and service. (When a company says they are diverse, that means they have 3-5 Black people per building unit, and they outsource to Brazil, Malaysia and Taiwan.)

Expect big things from the company that created the communications industry. AT&T (Expect it, but of course they won't deliver.)

Additional Information

Posted: March 2, 2013 

Type: Full-time 

Experience: Not Applicable 

Functions: General Business, Business Development, Research 

Industries: Information Technology and Services, Telecommunications, Wireless 

Employer Job ID: 1232284

Job ID: 4518331

Translation: We want 15+ years of experience, and for you to meet these requirements, but IF you do, we're gonna tell you you're "over-qualified" and then hire some kid in Brazil instead.

So they want you to meet all of these requirements, work above and beyond your job, work crazy hours, and yet they don't even have the manners to correct the grammar?

Lesson here, don't accept BS based on who has what money. We're Americans, let's act like it.

Nobody asks for abuse ~ you can't will someone to beat you

I've been on radio shows off and on since 2009 or 2010 and while I try to do my best, there are times where you hear me being completely silent.

There's two reasons for this. One is that I'm not always confident in my abilities as a host, and two ~ and more importantly ~ I like to listen to our guest's stories. I feel I can learn more from listening than I can from talking. I honestly do feel like a little kid again, not wanting the story to end.

But today's guest really had me in a tight spot, and I want to apologize to anybody listening.

Listen to internet radio with Cloverleaf Radio on Blog   Talk Radio

Ms. Maxwell as you can hear on the show, has no love lost for Tina Turner.

Now to be very fair, I don't know very much about what all happened or who did what, but she said a few things that really bothered me, and went against her otherwise, seemingly positive, message.


"Tina Turner liked to be beaten"

O_O Um... WHAT??

"If you're REALLY a strong woman, you would never be beaten. If you're beaten, you're probably not that strong, and subconsciously you asked for it!"

As I tried to state on the show, I disagree.

Now first and foremost, I do not believe in spousal abuse. I don't believe a woman should hit a man, nor should a man hit a woman.

The only times this can be allowed are if the combatants are being paid to wrestle, box or participate in some other form of paid sport and competition, or if one person is fighting in self defense after the first blow has landed.

Backstage before a show, does not ever fall into the category of acceptable violence.

As for the notion that "if you're strong you can't be beaten" I beg to differ.

My mother's mother is a very strong woman. She actually knows how to box and while not a veteran, does have moderate military training under her belt.

Her second husband beat her.

I sincerely doubt that quietly boiling carrots while preparing dinner would ever "subconsciously" call out to an assailant "please come beat me".

My mom is a strong woman.

The same asshole that beat her mom, beat her as well.

I know for a fact that there is no child on this planet that uses brain waves or "energy" of any kind, to manipulate a drunk man into beating her unconscious while she's doing her homework.

My mom's friend (for her safety, I'm re-naming her "Janet") was just honorably discharged from the Navy about a year ago. A fighter from the United States Navy, this woman has had gun and hand-to-hand training. She is literally G.I. Jane in a sailor suit.

Janet just left an abusive relationship two weeks ago. Janet's boyfriend liked to take out his aggression about his lot in life on her, usually while she was minding her own business.

My neighbor across the street was set on fire, over $5 Wal*Mart jewelry that her ex-husband wanted to wear. It was the middle of the night, during a meteor shower. I'm fairly certain she wanted to enjoy the shooting stars before bed, rather than to deal with someone who she cared about, beating her.

And I have met guys who were beaten by their girlfriends, usually over stupid things like television and time spent playing video games, or walking the dog instead of shopping with her. (Actual excuse.) It's a sad and sorry sight, to see a human being, reduced to tears and bruises, because someone else found fault with their daily habits.

The truth is that men and women can be very strong, both mentally and physically, and still get beaten by the people who are supposed to love them.

It's not your fault, and you can't subconsciously "will" anybody to beat you. You have no control over your subconscious  and scientifically speaking, the body is more apt to head into "fight or flight" mode subconsciously than it is to give off an "abuse me please" signal.

Bottom line, the human body is not capable of psychically asking another human being to attack it.

So to anybody who chose to listen to the show with Holly Maxwell, I sincerely apologize if you felt offended by anything either she or I have said.