Monday, December 19, 2011

Maybe I am magic? Koriander ~ a Cartooning Booker!?

First of all, we match!

Second of all, I've been posting ways I would book WWE. Now since I started posting my ideas on Blogger, Bryan has...

1. Wrestled William Regal in matches that stole the show.
2. Managed a BRIEF but memorable "my teacher's better than yours" story with Tyson Kidd.
3. (OMG!) Become holder of the Smackdown belt.

America... you are welcome.

God knows WWE "Creative" wasn't going to come up with these gems by themselves.

For further reading, here are my older posts:
An Open Letter I Know the WWE won't Read
Another Letter I know the WWE Won't Read But YOU Should
Tyson Kidd vs. Bryan Danielson
From Hell in a Cell to Wrestlemania. I Have until 5!!
Restructuring the belts

And to aaaaaaaall my haters and naysayers from this year, Merry F'N Christmas:

Cena no-showed TLC and...

John Cena was absent from WWE TLC. While Cena was gone...

Kim Jong Il died.

Bryan Danielson became Smackdown champion.

The last U.S. Troops in Iraq were sent home.

WWE produced a December PPV that didn't suck AND it was wrestling based.

Zack Ryder won the U.S. title.

C.M. Punk is happy.

HHH and Kevin Nash wrestled as well as they did in their youth.

The Divas match was tolerable.

Randy Orton wrestled as though he didn't have I.E.D. and as though he gave a shit about his performance.

A bookstore opened in my area ~ that has friendly service with knowledgeable employees that speak English, and sells rare books, rare magazines, vinyl records, video games and manga at decent prices.


Hmm... Maybe Cena should no-show a few more PPVs. Maybe we'll get a fixed economy, job creation and world peace.

Where were you the day Hell froze over?

I was at BAM! bookstore the moment the world changed. It was a treat visiting the new store, while out running errands.

I come home to an overfull inbox of messages. Apparently Hell froze over in the nicest of ways.

1. John Cena was given the PPV off from in ring competition.
2. Kim Jong Iil is dead, dead, deady mcdeaderstien.
3. Bryan Danielson is the new SmackDown champion.
4. WWE apparently produced a GOOD PPV.
5. It was a GOOD PPV in the month of December.
6. Zack Ryder won the US belt.
7. AND neither he nor Bryan got screwed over in the process.
8. Randy Orton wrestled like a wrestler and NOT some looney tune, head punting viper.
9. It was a WRESTLING PPV, NOT Sports Entertainment.

What can I say? WWE doing something RIGHT for a change must have shocked Iil to death.

For the first time in I don't remember when, I cried happy tears. I've only done this a few times in my whole life. But perhaps I should leave you with #10:

10. I'm the first cartoonist in the world to finish something on Bryan's win:

Friday, December 16, 2011


(I apologize for the following. This won't be an insightful blog. Instead it's a collection of feelings I have right now.)

My 4 YouTube channels look like comment-less boxes, my Facebook is acting up, my Blogger just tried to send me to an ugly format, my Gmail is written in Arabic and MySpace is well... Myspace.

When I started getting comfortable with social networking in 2009, things were pretty grand. I made a ton of friends, got to share things, it was easy. Some days I wish I could have stopped time back then, just to revel in it a bit. I think April 09 was one of my better months, minus a rejection letter from PWI.

Now I have to watch what I post, or the copyright Nazis will pull ANOTHER video off of YouTube. I have hackers and spammers to contend with, hate sites about me, and an overstuffed inbox full of messages from people, asking me every 20 seconds why I won't update them with details about my last status update.

That last part is starting to worry me. Look, I spend enough time online as is. I DON'T need to email each of you a 20 page essay on why I tweeted "Watching Inside Edition. Brutus Beefcake and Hulk Hogan are gonna be on again!". You don't need to know what I'm doing 100% of the time. Also, odds are good that if I've posted "Facebook is glitching on my emails" guess what... guess what? That means I CAN'T respond to you, so fucking forgive me if I instead spend my time commenting on the statuses of everyone else I know, because seemingly that's all Facebook will allow me to do! Fuck, this thing won't even let me play the games I like without crashing my browser, and I am NOT going to risk another hack for Zynga. So please, instead of jamming my inbox with rude emails like "I need to know what's going on stop ignoring me" how about you get off the computer, and go get help. Lord knows Facebook ain't gonna let you do anything else. (That goes for a few YouTubers too.)

I've been made subject to glitches and freezes and slow to load interfaces. Whatever happened to regular sites?

If I could drill into Mark Zukerberg, MySpace Tom and the Google Group just ONE clear message, and have it stick for the remainder of time, it would be the phrase "If it ain't broke, DON'T fix it". I'd even tattoo it into their pupils, so that the saying would be the only thing they see for all time.

I can understand that SOME change is good. Sometimes things need to grow, as a seed becomes a flower.

But most of these changes do not EVER need to happen, and just serve to frustrate and annoy me. For example, can you see how many words I've typed out in capital letters? Yeah, they're written LIKE THIS not because I'm trying to express myself, but because Blogger just took away my damned BOLD FONT option! And my italics and my TeXt SiZe, so forgive me if this looks like it was written by a luney tune. Luney? Ah I see. Blogger has also disabled my sepil check. Greaaaaat. Would you belive I typed this on Chrome? Yeah, they broke that too.

I don't need a website riddled with Flash and Java, I need pages that fucking WORK. All the time, without censoring me!

Why is it ok for hate videos to be posted about me online, but if I post a Sailormoon clip I'm some sort of evil degenerate?

I'd also like a blog poster that doesn't re-write my coding either. I don't need a Google re-direct URL stapled to every link I post, I need a page that will let me just fucking post the links I want as is. Is this really so hard?

Email accounts that function, a social network that won't sell my information or bombard my family with captchas. none of these things are hard to code.

If I could ask Santa for something unselfishly, one of those "World Peace" kind of things, i'd wish for an internet that works.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Chyna goes from wrestling to OHMYGAWD!!

*_* Now for the record, I wasn't a "huge" Chyna fan when I was a little girl, but still, this is one of those people I used to watch on TV when I was growing up, so to see what has become of her is depressing.

So recently she said that she wants to become an "escort". Now even though I don't ever want to go into such a work field, I don't have anything bad to say about escorts. It's just the pricing that I question.

Let me see if I understand the logic here.

If you want Chyna to show up for a wrestling related signing or event, it's $5000.

Sleep with her for an hour and it's $3,500.

Each additional hour is $1,500.

24 hours is $10,000 (a discount really, as $1500 x 23 hours is $34,500, plus the initial $3500 it's $38000).

A weekend is $20,000. (Another discount, since $38,000 x 2 is $76,000.)

.... So for ONE hour with Chyna at a wrestling show is more expensive than one hour with her behind closed doors.

What... the... fuck?

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I'm sorry, an Anime bitch got WHAT??

(A small drawing I made of Black Lady {Chibiusa turned evil} after pranking her little sister Kousagi.)

Okay, the blog link I wanted to post here is missing, so I will just relay the story I was told the other day.

Now in response to my last blog: a friend of mine sent me this story, saved from her last trip to a local anime convention. No no, this wasn't Comic-con or any of the better known ones, this was one of those small town anime gatherings.

I just hope to God I can get the news article she sent back.

Now there was this young woman that went to a few conventions out in California. This Cosplayer was known as a creep. She's very rambunctious, and was known to start fights with other Cosplayers.

So two small town conventions after Comic-con, the girl shows up at a tiny anime convention, where she spots another girl, wearing the same costume as her, but slightly lighter.

Cosplayer #1 starts a fight with Cosplayer #2, initially over the costume color, and then it escalates to "My character is better than YOURS."

Cosplayer #2 says "No, MY character is better than YOURS!!"

Cosplayer #1 pulls out a knife and STABS Cosplayer #2 in the thigh.


Cosplayer #2 doesn't scream or cry. Instead, as she is spurting blood, she looks up at Cosplayer #1 and says "Ha! By your stabbing me, you just proved that you are wrong, my character is the better one, AND now that you've stabbed me, the blood is hitting my costume in the exact same spots as my favorite character, like when she was bleeding in my favorite episode."

Now nobody bothered to ask what the hell anime they were arguing about on account of the fact that A BITCH GOT STABBED!!!

This is the type of insanity I was talking about before. I don't know who I'm more afraid of, the psycho bitch that stabbed someone over an anime, OR the nutcase that was HAPPY to be stabbed because she now matched her character better.

I'm thinking too that the combination of hyper, super suspenseful anime and the amount of Ritalin and Prozac most of my generation were force fed as toddlers, was nothing short of a Molotov cocktail. "No harmful side effects" my ass!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Weeaboo is not a word.

(The above is a sketch I did for my long overdue Parallel Sailormoon project. Here, Minako is walking with her daughter Mina, who has never seen a GameBoy before. XD)

Some days, I miss certain aspects of the 1990’s.

When I was a little girl, it was typical to see sci-fi, anime, manga and video game fans, taking their fanhood to heights … IT NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!! (You get 10 brownie points if you got that reference.) It wasn’t a great big deal.

We would call them fanboys, fangirls or otaku, and leave it at that. We’d nod our heads, and move on with life, that’s all. No additional name-calling, no hate blogs, not even a funny face was made.

Why? Because we understood back then that this is what made those people happy. Yes, it looks insane when someone dresses up as an anime character, and she insists you call her “Little Washu”, or when a fully grown man starts talking into his watch, proclaiming that he really is the Green Ranger, but if they’re not breaking laws or being general assholes, it’s not really anything to write home about.

The worst case scenario back then, was if you got caught up in the drama of Star Trek fans. Trekkies you see are the freaks that believe Star Trek is reality, while Trekkers are bright enough to know this is just a TV show. So yes, you would find conventions filled with people dressed as Klingons, trying to argue as to whether or not they should call William Shatner “Captain Kirk”. But this like I said was the WORST case scenario, and it never got worse than swear words in Klingon. We were civil back then.

Now? Seemingly every forum and video page has offensive words littered all over the place, aimed at ALL sci-fi fans. And when I say “offensive” I don’t just mean the usual death threats and curse words, oh no. I mean offensive as in to my senses, like … who the hell developed the word “Weeaboo”?!

Probably pronounced “Wee-Ah-Booo” this word (which sounds like a toddler trying to tell you he scraped his knee) means the following according to Urban Dictionary:

"1. Any self-proclaiming anime fan who alienates themselves from their own society and assimilate into the Japanese culture from which they know little-to-none about; using their so-called anime knowledge as a guide, which destined them to ultimate failure in assimilation. 2. A special breed of anime fans who put Japan on a pedestal and prefer them over any other countries in terms of multimedia, courtship, etc... (E.g. prefer Japanese/Asian spouses, prefer J-Pop music over American music, wanna live and die Japan, etc...) As far as anime goes, they know only little. For example, the average weeaboo knows only Americanized anime; preferred uncut with jap. audio and Eng. subs ( E.g. Naruto, DBZ, Bleach, Haruhi Suziyama, Lucky Star, etc...) and memorized every Japanese song from their favorite shows."

Now most people will skip that entire definition, and will label ALL anime fans as “Weeaboos”. Certainly my inbox is overrun with jealous hackers and anime otaku, calling me this word, and following it up with other gems like “fucktard, Sailor Whore, cunt” ect. In fact, Anonymous and Lulzsec have both claimed ownership of the name, ever since they took over 4chan.

Otaku, once being a Japanese word that either meant “House/Home” (Random House dictionary of 1998) or “anime/manga fan” now means “Creepy adult who spends all of their time editing Wikia and making out with their Vocaloid pillows”. They are also considered to be creepy people who stalk you in the bushes.

Fanboys/girls used to be considered sci-fi know-it-alls and those who live in their parents’ basements, but they are now being classified as psychopaths.

When the hell did this start?

When did it become “okay” to harass people online, and call them by these names? When did it become okay to stab people at a convention, just because you disagree on an anime character? At what point did everyone agree to start drinking lead cups of mercury?

I’d like to walk into a comic book store or a convention plaza, without being labeled a nutcase, just because I chose ~ for ONE day in my life ~ to wear a Sailormoon t-shirt. Seriously, is it too much to ask? Or how about an entire YEAR of an inbox free of hateful emails, of screwed up accounts. I’d really like an extra day of NOT having to file my 100th report, just because someone in their 30’s isn’t grown enough to handle a 3 minute video.

If I could ask just something out of sci-fi and anime fans, it would be for all of them to chill the hell out. You’re not devils, you’re not animals, you’re human beings. Act like it. Use manners, GOOD ones, act as though you actually give a shit what people think of you.

And for the love of God stop using the word “Weeaboo”.

Honestly if you’re going to waste time insulting someone, at least take pride in it. Use a word that sounds like you took the time to add consonants, so you don’t sound like the drooling moron you make yourself out to be when you’re stalking otaku on DeviantArt.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Deck the Halls.. if you dare.

I can't make this up.

So I just popped on the ABC 7 News, and they had an interesting story. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. This goes double for all the old-school friends I have.

Recently, a music teacher had a problem. She was teaching Christmas songs to a group of small children, getting them ready for an upcoming Christmas pageant.

All went well until she got to the old song "Deck The Halls".

Now the moment the lyric "Don we now our gay apparel" came up, several of the 5 and 6 year olds began snickering. The snickering students then explained to the rest of the classroom what "Gay" means, and soon there were 30+ snickering 5 and 6 year olds.

The teacher panicked, and threw a conniption fit.

She then went to the principal and the school board, and together they made a new song sheet.

Rather than explain to the kindergartners that back when the song was written, "Gay" was a slang term for "Happy" they instead decided to change the lyric to "Don we now a bright apparel".

Now the parents of the snickering students are split in half.

Half of the parents like the choice, and have already told their children that it's not ok to snicker at the word "Gay". These parents have since apologized on their children's behalf for offending anyone.

The other half say that changing the song is "blasphemy" and that the school needs to change the lyric back "immediately" and restore the "sanctity" of the song.

.... Your thoughts?

Monday, December 5, 2011

That is NOT me. (Updated March 27, 2012)

UPDATE: The following has been corrected with updated information. It should be noted that the people at Anonymous and Lulzsec also have fanboys who pose as them online. All of the below listed names are people posing as Anons. They are not. Nor are they very bright. Read on.

For the second time in less than a month, my Facebook has been compromised by a group of individuals with no actual lives.

This all started a while back on the Wrestling Roundtable Facebook group. I had posted a video of Colt Cabana, and someone named Rick Chavez decided I was public enemy #1 for posting it. He started lying about Colt, calling him a cyberbully and called him a bunch of names. I lashed out and reported him.

Same day his friends were tagging wrestlers in Gay Porn photos online. I blew the whistle on all of them.

So now they have made a FAKE account, complete with pornography and photoshopped images of me, where they claim "I" am the one doing this evil thing, when clearly I am not.

This account is NOT me:

Kevin Armstrong:

Clearly they are run by people with no actual reason to keep living.

Who else would want to stalk me and pretend to be me? Honestly.

UPDATE: There's more: Seriously? You must have nothing to live for if you're after me. Thanks for showing the world why your existence doesn't matter. They even brag about sockpuppeting as me here: At the ED hate page about me. I apologize for how evil this sounds, but I wish that all these hackers would have their hands cut off and fed to them. I also think their bodies should be sold to science, while they're still alive.

Also, the above mentioned Mr. Bad News Julius Stein left this for me 5 minutes after this was posted. Wait 5 minutes? How could he have known I said so much as "Boo" about him unless *GASP* I'm right and he really IS stalking me, of course! Well here's what he said:


This is also NOT me: It's the same waste of life from before. Apparently he (yeah, I said HE) doesn't know that 7 comes AFTER 6.

The following is a list of people I have blocked. Most of the names listed are of people who are stalking me and have been trying to hack me, pose as me, or who have posted hate sites/videos about me:

Joe Bosolt
Darin Urbine
Opie Taylor
Julius Stein
Zachary Lim
Tommy Anderson
Tanami Browne
Ryan Barr
Alan Cynoh
Joe Rinaldi
Nathan Hansberry
Matthew Lee Massie
Joyce Massie
Sean Beaulieu
Diego Suárez Delgado
Mike Grimes
Hyabusa Takashi
Nena Bella
Aryaman Saha
Frank Rodriguez
Matthew Moulton
Neko Sasha Arc
Duane Mcallen
Michael Poore
Ariel Puffball Thomas
Brad Connor
James Sandstrom
Lamario Pernell Carter
Art Donovan
Matthew Lee Massie
Sarah Borash
Ron Augustine
Emmanuel Pierre
Matthew Lee Massie
Ernie Lucas
Emily Blackmore
Phil Shockley
Lavernius Carter
Lily Andrews
Selma Zulrushdi
Erika Caffrey
Traci Butler
Sarah Aiken
Tausin Sarie
Lissy Pliner
Chris Mahoney
Alicia Sierka
Lou Reed
Joanna Lawrence
Ramon Panis
Caitlin Cuevas
Dontrell Eternity Jefferson
Kimberleeighlovessteven Plumb-Chambers
Zalgo Tanasinn
Meep Sheep (Stalker who runs the hate site on ED.)
Jed Kendall
Sailor Beech (Stalker who runs the hate site on ED.)
Taylor Cloud
Tufic Aloysius Napke
Lily-Mae Albarn
Gerald Arthur Sandusky
Nikko Paleothodoros
Amy Johnson
Duane M McAllen

There is also a SECOND profile that was caught posing as me., run by the above.

UPDATE: One more ED stalker:

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Does Charles "Nyan" or "Meow"?

My parents are separated. I feel obligated to open every story about my father with that line.

So my father just got back into his apartment in my basement, looking rather disheveled. He claims that he just got back from an “emergency” trip to Target… for cat food.

Now for the record, nobody in my local bloodwork owns a cat. In fact, I am severely allergic to short hairs and “Garfield” style cats, so a feline is out of the question here.

Ergo, one must surmise that my father was buying cat food for his girlfriend, and this would be correct. So this is the tale he told me about this late night excursion.

Now if you were a fan of my MySpace blogs between 2009 and 2010, then you already know about her. But for those of you just joining the party here on Blogger, let me catch you up.

My father began asking my mother to help him pay for coffee for his girl “Maryse” in 2009. “Maryse” is 39 years old, huge Twilight fan, has a teenaged son who is her personal slave, has more than two boyfriends (One of whom is serving a decently sized sentence for touching a 13 year old) and is an ex-French teacher for children … who “LEIK TOTALLY CAN’T UM UNDERSTAAAAND WHYLEIK THE SCHOOL LEIK TOATALLY WANTED TO FIER HER AND STUFF? LEIK WOW WHAT’S GOING ON MAAAN?” Can you imagine this bitch trying to speak French? “LEIK BONJUUUR COMOTALLYVIEU??” I should point out her nasal, wing bar waitress voice. Also, she is an ex-cheerleader.

So now that you know who Maryse is, let me tell you why she needed cat food.

A while ago, Maryse went to Japan. There, in a city outside of Harajuku, she went down a dark alley.

There, she found a one-eyed cat, marching between two boxes….

I want you to hold onto that image of the cat marching for just a bit.

Maryse found the cat to be so attractive, that she snatched the cat up, and ran back to the airport.

She paid $500 to have the cat sent to the US.

… No, God forbid she spend that kind of money on a local US shelter cat, where she would know ahead of time if the cat belonged to anybody, naaaaaaah why risk it? Sure, let’s plunk down Fie-Hundred-Dollaz on a random stray, and not even bother to check if he belongs to someone, is sick or has been neutered.

So $500 later, the cat is now on United States soil. She named him “Charles”. (No really, that’s his name.)

Now Charles is a black and white cat… but his patches aren’t exactly what you would expect.

Charles has one patch over his missing eye, in the shape of an Emo haircut…

The other black patch is small, box-like, and stationed under his pink nose.

This is Charles, photo taken right after he had his shots. Assumed age at the time thi photo was taken: Barely one year.


Once more, Charles loves to march.

And in case you are wondering, this Japanese cat has yet to “Nyan”. However, when he hacks up a fur ball, he has a nasty habit of dry-heave coughing “HIEL mew HIEL”