Friday, March 8, 2013

Don't accept this from big business.

Why do we allow this nonsense?

Why do we nod our heads and accept businesses toying with our right to work?

Why do we blindly accept, that while every job out there requires multiple degrees and years of servitude that is impossible to obtain, they in return don't even have to show us the common courtesy of a phone call?

You want me to give up my personal accounts, let you into my personal off-the-clock life, you want me to have extra degrees, extra experience, a lengthy resume ~ yet you don't want me to have had more than three jobs in my entire life, send in a cover letter and forward by Morgan Freeman, yet because you have money, I'm supposed to accept and even like that you don't have the balls to call me back and hire me?


We wouldn't accept this out of our nation's children. So why accept it out of big business?

Here's a "job" listing I just got. I'll add my notes in bold blue as we go along:

AT&T Consultant - Professional Services 3 
AT&T - Chicago, IL (Greater Chicago Area) 

Job Description

AT&T Consulting Solutions
Microsoft Unified Communications Architect (That's a buzz term meaning "Customer Service".)

General Qualifications

A seasoned and strategic thought leader in large scale multi-vendor Unified Communications (UC) solutions. Require full life cycle architecture, design and deployment expertise.

Role Overview

Engage in key engagements (Engage in engagements? As opposed to what, engaging in on engagements? Of serious? I'm supposed to accept a grammar error that BIG in the opening line, just because AT&T is a company? Bullshit!

and lead teams in the delivery of AT&T Consulting UC service portfolio (No period, or other way to end or otherwise convert the sentence. "Delivery of consulting" again means "Customer Service")

Ability to manage and exceed client expectations for delivery (Be here before we need you, do more than what we ask you to.) including facilitated meetings, whiteboard sessions, presentations, deliverables and weekly communications with client and engagement managers on status and health of the projects. (Missing commas. More fancy buzzwords that mean "Show up to meetings" and "Customer service". A chimp can be trained to do the same thing.)

Strong business acumen and strategic customer interaction, including workshops and Strategy and Roadmap deliverables is key. (Where do I start on the grammatical errors with this? "Road" and "Map" for starters are two different words.)

Deliver and lead strategy, readiness (deliver readiness? What is that? Deliver readiness, like "Hi ♥ I brought your desire to work today ~ it's cherry flavored!") and other assessments, architecture and complex multi-vendor integration services. (I'm to deliver architecture? Ah don't we hire an architect for that?? That's like saying "I need you to deliver surgery!" Sorry, but I'm not a surgeon.)

Support Unified Communications Practice initiatives as a collaborative team. (This is a SOLO application. You are not asking for a team, you are asking for ONE person only.)

Foster the development of standardized templates and Knowledge Management artifacts (Knowledge artifacts, apparently I am to develop ancient knowledge artifacts. Let that seep in a minute.

 to improve field self-sufficiency. (Now you want me to improve self sufficiency? Which is it? Are we a team or individual??)

Education and Certifications

Hands-on experience in UC on large, complex, and multi-vendor environments. (In person Customer Service.)
15+ years industry experience and 5 years experience in Microsoft Technologies Consulting.(By this math, the applicant should be 35+ ~ but you know they really want someone fresh out of college.)
Strategic IT Consulting experience. (Customer service.)
Bachelors Degree or Equivalent. (For customer service.)
Industry certifications applicable to UC.
Microsoft UC Voice Specialization
Microsoft Certified Master and/or Microsoft Certified Architect (desired) 

Business and Technical Skills

Microsoft OCS R2 and Lync 2010 architecture, design and deployment expertise
Participate in Voice Partner Program, TAP and other Microsoft Programs
OCS R2/Lync 2010 Architecture, Design and Integration experience
Multi-vendor integration with:
TDM to IP based voice solutions, including Cisco, Avaya, Siemens
Conferencing Solutions such as Tandberg and Polycom
Voice and messaging integration with Microsoft OCS and Lync
Unified Messaging experience with Microsoft, Avaya and Cisco solutions.
Deployment experience with media gateway including AudioCodes, Net Quintum and Dialogic
SIP Trunking (That's alot of crap for customer service. 3 quarters of this you won't use while on the job, they just want you to have it.)
Customer use case scenarios
Data center network re-engineering
Internet access engineering
WAN acceleration and content distribution
QoS, Multicast, IP traffic engineering (desired)
Outstanding written and verbal communications skills with experience in VP and CxO level interaction and facilitation of diverse groups and stakeholders. (Have good grammar, be polite and speak well.)
Ability to travel up to 75%. (You will spend 6 days a week on the road.)
Distinguished interpersonal skills and responsiveness supporting customers (Have good grammar, be fast, polite and speak well.)
Ability and wiliness to assist sales and field management in expanding and development of new business opportunities (Be willing to do everyone else's job, plus yours.)

Company Description

The largest communications company in the United States. And the world. We are the industry leaders in providing wireless service, high speed internet access, local and long distance voice, and directory publishing and advertising services across the US. We are also developing our business to include next-generation television services with our new AT&T U-VerseSM TV. (Any customer of AT&T can tell you this is utter bullshit.)

Join our incredibly diverse company of more than 250,000 people and help drive the innovation that keeps AT&T at the leading edge of technology and service. (When a company says they are diverse, that means they have 3-5 Black people per building unit, and they outsource to Brazil, Malaysia and Taiwan.)

Expect big things from the company that created the communications industry. AT&T (Expect it, but of course they won't deliver.)

Additional Information

Posted: March 2, 2013 
Type: Full-time 
Experience: Not Applicable 
Functions: General Business, Business Development, Research 
Industries: Information Technology and Services, Telecommunications, Wireless 
Employer Job ID: 1232284
Job ID: 4518331

Translation: We want 15+ years of experience, and for you to meet these requirements, but IF you do, we're gonna tell you you're "over-qualified" and then hire some kid in Brazil instead.

So they want you to meet all of these requirements, work above and beyond your job, work crazy hours, and yet they don't even have the manners to correct the grammar?

Lesson here, don't accept BS based on who has what money. We're Americans, let's act like it.

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