Friday, November 23, 2012

Christmas is April 17th ~ A short history of Christmas Folklore

Every year, usually right before Thanksgiving, some angry Santa-hater starts posting spam photos on Facebook, 10-15 minute long videos on YouTube ~ complete with outdated and incorrect information ~ and of course, when an innocent passer-by dares to say "Happy Holidays" this person will belittle them in the most loud and boisterous way possible.

When it's brought to their attention that they're acting like a regular scrooge, they hide behind one excuse:



"I'm trying to put CHRIST back in CHRIST-mas!!"

I always find amusement in the bah-humbuggery, because not a single one of these people seem to know how un-Jesus like they're acting.

For those who don't believe, Jesus was said to have been easy going, un-hating and if you read Matthew 21:12, was actually against the church.

I also take amusement in finding out how many hate the term "Happy Holidays".

Oh have you heard the whining before?

"Most REAL 'Mericans Celebrate CHRISTMAS. You should too or GET OUT OF MAH CUNTRY"

First of all, it's MY country. I'm part Native American. If you're going to spread hate, I'd rather you move.

Second, Jesus would never wan you to turn people out of any country, based on belief. He was a person who believed in the phrase "Love thy Neighbor" not "Get offa mah property".

Third, Jesus was a Jew who was known as "Jesus of Nazareth" which is located in Israel, a country in Asia. It's more likely he would celebrate Hanukkah, and likely wouldn't turn his nose up at Kwanzaa, as that holiday is said to celebrate Unity. Last time I looked at a map, Israel and Asia were both as far from America as you can possibly get.

Fourth, it's "America". Not "Merica". Learn to say my country's name right.

And yet most of my issues with this form of Yuletide Christmas Bullying fall onto deaf ears. Look, I may not be a very religious person, but even I read the 10 commandments, specifically the part with "Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, nor any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above". That specifically outlines pictures and statues of God, Jesus, Mary and the rest of His family. So you may want to think twice next time you try to spam Facebook with images of Jesus, it's kind of a sin.

December 25th has never truthfully been a day for religion at all. It origins are much more earthly and dare I say Pagan than what the average church follower believes, and actually putting the name of Jesus onto the full version of the holiday, might be a form of disrespect, rather than celebration.

Back in 2002, The History Channel ran a fascinating documentary called The Research of Holy Night, it was a great show and I'm sorry it isn't aired more often. If you can find a DVD I suggest giving it a try.

In the documentary, scientists, historians and astronomers all compared the writings of the Bible to world history and the alignment of the stars. Dr. Michael R. Molnar was able to locate the fabled Star of Bethlehem, and found that the exact date of Jesus's birth is really April 17th, 6 B.C. It's a no brainer when you read the New Testament. Sheep herders would not have been outside in December, but they would have been sleeping under the stars with the sheep around April. Also, there are clues in the book, alluding to the notion that the date of his birth is also close to what we now call Easter. A decent write up on this is located here.

Now what we call Christianity didn't actually start up until after The Resurrection, with it starting as an off-shoot branch of Judaism. (Remember, Jesus was a Jew, not a Christian.) The term "Christians" used to be a slang term for essentially the fans of Jesus. Most Romans used this more as a slur than a description.

Well not long after Christianity started looking less like a slang term and more like a cult/religion, Romans started offing them left and right. It was made clear that they would be targeted, even during holidays. So what could be done?

Simple, hide the holidays.

Easter and Good Friday (Why is it good? Jesus was MURDERED that day, that's not good at all!) were easy. They were hidden during Spring Solstice, which is a celebration of birth and rebirth. The flowers that had died off during Autumn and Winter seem to "spring back" to life, new plants sprout, and it's also a favorable mating season for many animals. Images of baby bunnies and chicks are often a good sign of fertility and renewal, so it was easy to hide the festivities of Jesus's rebirth here.

BUT they opted not to add in his birthday, otherwise the Romans could have figured out what they were doing. So, they decided to celebrate the birth of Jesus by pushing his birthday to December 25th.

December 25th is the biggest, baddest, mamma-jamma party day of the year, smack in the middle of Winter Solstice. It was a time celebrated with heavy drinking, gifts and general goofing off. Picture the world's biggest frat party. The Christians decided that there was no better way to celebrate Jesus than with the biggest feast of them all. So this was a natural choice.

It was supposed to be TEMPORARY.

But by the time that it was no longer a punishable-by-death offence to be a Christian in Rome, the descendants of these early Christians had forgotten when the actual date of Jesus's birth was. Re-checking their older scriptures did not prompt them to even try and push the date back to even the right month, instead opting to leave it where it was. Because you know... it's tradition.

Yes, tradition. To celebrate the birthday of the person they love most on the WRONG day, during the WRONG month, during the WRONG season. And in the middle of Winter Solstice, the most biggest, Pagan holiday of the year. Christians decided this. Ah... what?

Winter Solstice itself has had a changing in it's meaning. At first it was just a celebration of the onset of Winter and the upcoming change in the calendar. Some would add in an extra feast in honor of a God or spirit, but these traditions vary by area, and for the most part, it was a holiday devoid of modern day religion.

 Now in 270 a.d. was born a wonderful man named Nikolaos. During his 73 years of life, he did many good deeds just because he felt like it, and after death was made into a saint. A few hundred years later, people began seeing images of him once more doing good deeds, and eventually the legend of him leaving treats for good children on December 5th-into-6th spread. It is now a holiday. In some areas of the world however, people do not believe this is the same man, and instead refer to the December 6th trinket-leaver as Sinterklaas.

Saint Nicholas/Sinterklaas is NOT Santa Claus!!

Another holiday goof is the notion that Saint Nicholas and Santa are one and the same. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Saint Nicholas was over 6 feet tall and quite skinny. Santa is a short elf.

In 1773, people began claiming they had seen a rotund gift giver, also answering to the name Sinterklaas. But by 1803 this name was re-printed in newspapers as Santa Claus.

Santa was originally described as an elf, just a few inches tall, riding a turkey. Over the years, it changed to a 4-6 foot tall, chubby elf, traveling with reindeer. It wasn't until 1821 however, that the elf began leaving presents for children. But the reason for this isn't as merry as you've been told.

Winter Solstice by this point was a quiet, somber (and sometimes outlawed) time, to give thanks for still having children. Kids in the pre-20th Century world didn't always live past 10. A family could start the year with 6-7 kids, and then end the year with just 1-2. Disease, abuse, child labor, these were all things that often times shortened the lifespan of children ~ especially in the United States. So by Christmastime, parents were often finding joy in still being "Mom and Dad".

What better way is there to celebrate a child than by giving him toys?

While some Christians toiled over the notion that Santa Claus was now a part of the holiday they made up, other Christians welcomed him, claiming that the gift giving was synonymous with the Three Wise Men giving gifts to Mary for baby Jesus.

Again, a misnomer. While the Wise Men did give gifts, they were NOT to celebrate baby Jesus's birth. They were given in preparation for Jesus's early death, a future the Wise Men had a premonition about, long before finding the boy.

Gold: This was given to help pay for a final resting place.
Frankincense and Myrrh: Embalming preservatives that are known to dry out the body after death.

These were not gifts of merriment. The reminder of this part of the Bible was not a welcome one back then for most parents.

Another gift that is spoken of (but also not really a gift) is the fruit cake. While today it is baked and given during Christmastime, it's really just a convenient way to make the fruit last through the winter. Picture a lightly sweet cake-casserole, but with the consistency of a cold brick. Again, there is no basis in religion for it, it's just a really thick mass.

Eggnog also has no religious background, but a non-alcoholic version goes great over ice cream!

The Yule Log was originally just a large piece of tree, that was burned in thanks to the universe for all that was received during the year. It started as a Winter Solstice tradition, and morphed into another ritual for Christmas.

Mistletoe (a known poison and parasitic plant) also has no modern-day religious ties. It's just a plant people kiss under.

Then there's the Christmas Tree:
At first, the holiday tree, garlands and wreaths, were all symbols of eternal life. In some areas of the world, it was used as a device to scare off demonic spirits. Then in the 14th and 15th centuries, the tree was decorated with apples and wafers on December 24th. This was to commemorate the tale of Adam, Eve and the Tree of Life. The apples represented the forbidden fruit, and the wafers represented redemption. 

Off and on from 1444 until 1841, the tree was banned, brought back, banned and brought back again, all over the world. In 1841, Queen Victoria made the tree popular again, this time for good, but all of it's ties to Adam and Eve had been completely dropped, and it was known as the perfect centerpiece for Christmas presents, it's ties to Christianity's Christmas being more of a coincidence than an on-purpose item. Still, it provided the best spot for placing gifts. Only in Germany was it consistently a "Christmas" tree.

Traditionally, holidays based on events in the Bible were celebrated with just a very big meal, and usually this meal follows a period of fasting, though not all holidays have this period.

One curious Christmas tradition however is the Christmas Ham. 

Jesus was not only a Jew, he was the king thereof. Ergo he would have stuck to a Kosher diet.

Now it does state somewhere in the New Testament that all sins are absolved through Him, but this is a passage that generally is spotted AFTER his murder. Prior to this, he would have had to access to ham or any reason to eat it, as most of the places where he was spotted had people living in them that also stuck to a Kosher diet.

Much of what we call Christmas only has Christ in the title. The actual Jesus aspect of it is celebrated on the wrong day, and any notion that December 25th should be a day of religion, is at best a misunderstanding of old traditions, and at worst sacrilege. (And often a topic of issue for believers.)

Why did I say sacrilege? Simple. Not only do we still have people celebrating on the wrong day, we also celebrate it in the current millennium with corporate greed, and gifts so expensive, people are willing to kill each other for them. 

I'm not a very religious person, but I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't want you to punch a woman over a smart phone. I'm also certain he'd take issue with corporations overworking and underpaying children in China, just so you can have that cute little $600 piece of plastic. And on a similar note, I'm certain that Saint Nick ~ being the patron saint of children ~ would also take umbrage at that.

So if you're serious about putting Christ back into Christmas, you need to start celebrating Christmas on April 17th. Have December 25th return to being a Winter Solstice, Santa-driven sleigh-ride of presents type of holiday, and you can return the proper Christmas in April, into being what it should have been all along.

A quiet dinner in Spring.
Share if you agree.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Little Shop ~ Little Shop(ping trip) of HORRORS ♫

If you can read this, and you are still at home, wondering if you should venture out for Black Friday...

*Shakes violently* FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY WITH CAT PISS, STAY YO' ASS AT HOME!!

We have the internet for cripes sakes!! Swallow your shipping pride and do it at home. Trust me when I say THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD WORTH SHOPPING BLACK FRIDAY!!

As I type this, I'm looking at a photo Johnny Gargano posted from inside a dangerous Wal*Mart:
Now you may see this picture, and just think "WOW! Maybe the economy is looking up? Look how many people are shopping like it's the end of the world."

But to veteran shoppers, it's a shell shock of a reminder of Xmas past.

Recently, I wrote about the first, last and only Black Friday I ever worked in retail. If you are out there working through the holiday pre-weekend right now, you have my respect. I don't wish that barbaric warfare on anyone. Not even the future workers for the Wal*Mart that may stand where my house is. Nope, not even them. If you ever want to know what savage, guerrilla combat feels like, 'tis the season.

The biggest problem are these stores never ordering enough merchandise to meet the mass hysteria. If I owned a Wal*Mart, and had the same amount of cash CEO Michael Duke has in his swimming pool, I'd line the damn store in Nintendos and TV sets. Screw the sweatpants kiosk! I'm ditching the canned beans shelf and just lining it with electronics and Elmos. (Too soon? Sorry...)

But this blog isn't about working on that fateful day, oh no. This is about shopping.

I once survived a series of Black Fridays ~ most of them in the SAME YEAR. If that thought alone doesn't terrify you, wait, it gets better.

Now coming into this world, I remember seeing bootleg tapes of the Cabbage Patch massacre of 1983. The tapes I think belonged to my mom's ex-co-worker. I wasn't born until 86, but I have seen the footage. Moms ripping the dolls from children's hands, dads punching moms, cars being tipped over, it was a frightening sight! But watching these tapes prepared me for the 1990's and beyond.

The early and mid 90's shopping seasons were bizarre. Power Rangers fever hit the nation, but God forbid should a Bradlee's bother to stock the damn things. Perish the thought. They'd order ONE box of eight, and then act all surprised when 30 parents come in, wanting a Green Ranger. I learned how to climb carts and ride as a human shield in the winter of 1994. Yeah, call me crazy, but I still have a plush White Ranger. What'chu got? Exactly.

But then in 1996 came a toy that could have started a civil war:
Now granted, my brother (then 4) wasn't really into Sesame Street, so he didn't seem to notice the doll. We were spared. But many parents would fight in the streets over the doll. I remember once just barely getting my brother to safety, when two people were threatening to club each other to death for that and a handful of Beanie Babies.

UGH... Beanie Babies. Don't get me started. ><

Well one such day, I went to a K-Mart with my mom and brother, and there, hidden in the spots department, was a shelf full of Tickle Me Elmos. I guess the staff had hidden the dolls from plain sight, hoping to take a few home for themselves.

Now I did something I probably shouldn't have. And karma does have a way of catching up to you... but I couldn't resist.

I pushed the shelf back into view, and then secretly activated ALL of the dolls.

I darted behind an aisle, just as a mom with a toddler walked up.

"Look honey! It's Tickle Me Elmo! And the mean old shop keepers said they were out."

No sooner did she lift her hand did ALL of the motion sensors go off.

HA HA HEE HEE HA HA HEE HEE HA HA HEE HEE

The little girl started crying. The mom grabbed her, screamed "DEMON DOLLY" and ran for her life. Mama and I spent the day activating all of the dolls, and waiting for people to freak out. By the 5th or 6th time though, all the batteries started to die, and Elmo's baby-like voice, morphed into a deep, demonic "MWA HA HEE HEEEEE HAAAAA HAAAA HEEE HEEEEEE" sound.

Now it's naughty, but I still do this. I've actually been thanked by parents who are looking for ways to ween their kids off of the latest trends. Two years ago, a dad shook my hand after I set off an electronic Mickey doll. The dad got to see first hand that it was too loud and that it wouldn't last. After 2-3 times the doll was set off, it keeled over, rammed it's hand up and down over it's pants and just screamed "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" before sparking and setting off a Target alarm. Needless to say, that father bought his daughter a quiet Lego set, instead of Mickey.

Karma did strike me a few years ago, when Hokey Pokey Elmo debuted. I set one of them off, and he dove off the side of the shelf. Feeling a little guilty, I knelt down to pick him back up.

Suddenly, the doll rolled, propping his feet against a display shelf. He started following me, and I must say the motion sensor was quite strong on this one. "ELMO WANTS TO KNOW WHERE YOU GOING??" screamed the plush as he chased me down the aisle.

But perhaps the worst Black Friday would be the Black Friday of 2000. EVERY Friday from the week before Thanksgiving until the week of Christmas was Black Friday, and I still have the wounds.

Every Sailormoon doll I own from 1999-2001 is like a tiny badge of honor. Anybody saying that this was an unpopular show with a niche audience, probably never lived in Chicagoland. I was beaten every week by little old ladies with canes, little girls with reflexes like spider monkeys and hostile psycho bitches wielding pepper spray ~ which until 2000 I thought was a salad topping. I didn't used to need reading glasses!!
This is my 12 inch Tuxedo Mask doll. He sits proudly on a shelf, less like an anime action figure and more like a trophy.

On the third Black Friday of 2000, I found him sitting way back on the shelf, the final Tuxedo Mask in the world at this point. Chibiusa's father had sold out at every other store in the world, including online stores, and there were plenty of photos of crazy bitches online, posing with him as if to say "Sailor Moon ain't got nothin' on ME" (If that scares you... GOOD.)

I had him in the cart. The K-Mart appeared empty. Mom turned her back for a split second, just to price an action figure for my brother.

Suddenly, out of the clear blue sky pops a woman that would make Madea seem as innocent as a kitten. She reaches into the cart, and grabs at Tuxedo Mask.

I slapped her hand out of the cart, and reached inside to secure him.

"I wantz that Tuxedo Mask doll. You don' need no damn doll. Ain't you too damn old to be liking DOLLS??" Chides Sharquella of the damned. (I wouldn't know her name, except it was sticking out from a tag she had in her purse.)

"Ain't YOU too old to be snatching dolls up outta other people's carts???" I snapped back.

She sunk her claws into my shoulder. I started bleeding.

"Gimmie dat doll!!" She bellowed. I refused to budge.

Mama whipped around with security, asking this woman to kindly remove her claws from my shoulder. Wanna know what Sharquella says?

"Aw c'mon now, y'all know I'm jus playin' right?" Just playing. Yeah. While my shoulder is spurting.

I may have a scar on my shoulder, but I still have Tuxedo Mask.

But I didn't have the chance to heal up from this battle wound. Just two weeks later, we had to go to the mall. I'm not kidding here when I say my DAD wanted a necklace and a tiara for Christmas. The only places back then that had them cheap were all in the mall.

Well most of the day seemed alright, if not unusually quiet. This was my brother's first Black Friday since his medication had stabilized, so we were going to celebrate his ability to walk again with a short trip to KB Toys. Ah KB. How I miss thee. Bah Humbug, Gnats, Nerts and a hardy and robust Fuck You with a frozen pineapple to Bain Capital for killing one of the greatest stores since Marshal Fields. (Fuck Macy's.)

But the closer we got to KB, the louder the sound of thunder was. A few steps farther, and my eyes adjusted to a horrific sight.

Crammed in the store, where several large, angry soccer moms.

Now when I say large, I do not mean "HERPDEDERP DEY IS FAT" Nu-no.

I mean large as in Mark Henry. Just imagine a bunch of Mark Henry, only Caucasian, blonde and with really ugly Target clothes. (And yes, they were bearded.) These women could have easily bench-pressed an early 70's BMW... one handed.

Orion's eyes got HUGE. My mom pushed down his coat around his elbows and kissed each of his cheeks.

"Mama.... are we gonna die??" Orion asked, his voice going up a few octaves.

I stretched, pushed my own coat down and put Vaseline over my cheekbones. Mama motioned her right hand in the shape of the cross over her body.

"MAMA?!?!" Orion yelped.

"Remember the plan?" Mama nodded to me. "On your mark... get set... GO!!!"

Snatching Orion's hand, I ran as fast as I could, blowing right under a 7 foot pair of legs.

I leap up through the doll aisle, snatching a Hello Kitty and a Sailor Mars. Make a turn for the action figure aisle, snatching up a few Pokemon, chucking a few at Orion. "USE YOUR RIGHT!!" I yelled as he grabbed a few just in time. A twist past the wrestling display grants me a Chibi Road Dogg and Big Show roller set. Another twist and I'm in the plushie aisle, grabbing one more Pokemon, when suddenly-

"KORI KORI KORI SOMEONES GOT ME!!" Some psycho bitch had grabbed Orion's jacket and was screaming "GIVE ME JIGGLYPUFF AND NOBODY DIES!!" I punched the woman, but she wouldn't let go. "ORION DROP THE ARMS!!" His coat falls backwards, causing the woman to fall, taking three more with her. I double back for all the lost toys, using the coat as a make-shift bag. (Bless you recalled and choke-able drawstrings!) The I snatch Orion up and start blowing past the video games.

Mama is at the counter, having just fought off a woman over a Pikachu keychain. Greedy bitch had 7 of her own, and tried to steal from my Mama! Bitch you got 7 and they're all the SAME keychain!! Mama screams "I'M OPEN!!" while elbowing another mom aside.

I grabbed Orion by the shirt, feeling the mom I punched earlier reaching for my coat. I pushed a few toys into his arms and chucked him as hard as I could. "LIVE!!!"

Orion tumbled, rolled and hit's Mama's leg. "HERE!!!" He screams, handing up the toys.

I start chucking Pokemon at Mama. She's rolling the toys over the scanner herself, as the cashier is too busy trying not to pee herself as the other moms and dads started climbing the Nintendo display behind her.

I start running at top speed, the final toy in my hands. I leap up and slam dunk the doll onto the scanner as Mama whips out the check. We grab the bags and start running like mad.

"I WANT JIGGLYPUFF!! GIVE ME JIGGLYPUFF!!" Bellows a voice from behind me. I turn and there are 5 angry moms, gunning for us. A compact was chucked at my leg, this bitch was out for blood and a soft, pink Pokemon.

We loaded Orion's little arms down with bags, and then hoisted him up like a sling, running as fast as we could through the mall. Getting to the rental car, I hurled Orion into the backseat and locked him in. Mama and I got in and Mama slammed her foot on the pedal. As she was moving the shift into gear, the moms jumped the damn car!! I turn around as Orion is screaming "DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE!!!"

These women had on those super light blue, cosmetic contact lenses, which from a distance made their eyes look icy. But on the back of a windshield as one psycho bitch after another is trying to cut their way into the rental with their keys, it looks less alluring and more like zombie soccer moms trying to break in.

Mama gets the car moving. The zombie soccer moms start falling off after a few miles, still screaming
"I WANT JIGGLYPUFF!!!"

Once home, my mother and I made a vow. Never again. I now do my shopping online, S&H be damned.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Not call myself Codename? What other name would suit me?

(The title is taken from my favorite Rankin/Bass special, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town.)

February 18, 2005, I was uploading the last of my newest website Moon Sisters to my old AOL Hometown account. But I had a small issue. What will be my pen name?


Back then, if you ran a Sailormoon page, the trend was that you would make up a picture of yourself, post it to the front or about pages, and have a nickname. It was also a trend to make up your own Sailor Senshi and back story. It's simple, harmless goofing off that really doesn't mean anything.

For years, I had the pen name "Sailor Earth" but there are over 104,224 other Sailor Earths in the world, and I was sick of the hate mail from this one 600 lbs. male, who complained that his skirt was prettier than mine. (It was the same. But with glitter. He's in prison now.)

Well I had already made this .gif image, and I didn't feel up to making a new one. So I thought, what can I do for a pen name, at least temporarily?

While uploading the site, I did a Google search so I could find more links for the link page. And that's when it hit me.
Sailormoon is actually a spin-off from the series Codename Sailor V, a series that follows Sailor Venus one year before she meets the rest of the cast. At the time, the books were not in English, but I told myself every day that one day, I'd read the whole series. (I now have multiple copies.) I just couldn't get over how cool she looks with those glasses.

And that's when it hit me. Codename!! I'll just add that to my pen-name. Nobody else in the whole world has it, so now it's mine.

I had a year of hate emails and people trying to rip from my page, but after that quelled, I had peace. I even befriended other "Sailor Earths" online, and for a while, some of us would joke in the role play forums that we were like the Green Lanterns of Sailor Senshi. Harmless fun.

But then in 2008, I noticed that YouTube was hyper taking down every third video I posted. At first I thought "Copyright BS" until I noticed that the names didn't add up. There were people posing as Warner employees, trying to take videos that have NO Warner Brothers content in them, at all!

Then in 2011, I was hyper trolled. I had all kinds of total strangers stalking me, harassing me, going after my family, posting hate about me, hacking me, every day was a nightmare, and I really didn't want to keep living. What the hell was going on?

But there's no better way to piss people off than to keep living and posting. So I did.

I also started a few other YouTube channels under different titles.

... And then something weird happened.

But the other channels *knock on wood* seem to be doing alright. Even the channel for my Sailormoon page is getting warm, positive comments. The channel with my actual name on it hardly gets any attention, but when it does, it's positive.

Everyone knows it's me on all of them, I don't hide that I own them, but only my Codename Sailor Earth channels have these wackos piling out from the woodwork. The rest are doing alright.

Every YouTube channel I've had under the "Codename Sailor Earth" moniker has had problems with trolling and people trying to put fake claims on MY videos. 

NONE of these freaks are Sailormoon fans, mind you. Most aren't even anime fans anymore. Not once do I see more than two Sailormoon fans going ape shit over it.

They're all ages 18-35, and feel the need to harass me and go nuts. Most of them aren't even into the things I like/post about. But they're quick to tell me all the ways they want to "expose" me and how they would want me to die. Not one of them are kids these days, it's split 60/40 men vs. women and most of them have been to college. The ones not harassing me are trying to take credit for videos I've made myself.

I've seen other people take on the "Sailor Earth" name with zero trolling. So what is it about the word "Codename" that sets people off?

Monday, November 19, 2012

RIP Charles DeHitler Cat... or run for your life, whichever.

The lawyer called today. My folks go in for another hearing on both the house and their divorce next week. The call could not have come at a better time, in fact I'm thinking of sending the whole office a lovely holiday card this year. That's how happy I was to hear the phrase "to talk about the divorce".

Mama is happy. She is 99.99% divorced and is re-reading The Secret.

My dad is... well I can guess he's happy. He seems to be laughing. A whole lot. About his girlfriend, Maryse.

Oh wait... maybe that's not a good thing? Ho boy.

"Maryse" as you may recall, is a 39 year old ex-children's-French teacher who "totally talks leik this and stuff, like OMG a wing bar waitress and junk" she's a Twilight fan and she is bat-shit crazy. The last time I talked about her she was trying to put a hex and a curse on my father, because he has gout. She thought she was a witch. 

Now, when I say witch, I don't mean "respectable follower of Wicca" oh no. I mean the stereotypical "And yer little dog TOO" type.

Keep in mind, she has already bred. She has a teenage son and a granddaughter.

Well since my last blog, Chicago Public Schools have re-hired her. Now "she leik totally OMG" tries to teach French and "proper thinking" to children 10 and under. Proper thinking you ask? Why yes. This loon actually believes that the book "Freakonomics" is a curriculum. I am not kidding. She even made my dad watch the movie version on repeat ~ for 10 hours straight ~ while he was hyped up on medication and wine. She said that wine would be a good mix for his medication. I'm thinking she is trying to kill him.

I actually bumped into her while shopping a month after the last blog was posted. Since she doesn't know I have a blog, I didn't see the need to tell her about it. I don't even use her real name, after all. I shook her cold, zombie hand and wished her the best with my dad.

Well in her book, saying "It's great to see you, I hope you and Dad are doing well" is (her words) German for "I hope you fall into a well and drown in rust water". Yeah, she thought it was German code.

She also claims that every friend I have ever had is a lie, my relatives are figments of my imagination, my blogs and websites don't exist and I'm somehow trying to mooch in on my father's "wealth". 

For the record, my father is uninsured and unemployed. He blew through the $10 an hour job money he had left quite a while ago, and now is a freelancer making less than minimum wage. He has all the pension of a ham sandwich. Exactly WHAT the hell fortune do you think he has, crazy lady??

She also claims that being a witch is boring her, so now she wants to be a Buddhist. Unfortunately, this psycho believes that reading books about Lao-tzu is the path to enlightenment, so I don't think she understands what being a Buddhist means. 

But recently, my house got a 2 a.m. phone-call. My father was relaying some very troubling news.

For several weeks in a row, Maryse was threatening to kill herself, and then come back as a poltergeist and kill him too. Then she decided not to kill herself, but instead threatened to will him into being deathly sick, cure him, make him sick again, and then magically have his gout kill him, so he can be reborn as a Black man, as punishment for having gout. 

If you read my last blog, you already know this is NOT the first time the racist psycho has done this.

So rather than just say "BYE BITCH" and hang up the phone, my idiot father actually went over to her house. Why that sounds so safe, doesn't it? Walking alone in the dark in the middle of the night, to the house of a crazy person threatening to kill you via mind-rays (again, her words not mine) and make you come back as a racial minority she hates. Sure, fine, go ahead. Totally alright.

So upon entry, he sees her caressing a broken pitcher.

Let me stop here and explain the pitcher. If you read my last blog about Maryse, then you know she takes my dad to garage sales all over the place. Well after I wrote that blog, he bought her a 1950's, mass manufactured pitcher for $1. This is the type of pitcher you find at the Goodwill, all over the store. There are literally millions of these things, and odds are good that if it's being sold at $1, it ain't that precious.

Well the pitcher is made of old glass. She put piping hot tea into the old, frail glass.

The old, frail, glass pitcher broke.

She thinks it's my dad fault for liking tea so much. If he didn't like tea, she wouldn't have had to make the tea and put it into the most frail, piece of glass possible. Never mind that he wasn't even in her house and never asked her for tea, oh no. By liking it, she must make it, and so it is his fault.

So there she is, caressing the shards of glass and weeping. He asks her what the problem is.

It's Charles.

I last blogged about Charles last year. For those who don't know, Charles is a stray cat that Maryse adopted... from Japan. She legit paid $500 to have the alley stray shipped from Japan to America. Only, she didn't adopt Charles legally. She just found him haphazardly in an alley, goosestepping between two boxes. She didn't bother to check if he had an owner. That's not even half of the problem. This is Charles:
A one-eyed Hitler cat. 

Charles has a bad cough. When he has a hairball, he goes "HEIL HEIL HEIL REEEEEICH" until it comes out. I can't make this up. I'm sorry I didn't have the chance to film this, but I'm highly allergic to cats.

Well recently, Charles was very sick. He also wouldn't go near her, even if the world stopped spinning. He wouldn't eat from her hand, wouldn't cuddle, he'd just wearily try to escape.

Charles started going out at night, and not coming back for days. Each time he came back, he'd be even more sick. The vet didn't want anything to do with him, since the cat tried to chew off his name tag.
(Please don't ask me to post the name. You get where this is going.)

So Maryse asked my dad to go looking for Charles. And like a complacent boyfriend, he did just that. Looking under bushes, in the alley, Charles is nowhere to be found.

Now on the day this blog takes place, she had phoned, screaming that Charles was dead, but when my dad got there, she retracted the story, saying only that she hasn't found Charles and thinks he "might" be dead. 

For the record, Charles has died about 6 times in the last two weeks, the second to last time, I was on the phone with a friend when Charles allegedly fell to his doom from her bedroom window, after she accidentally pushed him, then he rolled in the dirt and caught kitty-cancer. Then he rose up, coughed out the cancer but contracted another mysterious illness while crawling back tot he house. Now if he could survive that, I'm not opposed to the idea he may have survived a really long day's journey into the alley down the road from her.

Maryse is sad. Not because Charles has run away and might be dead though. Oh no, perish the thought. That would make far too much good sense.

She is sad, because she wants Charles to hurry back to her, and die peacefully at home, in her bed.

Then, (once more, her words not mine) once his soul has been released, she wants to turn him into a stole. So she can always have him near her, wherever she goes. 

I'm not joking around, her taxidermist is on speed dial. I didn't even know we had one in the area!

She says she wants to rub the fur of it with oils, and keep it's soul as her guardian, to watch over her when she tried to have my dad strangled in agony with gout.

But alas, Charles has disobeyed her, how dare he die on his own somewhere. She believes Charles has chosen to die elsewhere, just to spite her.

Now how does my dad handle this news?

He went straight home, and began mailing her postcards, forging Charles's signature. Yes, you read that right. She was in the process of teaching Charles to write, so he could show his appreciation for her. I seriously can't make this up.

So far, she truly believes the cards are from Charles, and hasn't yet pieced together that cats don't mail postcards. Especially not after they are dead.

.... And she's a Chicago Public School Teacher....

Don't Make Me Over ~ Make Over society!

I remembered this song last night, when I was looking at an impossible picture. Well, maybe not impossible, but certainly one I didn't expect.

You may have noticed that I blog a bit about society, and what's gone wrong with it. In January I wrote about why women are bat-shit crazy and I openly called out Cosmopolitan Magazine for creating every woman's self-loathing. I also called out society in general, for giving us the impression that something is deathly wrong unless we all don't look like John Cena (for the guys) and Kelly Kelly (girls). Now I am not a fan of most Divas, but I did also write from a perspective on where some of it starts on another blog recently  where I went into detail on how some girls become Divas.

Generally however, I don't see any Diva-isms from strong, confident women. They may not be booked for television, but they seem pretty much immune to what makeup chair bullies have to say.

... Or so I thought.

WWE posted a new photo of Tamina Snuka, daughter of Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka and baby cousin of The Rock. Tamina is a good wrestler who really tries her best in the ring, but since most of her opponents are scrawny and talentless, she isn't able to show off her skills. (They don't let her wrestle Natalya.)

How does WWE handle this? Do they re-train or fire the other girls? Do they let her just wrestle the men? Oh no, that would actually make some kind of sense, wouldn't it?

Their solution? Make her look exactly like the rest of them:
Look closely. Enlarge the photo if you have to. Can you see it? They changed her nose and flattened her once gorgeous curls. WHYEEE??? Why was this done? She was adorable before, what the hell??

But this isn't the first time it's happened.
From 1999 to 2011 Trish Stratus has changed quite a bit. She never needed to. Not even once. But look closely. Her nose is a different shape. Her torso is super flat. Her arms are tiny. Why? She was magazine-ready the moment she debuted. Oh sure, we can blame the torso and arms on her yoga, but what happened to that nose? Again, she didn't need to change.

WWF/WWE have been pushing and pushing their roster to fit a certain look. Even the boss's daughter wasn't immune:
Oh COME ON that's just obscene now!!! REALLY MCMAHON??? It's not even natural.

More and more though, I'm seeing these girls come in, looking like little boys. I am not even joking here. If you took out Kelly Kelly's "assets" what are you left with?
Yeah look hard. I can't even make that up. That's the exact same arms, legs and torso as Bieber.

But the nose jobs bother me the most. All of them are harsh and pointy. It's like all of the done-over Divas are trying to have noses like.....
Um...... yeah. Let's ah... let's move on now.

But I can't place all of the blame on WWE. It goes further than that. Vince McMahon is just pandering to what he has been told is the "norm" for what guys are interested in. 

If you really want to find the root of the problem, you may have to go into what we 20-30 somethings all grew up with.

For as long as there have been greedy business people, there have been those creating and selling the stereotypes that NONE of us, male or female, are perfect, unless we change.

Dolls and TV shows that were pitched to girls, and had a message of "be yourself" and "love your own skin" such as Kenya, Shani and Imani dolls, were often times yoinked from stores and deemed by coalitions as "unpopular" or "boring". But dolls caked in makeup and scantly clad were deemed "safe". 

Even G.I. Joe, hyper-steroidal and loaded down with enough weaponry to blow up a small state, was deemed more boy-appropriate than self-assured Mighty Max, who was deemed "lame".

Think about it. Xena had a doll, there was a nation-wide conniption fit over her ~ even after they stapled her clothes on! (Why you would make a kid's toyline for an adult show I don't know, but anyway..) Yet unless Barbie got something pierced, tattooed or she said something COMPLETELY sexist, she could virtually fly right under the radar, and anybody trying to protest against her string bikini was labeled a nut.

TV shows are the same. Shows where the main character (such as Ugly Betty) is played by the average boy/girl next door type, are subject to long stretches of episodes where their looks are considered "an issue" and the shows themselves are cancelled early. While superficial shows with women who wear little, act slutty and have man-noses (Sex and the City) drag on forever.

Late at night, we all see the same dental commercials, telling us that the teeth were were born with are imperfect. They're not white enough, not thin enough, not strong enough, and we're all told we need braces and dental covers. We see ads in the magazines of deathly-thin models (both sexes) trying to sell us really ugly clothes. We have steroid powders and calf implants sold to guys left and right, and media telling women that they need to have cat-face surgery and boob jobs.

And yet we have people in psychiatry, wondering why each of us has a negative self-image, and all ask where it stems from. I point them in the direction of so-called wholesome, coalition approved television.

In the 1980's, Hasbro created a series with Toei Animation called Jem. The show was designed to pitch a doll line to little girls, but an even amount of boys and girls liked the show.

Parents did not.

The first issue most parents had was the supreme amount of corporate greed in the stories. In fact, most of the show is based on Jem trying to keep the ownership of her late father's company, out of the hands of a man named Eric, who openly states in the show that he wants it because he feels women are "too stupid" to handle day-to-day business on their own. He relies on his own band (all female BTW) to become popular enough to run Jem and her band (The Holograms) out of business.

The rival band's name? The Misfits. That was parental problem #2. Parents didn't take too kindly to the idea that if you don't 100% conform into what society wants, you're a misfit and therefor "evil". Not exactly a message of acceptance, is it?

Third issue? The look. Oh never mind the neon hair, moms and dads took issue with Jem's ever decreasing body weight and the amount of caked on makeup all of the girls were wearing. Let's face facts. It's hard to tell a caffeinated clown from the Holograms in most episodes. Parents didn't seem to like the idea that in order to be considered pretty, you have to augment how you look right now.

Yet despite parents' complaints, many parental coalitions have deemed this show "wholesome" enough to air in reruns on The Hub.

But on the flipside, some networks had a complex known as the "Madonna-Whore" syndrome. No no, not the signer. It's mroe along the lines of good vs. ... well I'd say good in another outfit, but others say "evil".

In the 1990's, ABC debuted a CGI cartoon, four years in the making, called ReBoot. The show focused on the daily lives and misadventures of computer sprites, living inside of a PC. The show ran off and on, but many episodes were dropped by region. It wasn't until Cartoon network picked it up several years later that the story truly began to unfold.

ABC's standards and practices constantly cracked down on the show, because of it's dark, defeatist and sometimes sexual undertones. The self-esteem of the characters seemed to be riddled with holes in each episode, there was the constant threat of a main character being killed, but by far the reason the series was almost cancelled for good, had to do with main heroine, Dot.

Dot is a fully grown woman, raising her little brother, Enzo. Dot runs a diner and is often caught in the same fights as the rest of the cast. In some episodes, she's so strong willed that she takes on an attitude. The censors didn't care about that. They cared that she's a woman. And ergo has "bewbs". 

To get around the bewb issue, Mainframe Entertainment animated her with monoboob or uniboob. Meaning that she only has ONE, nipple-less boob, right across the chest.

Keeping in mind that this was a Saturday morning program for small children, that doesn't sound too bad, except for one problem...

Hexadecimal.

Hexadecimal is a living virus and therefore is a villain. BUT Hexadecimal is also allowed a full figure body:
This is telling children that if you have a full figure and dress sexy, you are BAD, but if you dress head-to-toe in fashion that hides everything, and you do not have as curvy a figure, your are GOOD.

HAH??

In the late 1990's, the show was moved to Cartoon Network onto their Toonami block. Starting in season three, Dot was allowed to have two boobs instead of one. However she was also clad in leather, and her brother ends up with a sprite that wears clothing leaving nothing to the imagination:

Again, with the exception of a few episodes and season 3, while ABC's S&P threw a fit, ReBoot never crossed any coalition's "do not watch" list.

Most shows in the 90's dealing with teen or adult girls also perpetuated the stereotypes about makeup and physical augmentation.

One of the very few that warned against that was actually Sailormoon.
Outside of  three Laserdisc covers with the Starlight Senshi, one episode where Usagi worries over her weight and two where she's actually seen around makeup, you never actually see Sailor Moon or the other Senshi wearing much of it. Even in the manga, when the main characters do wear makeup, it's subtle. You see more skin than you do anything else. The show did a very good job of promoting the natural look.

Some changes did occur though. Toei pressured series creator Naoko Takeuchi to paint her blonde, to appeal to a Western audience. (Sailor Moon's natural hair color is pink.) Some of the drawings became very streamlined, but still, although her transformation phrase is "Moon Prism Power MAKE-UP!!" the most she actually puts on is nail-polish.

For as much ragging as I've done on the craptastical editing of the dub, DiC and Cloverway did a good job of leaving this alone. No added makeup was ever digitally painted in. The fabled Toon Makers version however would have piled it on:
Now I believe in taking responsibility for your actions, especially when it comes to something like this. There are people in the world that make the choice on their own to go under the knife, for no other reason than to try it for themselves. But isn't this enough?

We shouldn't have "entertainment" companies, pressuring their on-screen employees into making themselves look like Justin Bieber with Shawn Michaels's hair. A company shouldn't fire people based on looks, nor should we be buying into the notion that artificial, pointy man-noses are more attractive on a woman than the one she was born with.

I'm not saying we need to be slobs, Lord knows I've seen way too many Punishing Pete's in my life, and there is something to be said for taking good care of yourself, (going to the gym regularly, sleeping and daily bathing are a plus) but you shouldn't have to resort to surgery or heavy makeup to feel pretty/handsome.

So let's not make ourselves over. Let's make over society. It's time we dropped the idea of a "norm" all together.

Boycotting Jewel-Osco ~ In defense of Handicapped people

I've been a customer of Jewel-Osco for many years, but now I feel I should not be wasting my time there.

Two years ago, their Munster, Indiana branch hired in a bunch of workers, who happened to be handicapped. They were all told up front that they were needed for customer service, and that answering phones would be all that they would do.

They lied. Not a single handicapped person works in customer service. Instead, a very absent-minded woman does, and seemingly it's also her job to greet me with disdain.

On many occasions, I would pop into the store and see a worker there named Jeff. Jeff has Cerebral Palsy, and has virtually no use of his right side. He can kind of move his toes and two fingers, and that's it. So he walks with a slump.

They would make Jeff lift the heavy boxes, push the giant carts, move the pallets, all while the other workers would just stand there, calling Jeff "lazy" because he couldn't move very fast.

One time, I needed a box of Velveeta, but it was on the highest shelf. I asked an employee who was 6'2 if he could help me reach for it.

He declined.

Instead of reaching up and grabbing the box, he told Jeff to go get it.

Jeff is 5'2.

Jeff asked for a ladder.

Not only did this guy laugh at him, but another worker made fun of him for being (as she puts it) "too needy". 

After scolding them for making fun of Jeff, and being told what a "bitch" I am for defending him, I smiled to Jeff. "Don't worry. I'll get it."

Like Spider-Man, I climbed up on the selves. Nobody tried to stop me, despite the fact that this thing was wobbling. I reached up and got the box.

It was dusty, and had expired over a year earlier.

Mind you, this was a store in a richer part of town, one that prides itself on being clean. And yet not only could these people be bothered to do their jobs and help a customer, they left expired goods right out in the open. Disgusting!

Jeff, the two people they hired with Down Syndrome and a few more CP patients were treated very poorly by these other people. The other workers are between 35-50 years old. You'd think they'd act better than a bunch of school bullies. They don't!

All of the handicapped people they hired were in charge of bagging the groceries, getting the carts in the parking lot and lifting more than their own body weight. A month ago, I caught a woman with DS pulling a pallet of tomato cans much too heavy for her. There wasn't another able-bodied person for miles.

But two days ago, Mama needed to pick up a few things for dinner. My mom is handicapped, so she can't lift very much on her own. So I went along to help. Our current state is still dragging their feet about letting she and my brother (who does qualify as disabled due to his JRA) get onto disability, despite the fact that we've had more than two doctors declare them as such. And considering the teasing my mom has had to deal with due to her injury, I get the impression that her placard is going to look alot like this:
Upon entering the building, I realized that a few faces were missing. In their place were a bunch of lazy, older people, dragging their feet and being regular annoyances.

When we were done shopping, I noticed that Jeff and the other handicapped people were missing

In their place was a young boy and an elderly woman, doing a half-assed job of bagging. I asked where the usual baggers were.

"Oh, we fired THOSE people. They just couldn't keep up." Chuckles a woman, old enough to be my grandmother. "We really HAD TO downsize, it's nice to do for charity, but it's sooo expensive."

"REALLY BITCH??" I blurted out, very much ready to open a can of whoop-WOW you security people are pretty quick these days. Alright guys... OKAY alright I'm LEAVING!! Sheesh.

On exit, I noticed the ice cold Salvation Army man, ringing the Christmas bell and asking for pennies.

Christmas. Jewel-Osco just en mass FIRED a ton of handicapped people, right before the holidays.

All of them were making minimum wage, which for them is $7.25 an hour. That means their take home pay after taxes is between $10-13,000 per year. This by them is "sooo expensive"?? 

On $7.25 an hour, you can't afford diddly squat, and now they're not making anything at all. And with days before Thanksgiving. And yes, some of them have kids. What the hell? Of course, I shouldn't expect much from a company that turned me down, because they wanted me to have a bachelor's degree to (I'm not kidding) prove that I could bag corn, but this is insanity.

Calls to Jewel's many offices turned up nothing. All I was told was that they were "deeply concerned" that I wasn't satisfied with my shopping experience, but they showed zero compassion when I told them a branch of the SuperValu Jewel empire just sent packing the very people who needed a job the most.

As it turns out though, this isn't the first time. The Chicago Sun-Times reported last year that Jewel had settled a disability discrimination lawsuit for $3.2 million, for doing exactly the very same thing at 23 other Jewel locations. 

Now I don't know about you, but if my company had just dropped 3.2 MILLION FREAKING DOLLARS settling a wrongful termination suit, I'd want to quit firing people based on disability, wouldn't you?! 

But further searching shows me that they have a long history of dropping the handicapped from employment, and an even longer one of workplace harassment. Good grief! I suddenly feel pretty grand that they never hired me. It's a fireable offence to grab a workplace bully and chuck them into traffic after all.

So I've decided I'm not shopping there again. I don't need to schlep home bags of expired foods that badly. And I encourage you all to do the same.

UPDATE: Well it looks like I'm not alone. Jewel's lost quite a bit of funding this quarter. Unfortunately, they're about to layoff another 700 people, reports the Chicago Sun-Times. Guess how many are disabled? Parent company SuperValu is looking to sell the company off.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

In search of Toon Makers ~ Release Sailor Saban Moon!

A year ago, I posted a blog about the infamous Toon Makers video. I re-rendered it in HD, posted it on one of my YouTube accounts, and just left it there.

For those of you who don't know, let me catch you up.

Sailormoon is my favorite anime and manga series.

I am also a purist when it comes to comics, meaning that I despise any production that tries to "re-in-vision" a comic's original story. (Let's make Spider-Man EMO! Let's not and say we did. >_O) The Sailormoon anime that ran from 1992-1997 in Japan, the first TMNT cartoon and a few of the Batman series' are the ONLY things I will actually give any leeway to when it comes to story.

With that said, you can imagine my utter shock and horror upon seeing that in 1994, a company called Toon Makers/Toonmakers tried to re-make Sailormoon for an American audience.

That looks NOTHING like Sailor Moon at all!!! It's freaking SHE-RA!!!

I don't know what offended me more. Seeing my beloved characters completely re-designed into sexualized stereotypes, (Mercury would no longer be the "smart one in this, as she was degraded into being into parties and boys in this version, also, Sailor Venus in the Toon Makers script threatens to kill a man over makeup) seeing the plot completely ripped to shreds, no wait. I have what offends me most right here:
Yeah, for trying to be racially sensitive, they managed to draw probably the most racially insensitive thing imaginable. >_O

Now I've been chronicling the whole mess on Moon Sisters, and I recently added a new sub-page, devoted to this ungodly mess: Toon Makers Sailor Moon ~ The Saban Moon Never Seen! Why is it called Saban Moon when Saban had nothing to do with it? Simple. It looks like they would have done it. Worse? Three of the companies that helped Saban birth Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (Renascence, BanDai and Toei)  would have been a part of it, had it not been for the people at Toei Animation throwing the world's biggest conniption fit. (And thank God for it.)

But just to show you my own, personal Hell, here it is:



Now when I wrote that first blog, I didn't think anything of it. I had the entire back story of how it was made posted on a revised blog, and that was it. I just wanted to keep the history alive, and then run as fast as I could from it. I wound up putting a Sailormoon DVD on loop on the DVD player, just to wash this memory away.

But then came the news I dreaded hearing. Two words that shook me to my core.

"There's more."

Somewhere on VHS exists a full, 17 minute pilot. It has yet to surface, but I fear that day is coming quite soon.

Worse?

Well if you took a gander at my website just now, you probably noticed an asinine number of Toon Makers Sailor Moon cels. GAH!?!?!

Now the cels are being sold by several, different eBay sellers. But almost all of them are coming from California.

The sellers all have armloads full of "NOT" Sailor Moon, as well as She-Ra, X-Men, Archie, BraveStarr  and a whole catalog of other 80's-90's animation cels. ALL of them are drawn exactly the SAME.

This made me curious. Did Toon Makers die? Are they folding?

A visit to the Toon Makers website: Toon Makers Inc. didn't turn up anything new. In fact, the last site update was in 2008, and that was just to add a copyright date.

Their last known project is probably from 2003, but I can't actually verify that.

What I can verify is that they've done a great job of patting themselves on the back. Mostly for things they either did NOT do or should not be posting.

They falsely claim to have been behind the production team of two, very funny anime titles: Flint: Time Detective and Mon Collie Knights.

For the record, Sanrio created Flint, Enoki Films animated Flint, and Saban distributed it in the US. Toon Makers had zilch to do with Flint.

Mon Colle Knights was brought to us by Studio DEEN and Saban. Again, Toon Makers had NOTHING to do with Mondo, Rockna or anybody else on the show.

(By the way, if you can find them, let me know! I want the DVDs. ^_^)

Toon Makers also takes credit for a Darth Vader knock-off, called "Darth Vapor". Not exactly what I'd be advertising if I was my own company. If you scroll left to right on their page, you'll notice a few other designs that look suspicious.

But outside of a few cartoon ads that I can verify existing, I can't find anything they've legit done or finished after 2003. You know something's wrong when Google turns up empty handed. The only thing I got was their current contact information:

Rocky Solotoff On LinkedIn and on Facebook

Raymond I.

17333 Ludlow St.

Granada Hills , CA 91344

Phone: (818) 832-8666


Web: www.toonmakers.com 


Email: info@toonmakers.com


Data.com entry

Their Toon Digital page has been shut down. The page would have been the hub for their CGI goods. The main "About" page has them touting work they claim to have done for FOX, including Fern Gully, the first Tom & Jerry movie, The Pagemaster and the top movies from Don Bluth. I've rented all of them and have read the credits. Toon Makers is 100% ABSENT from mention. Matter of fact, another film they take credit for (Fievel Goes West) is in my video cabinet. I've seen the film 22 times and still have the VHS box. Toon Makers is not mentioned.

This leads me to question if Toon Makers is a fraudulent company, save but for this one video. Outside of my other blog post, ALL mentions of them working on these films are solely on their About page. The credits they claim do not exist anywhere else but on their own website.

Founder Rocky Solotoff did work as one of the many "producers" for the FOX, Saban and Don Bluth projects, but not Toon Makers, as each of these films had their own stock of animators, editors and the like. There wouldn't have been a need for Toon Makers.

There is one Art and Design entry where they lifted a Power Ranger drawing, and then lied, claiming it to be their own "Gladiator" sketch, and then there's a blank Facebook page, and an article about home-made animation studios from Creative Planet with the date missing, but nothing more.

A post from Crunchyroll in 2009 proclaimed the company "defunct" which offers little in the ways of an explanation. There's no timetable for when this could have mercifully happened, and doesn't explain why the website is still up, there are LinkedIn accounts for the founder and one other person ~ both claiming that Toon Makers Inc. is still open for business ~ and it also does not explain why they are still listed by various art schools and business websites as viable, active portals for job-seekers.
(Though admittedly, most of these job listings are a farce, but that's another story.)
Most of the business sites just copy-paste from Toon Makers's page.

But in concurrence with Crunchyroll's story, Rocky Solotoff's Facebook states that we was there until 2010, though he pops up again in a 2011 article, linking to the Toon Makers page. Then recently in 2012, an article from Corporation Wiki proclaimed the company "active" in the state of California and Solotoff as it's owner.

But no sooner had the article been posted was the internet flooded with these lost cels.

So which is it? Is Toon Makers Inc. dead or alive?

Is this all just now coming out because a second anime is on the way?

I fear the answer to these and the location of that lost, 17 minute pilot are not that far behind...

Friday, November 16, 2012

FAKE Obesity epidemic kills REAL US jobs ~ The death of Hostess and children in the US.

I want you to look at this photo:
These are the boys that live across the street from me. I've blurred their faces and I refuse to state their names, but I want you to take a really good look at their frames.

Can you see how skinny they are? Two of them have been called "pre-anorexic" by a pediatrician.

The one in the blue shirt? He's 11 years old. At this rate, he won't get much taller, and will likely top out at 4'10. He's built like a 7 year old and is often mistaken for being a first grader.

The boy left from him is 14. He hasn't grown in 4 years.

All five boys (so their father says) are severely under-weight for their ages, and it's not likely any of them will finish puberty or procreate upon adulthood. That's especially troubling for the teens in the photo.

But their mother is happy about it, because (she says) "at least they're not FAT". She doesn't care that their risk for heart attack is actually higher now than ever before, or that not one of them will ever have a totally healthy child of their own, all she cares about is how runway ready they look.

That sentiment is one of 100 reasons why the parents are now breaking up, because the father has been told that starving a kid is actually a form of child abuse.

Last year, I openly criticized the parents that fad-starve their children, in a video I made about going to the Science Industry Museum:

At 11:22, I mimicked the parents I saw, repeating exactly what I heard:

"Susie stop eating those carrot sticks, you're gonna get FAT."

And like I said in the video, out of 700 kids, I only saw ONE fat kid. But because there exists ONE fat kid in all of Chicago, ALL children have to pay.

We have let so-called "Obesity experts" make up FAKE statistics and permeate our feeds with shameful propaganda, in the name of a crisis that does not befit our current state.

These morons can't even do their research! For example, they claim that arthritis is caused by being fat.

In truth, arthritis isn't caused by a few vanity pounds, it's caused by genetics. It is an auto-immune disease, meaning that if you don't have the genetic code for it from your mom or your dad's family ~ guess what? You CAN'T "catch" it.

And yet these clowns are foolishly allowed to run wild on television, blaming every other disease on obesity. These idiots sell books, blaming cancer, AIDS, arthritis, diabetes, lupus and a wide range of other problems on being fat. Not once, not ever do they bother looking into the role genetics plays or even in the spread of viruses. NOPE! They just blame it all on fat.

And it's these uneducated morons that have just cost us a United States institution.

Hostess is closing it's doors, due to poor sales brought on by the obesity myth. And while the propaganda perpetrators are off celebrating on their Live Journal accounts, more than 18,500 men and women are now JOBLESS, and most of them have kids to feed. Oh yeah, great victory, *clap... clap* let's put 18,500 people OUT of work, just before the holidays. Way to go, I bet you're proud.

Oh, and please forget the "just get another job" speech. We outsourced those to China, Malaysia and the Philippines.

Wake up.

The economy is in the toilet.

There are even RICH parents, starving their kids.

Poor parents can't afford to feed their kids.

We have several, million children in the United States, underfed, underweight, and living with a host of problems, brought on by malnutrition.

The kids that are outside right now, running themselves into a heart attack in the name of school sports? Most of them do not have a long life expectancy. We're at a point now with famine and childhood drugs (such as Ritalin) that this generation of parents my very easily outlive their children by a good 20-30 years.

We're facing hunger in this country, with millions going without their required 2-3 meals a day, and you want to bitch about kids getting fat? REALLY?

But they don't care about dead children, they care about Hostess going out of business.

Outside of the obvious crisis with 18,500 people facing homelessness, adding to the unemployment rate and making it even harder for everyone else to find work, let me state why that upsets me.

Even though I earn precious little, I do try to eat healthy.

I'm eating more vegetable-based foods, when I do eat pizza, there's always veggies in the sauce and spinach on top. I eat lean breads and lean meats. The last two months, I scaled back on my food intake, so I'm down to two meals a day, and just today I had a lunch of lean tuna, egg yolks and veggie sticks.

I've gained 7 pounds.

NONE of it is muscle.

And this is from eating veggies.

And in case you're wondering, NO, my immune system is NOT better for it. Since adding more veggies to my diet, I've been sick three times in the last two months, the first of which I almost had to go to the ER. Guess who can't afford that??

And even so-called "organic" veggies didn't help. $7 for ONE ~ and only ONE ~ stalk of celery, that was grown in soil, still laden with chemicals and hormone disruptive microorganisms, left over from the 1950's ~ do precious little to "help" my immune system. The fact that a negative-calorie food like celery, still added to those 7 pounds is enough to make me scream.

And these things are prone to recalls. Over the last 5 years, we've had tons of spinach, lettuce and other veggie recalls. The only products in food recalled more are imports from Mexico. What does that say??

So outside of the healthy food I'm eating, once a month, I allow myself ONE Hostess snack. Why? Because it's a break.

When I say break, it's not because of my diet, it's a break from the stress that is my life.

I have a house that is set to become a Wal*Mart.

I have a dad who likes to siphon money and waste it all on junk food, booze and OH YEAH ~ his psycho girlfriend who keeps threatening suicide because he dares to have gout.
(Guess who called my house at 6 this morning?)

I have had plenty of people email, claiming "HEY! I have work for ya." Only to either never hear from them ever again ~ or ~ they think I can "just deal with" working for free. Yeah, experience CAN'T pay the light bill. No thank you. I'm looking for people who really could use my services, and not those playing pretend.

I have violent, rude neighbors that think it's funny to party and drink under my window, set each other on fire and leave their kids all over my lawn.

I have not seen a decent night's sleep in several years.

Don't you think I could use a break every now and then??

Comfort food often times brings lighter memories to people. I have a Hostess fruit pie and I think about all the goofing off I would do with my little brother when we were kids on the road. I have a Twinkie and I remember simple days when dad wasn't home and Mama and I would stay up watching ECW. I have a Ding Dong or a Ho Ho and I remember... well I remember being 12 and learning other uses for those words.

And yes, I can read the calorie label, thank you. I know what these chemicals can do to a body, but it's not like I'm chowing down on 45 Twinkies in one sitting. "Death by Twinkie" will not be on my epitaph, thanks. We're talking once a month. Hell this month I haven't even touched a Hostess product, as the price went up. I guess I now know why!

It's not bad enough we're starving kids, now we're robbing future generations of comfort food memories, and I'm sorry health-Nazi's, but contrary to your Hipster mythology, carrot sticks, tofurkey and tempeh do NOT comprise comfort food. In fact, they do a very good job of bringing up the imagery of a conforming, lifeless, stuck-up, pointless, anti-child society. There's not a damn thing comforting about it.

We just let a pretend myth kill 18,500 American jobs, and we're letting it kill countless children in the process.

It's time we stop playing pretend.

Time to quit following every fad-crisis and start fixing the actual problems we have, such as hunger, the economy, and time to stop letting every other conglomerate bully us into over-working, over-stressing and over-medicating these kids.

We've lost enough jobs in America, and plenty of children already. Let's not add to it.

For more information on what you might be ingesting with every vegetable, please visit the page:
What's on my food?