Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Kentucky 1: I can has blessing???

This will be a several-part mini series of blogs about the summer of 2013 and what has been going on with me. This post is sentimental, but the next post will be very humorous.

You may have noticed that my last few blogs were about AT&T and pop culture. Outside of the AT&T posts, I haven't really talked about my life until right now. So! It's recap time, m'kay?

So let's go back to May. Right around here, we got the notice that despite negotiations with my parents' lawyer, the house was going to Sheriff's auction anyways. So to summarize:

1. GSF snookered my parents into a loan in 2007.
2. They told my folks to send payment to Countrywide.
3. They sold the mortgage to CitiBank.
4. Citibank inflated the payment cost, and demanded payment every two weeks instead of monthly.
5. Citibank sold the mortgage to NationStar.
6. NationStar foreclosed between July 2011-June 2013.
7. Fannie Mae now owns my house and want us out ASAP so they can knock it down for the new Wal*Mart.
8. All of these transactions happened WITHOUT my parents knowledge or consent. And if you Google these mortgage companies, you will find several pages worth of this happening to other people. So my story on losing the house isn't even rare or special.

Right, now imagine my stress level.

So between items #6-7, my father's father dies.... ranting and raving about how badly he wished my parents' divorce would have gone faster. Yeah, Grandpa died, hating his youngest son's wife and kids and wishing we would leave the family. He really wasn't much of a fan of us. And I was sort of asked not to show up for the funeral. Kinda banned as it was put to me. So um... yeah. Let's move on okay? I don't think I want to deal with this right now.

Well after Grandpa met his maker, my parents were able to sign off on the divorce. They are now divorced, and both are actually quite happy. In fact, they giggled all the way to the courthouse about it. No nasty fights, no screaming fits over who has what, and I am now a retired referee. :D

So in planning a move, trying to get a job in time to pay for said move and all of the above, one would need someone to lean on, right?

...... Well here's where my story takes a beautiful turn. :)

On New Year's Eve, I blogged about one of my best friends ever, a man named John. My best friend since 2009, and one of the few to have ever heard me cry. He's believed in me when I couldn't even believe in myself.

One thing I left out of my blog, is that John is the boy next door I never thought I had a chance with.

I write alot, but when it comes to this sort of thing, I stumble with my words.

When we first started talking on MySpace, I was timid. I had been BURNED badly when a girlfriend of another friend of mine hacked me, and posed as everybody on my friends list to gain personal data on me, so I was really scared, I didn't even give out my phone number at first! But once I knew that this really was John asking for me, I gave out my number, and soon we were gabbing away about wrestling.

I was more hot-headed back then than I am now. (Scary thought much?) And very stuck in my ways. There were a few times I almost lost him because of my temper, but he stayed with me, and helped me to see a different way of life.

I was torn then, I secretly loved John, but I also had feelings for another friend who I never see anymore. I don't want to name names, but let's just say he's on television alot more now then when I last saw him. Strange how bright lights can change people.

John and I didn't always agree on politics, so I didn't think I had any chance with him. I listened from afar when he was with other women, women I thought he'd marry, since he is so much more than a good catch. He listens, he tries to do the right thing as often as possible. He's far more patient than I am. I never thought I stood a chance with such a gentleman. I've always been told how rough I can be, so I was afraid of hurting him. But we would talk forever, almost every night about wrestling, music, what we were watching, stupid people, and soon, we shared our lives with each other. We compared family notes, and I felt safe confiding in him my darkest hours. Even when my heart was broken by the man I originally loved, John was right there to coax me down from the ceiling. Even at my WORST, he never judged me. Not once.


My head was on my desk/shelf, just two inches shy of the monitor when the phone rang. I felt like I had been suplexed repeatedly. I was trying as hard as I could to fight back the tears, after my mom told me about there being NOTHING we could do to save the house. My eyes were red from having scanned the entire internet for a solution, and closing my eyes only gave me the Google after-image of 24 search entries. I was babbling HTML code markup in my sleep the night before, and my skin was white with worry.

I picked up the phone, and confided in John how bad off we were with the house. How being a cartoonist just doesn't pay the bills these days, and about how there were no jobs left in my area. None.

I took a weary breath, ready to tell him that I couldn't take living like this anymore. I couldn't deal with the constant pressure, the endless phone-calls to the house from the people who screwed my parents out of their home, constantly being told I wasn't good enough ~ even to work at fucking McDonald's. I just didn't want to go on anymore. I took a breath to say this entire paragraph. I was just about ready to s-

"I love you."

........................................................................................... I'm sorry, say that again John?

"I love you, Koriander. I have always loved you."


I was quiet for a few minutes. He gulped, worrying that maybe he crossed a line.

Wanna know what I was doing?

Pinching myself.

I wanted to make absolutely sure that I was not dreaming again.

That I hadn't lost my mind.

That I was in reality.



..................................................................................................................................... Naw for realz and serious I'm NOT dreaming?!?!!?! :D

I didn't know what to say or where to go with this, I didn't want to screw this up.

I didn't post about this blossoming relationship until I felt I was emotionally stable enough to do so. I didn't want to wreck it before it had a chance. It's really not every day your best friend says "I love you" like this.

In this moment, I had been given a reason to keep going, keep on living. I had somebody who needed me as much as I badly need him. I had a clear idea now, I have to go to Kentucky.

I applied anywhere I could, and finally got a job interview lined up in London. I told John when and where, and we devised a plan. He paid my way, all I had to do was pack a bag or two, and head down to Kentucky.

My mom was actually ecstatic for me. She and John had also been friends for about as long as I had, so she felt I'd be safe, like I was just heading down to family as opposed to just randomly moving in with someone. John formally asked her for my hand and she was very happy to say yes. And before long, I was heading out the door for the Greyhound....................................................................................

And on paper, riding the Greyhound seems like a "good" idea. Stay tuned.....

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