Monday, December 31, 2012

Pro Wrestling Freedom ~ Hey wait, I KNOW that guy!

 I wanted to end this year on a happy note. I've been saving this story for a little while and today is just the right day to share it.

Have you ever had a moment in your life, where you see somebody and say to yourself "HEY! I knew him/her before they made it big!" Or "I was into that BEFORE it was cool." well this is one of those stories.

So once upon a time, MySpace was cool.

Back in 2009, I blogged on there much like I do here, only more frequently and with less serious stories. But one thing I talked about the most was wrestling, specifically the Indies.

The Indies are the backbone of wrestling. Just about every wrestler you've ever thought was cool was an Indy Boy at one point or another. It's where our stars are born and reborn, and what most people don't realize is that the top three companies were once themselves "Indy". (WWE was once Capitol, an Indy with just barely 12 on the roster.)

While MySpace was booming, I started making plenty of friends, but little did I realize that the company I was keeping were all about to become well known names. Looking at my list right now, I see names in Ring of Honor, names in TNA and WWE, a filmmaker, names that now crop up in magazines and newspaper articles.

John Bullard is now one of those names.

A humble man, I'm not sure how he'll feel about this blog, as he's not one to boast or brag, but I just had to tell this tale.

It was wintertime in early 2009 when I got a friend request from John. We talked about wrestling and who were the best commentators, and always he was supportive of my desire to be a cartoonist.

In just three years, I watched from afar as John held simultaneous jobs as a wrestler and musician. I had always heard that hard work and determination would get you places, and his life was that phrase in motion. John has never had it easy in life, but it's never stopped him from reaching the next step. He's been through alot in his short life, having survived the kinds of disasters only CNN could talk about. But he's always kept on. He built himself up, and along the way would lend a hand to those in need of support.

He saw that the good people of Kentucky also love wrestling, but didn't have many options. There was a hunger for change. People wanted more than the every day "Smokey Mountain" feel. They wanted variety. Everything from high flying action, to technical, to hardcore brawls.

So John decided to bring it to them.

He was diligent with his work, and very slowly, began to shape a new project called "Pro Wrestling Freedom". He was determined to provide fans with the product that would make them the happiest, and soon, he was enlisting all kinds of names from around the area. Everyone from Hy Zaya and Lennox Norris to Mad Man Pondo and B.J. Whitmer.

Just as things were starting to solidify, I got a phone call. He needed a website.

I spent many a sleepless night, teaching myself anything I could to make the site worthy of this promising new company. I'm very blessed to say that I built the Pro Wrestling Freedom website this year, and it's one of the most rewarding works I've ever had. It's been an honor and a joy to build that page from scratch.

The site went live in September, and just one month later, PWF held their first show.

It always warms my heart to see a new wrestling promotion with a strong vision start up, but this is the first time I can say I watched a friend start one from scratch.

Steadily these last few months, I've been watching PWF grow from a brand new venture to a household name, complete with a loyal fan-base and an energetic roster, just bursting with life. They're heading to WOBZ TV 9 in Kentucky this upcoming year, and there will be an internet stream for those outside the area.

I am also very happy to report to you that just before the stroke of midnight, PWF debuted it's very first iPPV on WWNLive. The whole roster put their very best effort into it, and if you like what you see, the DVD has extra matches and other stuff added.

I can't tell you how amazed I am that I was lucky enough to see this from the very beginning.

I'm very proud of you, John.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Dear Life...

To whom it may concern,

I was a "good girl" my entire life.

I did as I was told, read all the books I had to and then some, completed school as fast as I could, built character doing things I am loathed to do in the false name of "family bonding", ate my veggies ~ no matter how many times they got recalled for disease and pesticide sprays, said my prayers, ate my vitamins, did good deeds without expecting rewards, went to bed, obeyed my elders like a good little subordinate, crossed my T's, dotted my I's, paid my dues and showed up early in life, eager to work hard and earn everything in life the old fashioned way. I even dressed conservatively ~ even though I am a die-hard liberal, and always minded my manners.

I was told that if I did all of these things, I'd be rewarded.

I have not been.

Instead, my life as an adult has been one twisted, confusing nightmare after another.

In lieu of steady employment by which I could work hard to earn my living, my opportunities were shipped overseas, and given away to non-English-speaking children not yet old enough to read.

 In lieu of a degree-granting building from which I could learn from, my country is overrun with so-called "colleges" that do nothing but dump endless debt onto every poor soul who enters.

And nobody has stepped up to ask me to "the ball", since your PC bullshit has made everyone afraid of the Sexual Harassment Panda and Gold Digger Fairy. We don't even have "balls" to go to anymore, because you have deemed them "unsafe" so instead of nice "date" places, we have dark nightclubs that blast dubstep at deafening levels and drench people in liver-eroding alcohol.

I am surrounded by nothing but closed doors, nailed-shut windows and very rude and stupid elders who spend all their time name-calling and cutting back on my rights and freedoms, all while hiding ignorantly behind a holy book they have never ~ EVER ~ read.

So for my next day off, I'm taking a trip back to childhood.

No, not the thing your kids have. Their childhood sucks.

I'm talking about MY childhood.

I want it back.

I want to be able to open up a box of Lucky Charms, eat what comes out of it and not spend the rest of the day doubled over in the bathroom, cursing the little leprechaun and insisting he's magically suspicious.

I want every box of cereal to replace corn syrup, BHT, Splenda and every other Government approved chemical I can't ever ingest with sugar. You know the kind. That white crap we get from the God grown sugar canes that sprout from the Earth.

I want to be able to eat Pop-Tarts again and not have them make my nodes puff up like balloons.

And dammit there better be a toy in the box. A REAL one, not those flimsy school supplies that break in a week.

I want Nickelodeon and Disney to stop shoving teen idols down my throat every five seconds and play ACTUAL cartoons again. No morals. No sitcoms. Just freaking cartoons.

With that said I want my old Cartoon Network back. The one that aired UNCENSORED black and white cartoons late at night, anime super heroes in the late afternoon and crammed the hours full of uncensored Looney Tunes, Rodger Ramjet, George of the Jungle and Johnny Quest ~ and NONE of that 80's crap, please!!

I want Barbie to eat a burger, scrape off that makeup, stop looking like a skeleton and get a REAL job. No more of this reality show bimbo, give me back my ambitious blonde, raising 5 or more siblings in a mansion while she's being a president, astronaut, cop, veterinarian and ballerina.

I want the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that I grew up with back. No more of this CGI garbage, stop being lazy, Mirage! Pick up a pen, start drawing and dammit, put April back in that hideous, yellow jumpsuit!

I want the Power Rangers to quit having trust issues, stop being Emo and start acting like heroes again. The last ... I dunno... 49 incarnations of 'em, I gave up 5 episodes in and started rooting for the bad guys.

And where the hell are my neon colors??? When I wear something, I want you to be able to see it from outer space!

I want cartoons on Saturday mornings again. No, not that baby CGI crap or those old 4kids reruns. Give me cartoons that are action packed, drama-free and have a basic plot even a dumbass can follow.

I want the word Trolls to mean those little dolls you see in vending machines again, and not a slang term for internet abusers in desperate need of a high five in the face with a mallet.

I want action figures to cost less than $5 and actually come with shit again. Lighten up toy Nazis IT'S FUCKING PLASTIC!! You can buy a whole vat of the stuff for 10 cents and have enough to blanket Chicago in Battle Beasts ~ and 10 points to the first person who gets that reference.

I want my Thundercats to look like the WWF Superstars edition of the musical Cats, not these whiny  skinny, Emo things that wallow around in their own self-pity. NO!! Give me back my cocky, self-assured asswipe Lion-O ~ the one that didn't need someone to hold his paw when Mum-Ra appears.

And dammit I said WWF, not WWE. Back off you mealy-mouthed-panda-humpers, I want back the company that didn't make me cry blood when it was on. Gone I want the little, simpering GIRLS that flip their hair and then over-sell and CRY when Kane enters the ring. No, I want the confident F back, brimming with people who act like wrestlers instead of models, fight instead of act, and I damn well expect to hear about a BOOKER working there ~ not a soap opera "creative" team.

I want my Indy Wrestling shows to be all over every local channel I have again, so I have a reason other than the news to have a set of bunny ears.

I want my Chicago channel 50 to play cartoons again instead of paid programming, stress causing dramas and murder-mysteries that spend more time on the weaselly 40-somethings not being man enough to tell a woman "I like you" than they do figuring out how a dead body wound up in a washing machine.

And lastly I want my comic books back. No, not these scribbled out dramas where Superman is anorexic and Emo. I want the Man of Steel back. The confident, everything will be alright hero who couldn't be killed like every 15 graphic novels!

Yes, I'm taking a day off to visit my childhood.

You can have all of my wimpy-non-employers, my money woes and all the piles of "fuck you" my adulthood has dumped on me.

I'm going to be 5 for a day.

Sincerely,
Tuckered.

P.S. I hid $20 over there.

P.P.S. Your brain just said "underwear".

Monday, December 24, 2012

He WON'T sleep with Truffles the Ring Rat??

The following article was a little hard to write for me. See, because I'm a woman, I have to carefully meter out the truth in a way that doesn't make me sound like a jealous, stuck up bitch. Believe me, I can't stand ring rats and want nothing to do with either they or what they own.

But to my astonishment, it looks like I'm not alone.

For those who don't follow wrestling, let me catch you up to speed.

A Ring Rat is a person (usually female but I have met male and transgender ones) who claims to be a wrestling fan, but is only there to watch the large, more muscular men, get sweaty, strip down to the bare minimum of clothing and beat the hell out of people. She doesn't know his name, despite the fact that the announcer just screamed it into the microphone at a volume that can deafen the surrounding area, all she knows is that he looks "hawt".

Ring Rats are rude to other fans, but suddenly act all sweet and innocent around their favorite wrestlers, keep to their own little cliques of people, hog all the sinks in the women's bathroom, push other fans out of their paid-for seats, drape their boobs over the guardrail, invite themselves backstage and try to sleep with as many people as possible.

They don't just sleep with wrestlers, they'll sleep with other fans, referees, ring announcers, and just about anybody they think will grant them a leg up into the world of wrestling. Often, they'll prostitute themselves out for jewelry, tickets, free rides and on occasion, they'll try to do this, to get as much free training as possible, so they can one day (in their minds) go to the WWE and become famous Divas.

Her dream would be to marry the WWE champion. Why? Because wwe.com says they like make money and stuff.

How do I know this is how Ring Rats are?

Because unfortunately for me, they never shut the holy hell up at the wrestling shows I go to, and sometimes sit behind me at different restaurants, despite my endless pleading.

That's right! The average Ring Rat is PROUD of what she does. She boasts about using people faster than runny noses use Kleenex, she posts on Tout and Twitter about the guys like they're pieces of meat, and believe it or not ~ they have STUDENTS!!

I have never really had a reason to blog about them though, since (I thought) most of what could have been said has already been posted by people (read: wrestlers) who know all to well about these creatures of the night. But this week was different.

I don't always wear my reading glasses, but when I'm having troubles with writing or when I'm working on websites, I will put them on.

That's exactly what I did the other night. I put them on, because I was certain my eyes were playing tricks on me. I had to have made a mistake somewhere. I thought I had seen the first sign of the apocalypse, but quickly reminded myself that the Mayans were great big fibbers.

But upon putting the plastic frames on, I discovered that I wasn't seeing things at all. In fact my vision could not have been any more clear.

It happened.

Two, single, heterosexual men from the United States of America, had simultaneously emailed me, telling me the story of why they completely despise ring rats.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

But they were not alone. Before I went to bed, I saw a few more posts from guys, all single, all posting on Facebook about how obnoxious these creatures are, and how they can't stand when a girl acts like a monumental slut.

I sat back in my chair, pondering the universe. Truly... this is the time of miracles.

Now for those who don't understand why I just said that, let me be very clear. I'm about to say things that are sexist in nature, and I want to apologize here and now before I say them.

My entire life, I have come across guy after guy after guy, who talk non-stop about women. How they wish a girl would "just bang them already" how hot the Divas are, women that they have banged and left, so I've always had this idea that a good chunk of the male population just don't give a damn about who they're with.

I have met some exceptions to the rule, and I can point out which rosters they are currently on, but they represent less than 400 people in the world and most of them are married. You can guess that with the exception of 15, all of them are currently active in the world of wrestling.

Furthermore, with the exception of the under 400, I often see guys marry and date women who look like ugly, little boys. Several blogs ago, I pointed out how Kelly Kelly and Justin Bieber have a similar body frame.

Just remove the plastic man-grabbers, cut the hair and you have the Canadian teen idol. Even their noses are similar.

So when I hear guys all the time going on and on about women, and then they end up with very manly women, I can't help but imagine that they just don't care who they get. Even a Ring Rat seems "doable" to the average male.

If you watch MTV, you'll see where this sexist and moronic idea comes from. You'll see a parade of guys, talking about how disposable women are, and as I've blogged before, women are raised to believe that that is what you are.

Disposable.

At some point, a guy will forget he ever knew you. Even his own mother isn't safe.

Like most women, I grew up with this idea that men don't want a good girl.

Oh sure, they'll "claim" that's what they want, but it's a great big lie. A guy will tell you to your face how he wishes he had a good girl, someone who'd love him for who he is, hang out with him and eventually have kids with. But that's never who he dates, sleeps with or even marries. Not even close.

And when they're not dating ex-men and escaped convicts, they're talking about the extra slutty Divas and talking about how they'd love to be surrounded by women who wear underwear all day and then bang 'em and leave 'em. They talk like they want to hang around Ring Rats all day and all night.

So imagine my shock when all of a sudden, nobody wants that anymore.

Imagine the look on my face, when I'm reading letter after letter from guys ~ single and straight ~ confiding in me to what levels of hate they have for these extra slutty women.

The last email I read was from a guy who was dying to know.

Where do Ring Rats come from?

The answer is a simple one, but I promise you.... you're going to hate it.

A while ago, I blogged about where Divas come from and then again about the shows and toys that perpetuate where the makeup and clothing come from. I recommend reading both, so you can pinpoint where most of this comes from.

As for Ring Rats? It gets worse.

I'll tell you a story about Truffles. I hope that's not her real name, because if it is, I now have ANOTHER reason to slap her parents.

Truffles is one of several Ring Rats I've had the sincere displeasure of meeting. I'm fairly certain Truffles is her name, it's hard to tell when she's drunk and says her name in a fake Californian-Jersey accent.

Once upon a time, during a Jell-O shot induced haze in the 1980's, Truffles was born to her fat, mullet-headed father who once sat 16 rows away from me and still had enough stank on him to mow over the entire ringside area, and to her mother, the over-the-hill weirdo who sticks her ass out at people, claiming "she's still got it" in a failed attempt to out dance everybody at the after party.

When Truffles was growing up, her parents didn't care what she was watching, as long as she was out of their hair. These people wouldn't let her touch a video game, believing all the techno-phobic hype from the coalitions, but they were totally fine with her watching Jem and playing with Lil Miss Makeup dolls.
When Truffles was 5, her father let her watch WWF, but she mostly remembers Superstars, which came on Saturday mornings and was focused on the male wrestlers. This is when she noticed that the females fawning over Shawn Michaels at ringside, got special treatment. The WWF cameras would focus in on them as they fluff their crimped, peroxide-blonde hair, and sometimes they would be allowed backstage with all their favorite wrestlers. Truffles thought this was cool.

When Truffles was 8 and a half years old, her father took her to a WWF show. And that's when she saw Sunny.

Sunny didn't have to wrestle. Sunny didn't even have to cheer her guys on in the ring. All Sunny had to do was prance around in a tiny outfit, and the world was her very own.

Truffles heard the adults making rude comments about Sunny. Only it didn't register in her mind as "rude" she thought it was just water-cooler talk. (Her parents never taught her manners. Neither did the school system.) She heard people saying that Sunny gets ahead in life by being a slut. Now that's a very strong opinion for an adult to spew out in front of a child, but Truffles never thought about whether or not that was fair.

Instead, Truffles heard her life calling.

Before she even hit puberty, Truffles knew that the sluttier you are, the more stuff you get! Why, I can be like Barbie! Just bat my eyelashes, wear skimpy clothes and a vat of makeup, and then I can have all the jewelry,  cool stuff and living Ken and G.I. Joe dolls I want!!

Encouraging Truffles was the media. Truffles grew up listening to sugary pop songs about explicit sex, sung by the latest Boy Bands and Pop Princesses.

Her parents still don't seem to care or notice when at 14, she started packing cheap, generic, dollar store and mostly China made contraceptives in her purse. As long as she wasn't bugging them, they didn't care what she did.

Truffles grew up and dressed down in a hurry, and then started going to wrestling shows.

A few years ago, I met Truffles at an ROH show, bitching in the bathroom that NONE of the ROH boys wanted shit to do with her. NONE. They made it crystal clear that this was unacceptable behavior, and they were not going to let her backstage.

"BUT it's not fair!" Whined Truffles as I was trying to wash my hands. "At all the WWE shows, I can go back there with ANYBODY."

Against my will, I then heard several, unspeakable tales I never asked for, about people that are on my old trading cards. I'm not going to name any names here, but suffice to say that all of them have action figures, and it's really uncomfortable watching the old Wrestlemania tapes when a certain ring announcer introduces the combatants. *Shivers*

A few weeks later, Raw was in town. To my horror and astonishment, I saw Truffles on television. She never did become a WWE Diva, but I heard through the grapevine that she tried getting into developmental, and was a rent-a-bitch for a segment. Less like an employee and more like a random photo-bomber that the commentary made a remark about. I can't remember who this was for, but I have it on tape somewhere.

Years go by, and Truffles tries to use her wiles to get wherever she wants to go. But after a while, the act goes stale. And like most of the trash, she is discarded, save but for WWE shows, and a handful of ultra seedy places. (Oh, I have another Punishing Pete story here, but I'll save that.)

I last saw Truffles two years ago, drunk, and telling me this entire life story of hers against my will.

As I pushed her OFF of my table for the third time in less than 5 minutes, I noticed she had deep lines on her face, left over from wearing makeup from the age of 7. She had glitter all over the place and was wearing a skirt that couldn't even cover her thong. She looked like a haggard old zombie, and had all the charm and decorum of the Crypt Keeper on acid. This scared me, because I did the math, Truffles is only a year and a half older than me. (I'm 26.) But already, Truffles was old, and nobody wanted her around.

Ring Rats take on all sizes, shapes and forms, and come from all walks of life. Rich, poor, it never matters. These creatures have been raised to believe that the more easy you are, the better your life is.

Is this new? No way, not by a long shot. Back in the days of Fabulous Moolah, they existed back then too. They just didn't have any cute names like "Diva" to describe them. Instead, they were the gals that didn't last long in wrestling, on account of they had nothing to offer. On the rare chance that one of them did get into the ring, they didn't have long careers, unless they married the champion or the promoter ~ and those marriages rarely lasted, having been based on hormones.

So how do you stop Ring Rats from ruining everything? The answers are simple, and have already been developed by wrestlers.

The first thing the guys can do, is to respect their own bodies. Again, there are a ton of wrestlers already ahead of the game, so this is for everyone.

Dudes, condoms can't stop every STD that's out there. Just as you show respect for your muscles by working out, you should also show respect for the rest of your body by NOT ~ I repeat ~ NOT sleeping with everything that moves.

Ignore how lonely the road is. Ignore how horny you are. It's not worth it. Use your hand and keep away from the Ring Rats. It's usually the clean-looking ones that have the most wrong with them.

Show respect for the locker-room too. Stop letting these creatures of the night back there.

The backstage area is sacred ground to most wrestlers. It's the last place on Earth a guy can get ready before his match, and traditionally it's only for wrestlers, other workers and their families. If you wouldn't let your daughter around a Ring Rat, don't let anybody else around them either. Show respect for this area by keeping the Rats OUT!

Ladies, have respect for your own bodies. There's nothing more gross than making it to old age, and having your greatest achievement be that you were once a living Kleenex.

And show some respect for these guys! They're not pieces of meat, they are human beings.

But most of all, the best way to stop a Ring Rat is to not create one in the first place. And this is why I want to talk to the parents out there. Specifically Mr. and Miss Truffles's Parents.

Shame on you.

Shame on you that you never told your daughter ~ I HOPE your only child ~ how to respect her body. That Sunny's being slutty was supposed to be a gimmick ~ NOT a suggestion!

Shame on you that you let her watch every program marked "child friendly" by the coalitions, and never once saw an episode and wondered if this was the right thing for her.

Shame on you that your idea of "the talk" was an episode of Jerry Springer and a copy of The Little Mermaid, that you let the television set raise her while you were out heckling the wrestlers about what you think of their business.

And shame on you for ever breeding. My God do you even own a mirror??

If more parents would raise their daughters to respect themselves, instead of letting the TV set do it for them, this wouldn't be such an overgrown problem.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

What if there was a happy wrestler?


Sometimes, I see posts from "people" (read: non-wrestlers) that puzzle me.

They piss all over guys who are happy with where they are in life (read: Not-in-WWE) and they call them horrible names like "stupid" and "retard" and then post loooooooong speeches about money and business ~ like they know better.

Blah blah money, blah blah bills blah blah business.

You'd think these guys were veteran wrestlers. They are not.

You'd never know this is all coming from the guy working at CVS, who never wrestled a day in his life, but took two seminars and then claims that he can't wrestle because of a mysterious "knee injury" that happened sometime in high school.... sometime before C.M. Punk was born.

They blather on and on about business, like they want to be the next Triple H... but they don't actually watch wrestling full time anymore.

They only go to 5 Indy shows a year.

They don't watch Raw or Impact.

They forget when SmackDown comes on but can't wait to tweet about how great Antonio has gotten (I'm sorry, but he'll always be Claudio to me) and then they tweet again about the last five matches he's had... that they NEVER SAW.

They insist that NXT quit running shows a year and a half ago.

They have no idea what a Saturday Slam is.

They don't even know that Ring of Honor is not only on television, but they stream the shows online on their website.

The last iPPV they saw had Bryan Danielson on it..... and it was live.

But... they claim to know "the business" better than the guy in the ring.

The wrestler.

You know, the guy who actually went to a real wrestling school, trains and works out 3-5 days a week and actually DOES wrestle for a living.

Yeah. They claim to know "the business" better than wrestlers.

They heckle the poor wrestler, calling him names, and claiming that until he goes to WWE to "earn the real money" he'll NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER understand "da business".

They never think beyond the WWE, a company they don't even watch anymore, because they say "da business is dying... no wait... it died when Shane Douglas dropped da belt in a .... nooooo it died when hulk Hogan left AWA.... noooooooooooo it died when" you get the idea.

They never think about an alternative. So let me bring up a fantasy concept.

What if?

What if the wrestler is not stupid or retarded?

What if the wrestler is happy?

What if the wrestler was in WWE, but they made fun of him, never paid him what you imagine WWE claims they pay (get real, even HHH doesn't make a million a day) and he's happy wrestling someplace where he's treated like a human being?

What if he's pacing himself, and maybe does want to go to the WWE, but only when the time is right?

What if WWE rejected him, but he's still happy being at a smaller show?

What if he's happy being allowed to pick his own music and gimmick?

What if he's happy choosing his own ring gear, and doesn't need a "creative" team to pick for him?

What if he doesn't want to be on a bearskin rug with Vince McMahon? Let's be honest, if you go to Netflix, and watch the WWE specials where they have the pre-1998 matches on them, and you hear McMahon's commentary............ it's pretty weird! He calls Shawn Michaels and a few of the other fluffy blondes names like "sexy beast" even if that's not part of his gimmick. These younger wrestlers are in my age group. Trust me. It was creepy to hear at ages 6-10, it's even more creepy at ages 26-30.

What if he wants to go to TNA to hang out with Hulk Hogan?

What if he's still figuring out what he wants to do in life, and wrestling is a break from his boring 9-5 at the McDonald's?

What if he did everything you're supposed to do in life, went to college, got a degree, but all it gave him was mountains of debt, a crappy cubicle job, and wrestling gives him a way to express himself?

What if this is his dream?

What if this is his passion?

What if that smile behind the autograph booth is a genuine one, and not an I-am-being-paid-to-smile-and-pose-with-the-mark-who-won't-shut-the-holy-hell-up-about-the-so-called-business-right-after-telling-me-his-whole-life-story-against-my-will grimace?

What if he did not just travel 300+ miles out of his way, to hear a complete stranger working at the CVS tell him what a "stupid retard" he is, how he "doesn't get da business" and how "until he goes to WWE he'll never be anything" and how this stranger is adamant that "da business is dying"?

What if he just wants to wrestle tonight, and give the other people in the crowd what they paid to see ~ wrestling.

What if we were all just understanding of that?

What if we all treated this man in the ring like the hero he is, for defying the odds, defying the naysayers, and living his dream more bravely than the rest of us keyboard warriors?

What if we showed him the respect he's long since earned?

What if we cheered him if he's a face, or booed if he's a heel, and applauded either way for the effort he brought?

What if we stopped telling the guys about the business? They live it, we don't. Don't you think they know already?

What if we act like they do right now?

What if?

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Pretty Little Dolly can Starve... wait what are we telling kids??

There's extra commentary if you hover over the images.
When I first heard the song "The Pretty Little Dolly" by Mona Abboud, I was filling out my own letter to Santa, complete with my own pretty little dolly request.
Well... she didn't come from Santa, and it took a decade, but she's mine now. ♥

But as I was writing the letter, I had the news on. Even as a child I was keen on keeping up with the times. 

They had on one of those really psycho fear mongering nut jobs. You know the kind. The type of out-of-touch moron that blames video games for every problem we have, thinks that all movies are filmed by Satan, and accuses decent music not currently on the oldies station as being the sole reason why people have dry skin on the backs of their heels. Yeah, that kind of idiot. The same people who's grandparents blame gun violence on Black people. You don't want to tell people in other lands that we have these riot-inducing, coalition backing nimrods in America, and yet those are the same, hateful creatures whose faces we plaster on CNN and to whom we kowtow to the whims of like cowardly weasels. Anyway.

This one idiot was accusing Barbie (an 11 1/2 inch plastic doll) of being a poor role model for children, and promoting anorexia. 

Now let me be clear. Even as a child I knew that Barbie was not role model material. A child's first "role models" should be mom and dad. NOT a sports star, cartoon or plastic doll. Furthermore, if your child is aspiring to be a Barbie doll when he/she grows up, I want you to consider yourself a failure as a parent, and then seek psychiatric help.

I looked at each of my Barbie dolls. Not one of them inspired me to starve myself, and while thin, none of them were anorexic. I want you to keep the "a" word in mind.

The role model bit I laughed at. Okay, so my Barbie dolls came with slutty outfits and back then, you could purchase a mini-bar and glowing hot tub for her, but as I kid, I figured "Okay, Barbie is a grown up, and I am not." As far as relate-able dolls go, I spent more time with Skipper and Stacie than I did Barbie.

When I was almost 13, I noticed a change in Barbie.

Suddenly, Barbie had wide hips.

This made her pants not fit right anymore, but it made her dresses puff out more, which is all I cared about.

... But her waist was smaller.

This meant her t-shirts now wore her instead of the other way around.

So... to make her less anorexic... you SHRUNK her waist? That doesn't make any sense.

Not even a year later, I heard my older Barbie dolls called something I never considered before.

Fat.

Suddenly, the same exact nut cases that before, called Barbie anorexic, had come back to TV with a new attitude. Suddenly, they deemed barbie "too fat" and accused her of "forcing" girls to eat more and die of obesity.

To date, I've only seen a total of three children in all of Chicagoland that qualify as "chubby". All of the other children I have seen up close have been anorexic. So I failed to see how Barbie would make any of them "suddenly" fat.

But Mattel just can't be bothered to think for themselves, can they? Take a look at this:
From 1959 until 1999, Barbie's body was mostly unchanged. Oh sure, her face changed quite a bit, but not much else.

Then in 2000, her hips widened out, but she became more skinny.

Now? She's a twig! And what's worse is that she's coated in more make-up than an 80's Barbie!

Now, I'm not crazy enough to call Barbie a role model, but what are we teaching kids with her?

Until 2000 when Barbie was starting to be "younged up", she had regular jobs. Doctor, nurse, cop, firefighter, astronaut, politician, dentist, chef, pilot, and when she did wear makeup, it matched her costume.

Now? Her jobs only include dancer, reality show star, gymnast, babysitter and dog-walker. And 100% of the time, she wears so much makeup that she appears as a hooker. She also looks high.

And don't get me started on the ethnicity issue.
I have never seen an actual Black boy in person that looks like this. Certainly none of my cousins look like this boy.

So I look at the alternatives to Barbie. I won't mention the Disney Princesses, since all those dolls seem to offer are overt amounts of makeup, glitter and dresses, but I will bring up the top three threats Barbie faces. All of Barbie's competitors are teenagers ~ NOT adults.
Monster High dolls focus on dolls of the unusual. Vampires, werewolves, zombies and other Halloween characters permeate the line, but I can't help but notice all the complaints from parents on Amazon. The dolls are literally so thin that they break as soon as you take them out of the box.

Moxie dolls offer a broader range of ethnicity (holy crap, they actually have one that looks like me) and while the bodies look more like a regular teenage girl, the heads are HUGE.

Bratz only recently toned down the slut factor with the makeup and clothes, but it's still prevalent with the latest line. While not as anorexic as Barbie, they are still too thin.

When did this become okay? When did it become mandatory that all dolls fit this unhealthy mold? I don't think any parent is really comfortable with purchasing a skeleton with encephalitis for their child. And yet that is what there is to choose from.

Rich parents have the option for an American Girl doll. Each doll is built like a child, and is billed as being 9 or 10 years old. They are makeup free and apparently teach kids that it's okay not to be perfect, since each one has buck teeth.

They offer creepy baby dolls, creepy toddler dolls, tiny-20-dollar dolls, and then the famous lines of "My American Girl" and historical dolls.

Now in the ads and on the website, they tell you that you can "create" your own doll. That is a bald-faced lie. You cannot create your own doll. You are only allowed to choose from more than 30 pre-made dolls, and NONE of them are any darker in skin tone than a slightly damp cardboard box. Most of the dolls are White, one is Asian, four are semi-Black and 2-3 are mixed-race or Hispanic, I can't really tell. 

For the record, I tried to find a doll that looked like me as a kid, but the closest I got face-and-hair--wise was this one:
Each doll is $102.

If you want clothes, shoes and anything fun for the doll, the price goes up.

Two dolls and one book will set you back $244.

I'm not kidding. I can't even figure out where the hell this price comes from. The materials to make this doll cost a grand total of $1.09, and China spits them out faster than a politician spits out lies. The clothes cost less than 12 pennies to make, so where the hell is this price coming from??

And then there are the choices themselves. Now currently, Kirsten, Felicity,  Samantha and Samantha's poor little friend are "retired". Yes, Mattel decided to send these haggard, old 10 year olds to live in the country side at a lovely nursing home. But if you go to the actual stores you are bound to find them again, along with the current line of dolls:
Each doll represents a different point in history, and yet curiously, we jump from Molly in 1944 to Julie in the 1970's. While i'm sure there are parents out there who remember at least SOME of the 70's, and likely don't want their kids thinking they're old enough to be "historical" I do wonder when Mattel will release the Civil Rights era doll. She might compliment Addy pretty well.

Growing up, I only had one doll come with a wheelchair. She was Mattel's friend for Barbie, Share a Smile Becky. 
But when I got her out of the box, I found that she wasn't handicapped at all. In fact, she had the exact same body as Gymnast Barbie!! Holy insurance fraud Batman, Becky's doing cartwheels at Barbie's mansion!!

Not only that, but Becky's face was coated in makeup that wore off. Oh sure NOW she looks softer with less eye-shadow, but that stuff never came off of my clothes. And her wheelchair snapped on me after playing with her just three times. Freaking cheap neon Malaysian plastic!!

Was this just Mattel's way of making Becky appear to be as normal as any other Barbie, or were they telling kids that Handicapped Barbie needs more makeup than the other Barbies, in order to be ready to play with? Either way, I'm offended, and I hope that stuff wasn't toxic.

Before they had So In Style (S.I.S.) dolls, Mattel had a line of Black dolls called Shani. I still have the first three. Shani, Asha and Nichelle (pictured) were made for ethnic girls who couldn't find a Barbie that looked like them. (Closest thing I have is Mexican Barbie ~ and I'm not Hispanic!!)

Like the S.I.S. dolls, Shani was a "distant friend" of Barbie, but was never featured in the same ads as Barbie, Midge, Theresa and the gang. Shani and S.I.S. dolls rarely cross paths with Barbie, are kept on high shelves far away from her, and aren't even mentioned in the CGI movies. Not even for Christmas!

And again, I notice that the dolls all have heavy makeup on.

Most of the ethnic dolls are pretty rare, and sometimes only appear in the collector's catalog. Is this Mattel saying we're exotic? Pricey? Unpopular? Rare? It's hard to tell.


I've never seen an obese doll. Even the "pregnant Midge" doll has thin legs and a pregnancy bump that pops off with magnets, revealing a flat, bony, bikini ready stomach. Even her baby is born on the thin side, and upon "birth" spins on her head like a top. (Never you mind how I know that.)

Do you see what's wrong here?

By excluding the un-skinny-boppers, we are in effect telling kids that werewolves, vampires, zombies, skeletons, corpses, mummies, sea monsters and Taylor Swift are all acceptable to have fashion dolls for... but if you weigh more than a bowling ball, you are too grotesque to be pretty. WHAT???

We're also telling kids that to be pretty, you must wear more makeup than clothing, or otherwise be among the "unobtainable". (I say unobtainable, because I can't fathom forking over $100+ for a nekkid doll.)


As an adult, I still don't believe that dolls should ever be called "role models" as that is too much pressure to dump on a little, plastic toy. But I do wonder what we are telling kids?

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Say NO to AdSense!!!

This is NOT a test. DO NOT EVER sign up for AdSense!!! This is a warning about a product that is not worth your time or agony. Please read.

Like most people with some kind of Google product, I fell for the AdSense story. You know the one.

"Monetize your _________________ account and start earning money when people click on ads!"

And true, I've already blogged about the myriad of gripes I have with AdSense but the one thing I never banked on was that it would lead to a major scam artist.

It's been more than a year since that last blog, and Google still owes me $34. They claim I won't see one red cent, until I accumulate $100 AND they can prove that I "earned" my clicks. For the record, I never touch the ads on my own accounts, but they still have to treat me as a fraud before I earn this mystical $34.

And contrary to popular fiction, it won't let me monetize more than one of each account. It says I can post the ad link onto anything, BUT if I post that link onto (let's say) a YouTube video, I'll be flagged for spam. Ergo the link I post to the ads is not a link I can use without gaining a strike on my account. These are Google/YouTube's own rules by the way, against my using a Google link on a YouTube video.

So I'm just allowed ONE YouTube. But that seems to be a blessing.

I recently got two, fraudulent copyright strikes against anti-bullying videos I made last year. Puzzled, I checked the video files out, and found nothing in them I didn't make by myself. So I look at the claimant.

Can you see this? Not only is this the name of a person that does not seem to exist (Google searching brought up nothing) but the email address is from a KNOWN SPAM-BOT!!

Furthermore, the two strikes aren't even written the same. The Kanji is all over the place, for all anybody at Google knows, these could be random words from a dictionary.

These were two videos I animated (CGI, using MMD) using text I programmed and songs I put together by myself. If there is a copyright issue with anything I posted, I would imagine it coming from Crypton ~ and those people don't seem to mind what I post. In fact, the last few times I emailed them, I got friendly responses and encouragement to fight any claims like this ~ because it ain't them.

I've disputed the claims, and so far I have two strikes on that account. I don't even care at this point if they made good on their daily threat to shut it down (yes, YouTube has a habit of sending daily or bi-daily threats) because I can always find a better website.

So as I'm trying to fill out the dispute form, I notice a little glitch at the bottom that catches my eye:

What the yellow box says is that they will forward my personal information to this man/woman, and allow them to decide where to go from there.

Let's back this up.

You let a known SPAMMER make two fraudulent claims against me.

Then, you tell me to send him/her my personal address, phone number and other contact information.

Then you threaten me by stating that if he chooses to keep the strike against me, or you otherwise are not "happy" with my response that you will shut down my account, and let this guy/girl keep my data?

WHAT??

This is a known SPAMMER. You are going to let a SPAMMER have my personal information?

Do you understand what Phishing and Identity Theft mean???

Of course, I didn't finish filling out the form.

Furious, I started looking around for help. I came across a few email addresses, designed to stop phishers in their tracks, and I reported this individual and made it clear the abuse was happening on YouTube. For your sake, please keep a record of the following anti-phishing addresses:

spam@uce.gov ~ They have helped me in the past & I stand behind them.
legal@google.com ~ This is YouTube/Google's legal team. Don't expect help.
reportphishing@antiphishing.org
phishing@irs.gov

Now calling YouTube/Google's first number got me nowhere fast:
YouTube, LLC
901 Cherry Ave.
San Bruno, CA 94066
USA
Phone: +1 650-253-0000
Fax: +1 650-253-0001

So I tried the second number:
1-650-623-4000

And for the second time, I spoke to "Google Lisa". It's the same snarky woman I've blogged about before, she kept trying to hang up on me. Never took my information, didn't even ask my name. Just told me "Yeah like ahhhh *sigh* just email the Legal Department. That's ALL the information they gave me. GAWD!"

So what does this have to do with AdSense? Read on.

After curing the existence of Lisa, I stumbled onto a news story from last year from Wired. Get this!

This whole story? It's not special to me. In fact, I'm one of over 2 million people dealing with the same crap.

Every one of us has had people make fake claims against our accounts, and 2 thirds of us lose said accounts through zero fault of our own.

The one common factor?

ADSENSE!!!

The account that this has happened to is linked to my AdSense. The harassment, bullying, trolling, death threats and fake claims all started when I linked it to AdSense.

The first YouTube channel I ever had dealt with this too. My CodenameSailorEarth channel. As soon as I linked it to AdSense, I got copyright claims galore, and mass amounts of trolling from all kinds of psychos I don't even know!

The trolling stopped when the account was shut down. But as soon as it went to CodenameSailorEarth2, it started up again. I was hacked, attacked, and now this copyright issue is back.

There are multiple groups who post fraudulent copyright claims on all types of videos. Everything from kittens to vlogs to cheap animations. Names such as "The Orchard Group" and random names from Malaysia, China, Korea and Japan crop up with no legit businesses behind them constantly permeate my inbox. And all of them target videos linked to AdSense.

And worse, there are NO people running the Google/YouTube pages anymore.

Oh sure, they employ thousands of developers, but the websites themselves are run by bots, tiny programs designed to police itself. It's old coding from the 90's, used for sites such as Pandorabots, but the problem is that they haven't really evolved to a point where they can work alone.

Here's how it works.
1. You post a video to YouTube.
2. The bot recognizes that the video is or is not linked with AdSense.
3. The bot scans the video for a melody or sound pattern that mimics already copyrighted data.
4. Whether or not the video has the same data, it's flagged anyway.

This is how it works for most videos. In my case:
1. Random phisher runs a search on AdSense videos. My name comes up at random.
2. Phisher makes a claim against my video. He does NOT need proof that his claim is valid, as there is NO bot to check for this. As long as the address is not from Gmail or Mail.com, the bot proceeds.
3. I get the "red screen of death" copyright notice.
4. I fill out the form.
5. YouTube sends the data to the Phisher.
6. He now has access to my information. Meaning that he can obtain all he needs to steal my I.D.
7. If he continues, I lose the account, and he gets a chunk of my AdSense revenue.

OR

7.a. The video stays up, but the ad revenue goes to his account, not mine, and a link to an Amazon or iTunes product appears on the right side of the "read more" screen, with sales going to him.

Nobody at YouTube is required to check claims for phishing nor are the bots trained to discern fake from real claims.

This is how many Toei Animation, Capcom and Crypton fans have lost their videos. While these three companies have nothing to do with the take-downs 98% of the time, anybody can pretend to be their representative  take your video down, and YouTube will not stand in their way.

Justin Bieber, OK GO and even the guy who invented Nyan Cat have all had the exact same thing happen to them in recent years. Lady Gaga even took to court a crazy man, who falsely claimed ownership of a song on her own YouTube account that she herself wrote and sang. All of these known celebrities have had to take YouTube/Google to task for people posting fake claims against them, and still, YouTube/Google refuses to fix the problem.

The answer is simple. Take the people you already have on payroll, and re-enlist them as the tech support you hired them as. Have them reprogram the broken page and help people over the phone. It's a free option. But of course, they won't do it.

My advice to you? Avoid AdSense like the plague it is. Don't put your identity at risk.

Also, file a report with the BBB if this has already happened to you. They already have a mile-long file on Google/YouTube so the proper address should auto-pop up.

It just did for me.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Stupidity about a shooting

I promise the next blog will not have anything to do with shootings, but I want to address a problem I have.

I didn't even get the chance to hit "post" on my last blog, before catching the most stupid, ignorant posts possible. But before I get to that, let me share a piece of information I received.

The mother of the shooter in Connecticut, not only owned the gun her son used to kill 20 children, she owned SEVERAL ~ including a military grade glock. She was one of those Fox News fans, and was 100% into the fear propaganda I'm still trying to wipe from my page. Yeah you know the kind, the one that is one tin foil hat away from believing that every guy with a tan is a terrorist.

Worse? She had a volunteer job at the school.

Why didn't the school do a background check ~ specifically looking for behavioral problems like this??

I can see her passing the criminal check, but if there are KIDS involved, shouldn't you be running personality checks too?? If this was my school, I'd be running mental checks on the family, just to keep the kids safe. Have we not learned from the many decades worth of stories about school faculty abusing and killing kids?

So with that in mind, onto the stupidity!

Here's what I'll do. I'm going to post in red the stupid things I've read, and in blue will be my response to them. Ready? Here goes!

Bryan Fischer claims that legalizing gay marriage is proof of 'sacrificing the well-being of children.
Where in the hell did you get that from?? First of all, you just committed blasphemy by declaring that God would kill children, based on Gays being allowed marriage. There is NO passage in the Bible that says God would have said "In the event that you allow Gays to live as Straight people, I will strike down a random school in CT." There wasn't even a CT when that book was written, and even if there was, I'm really sure God is against the smiting of innocence in cases like this. Second, the shooter and the victims have NOTHING to do with Gay anything, so why did you bother bringing that up??

Guns save lives, we should support the NRA.
I read this right as the death toll rose to 19 children. My eyes watered at how ignorant this statement was. These parents aren't even ready to claim the bodies yet, and already you're out here, praying to the all mighty gun?? What the hell is wrong with you??? There are DEAD children being pulled from the school, and all you can think about is what an awesome tool a gun is.

While I can buy the idea that it's not the weapon, but the psycho wielding it, (after all, the same day in China, another psychopath randomly slashed 22 kids with a knife for no reason) this is 100% NOT EVER AT ALL the time to post garbage like this!! Do you understand how bad that comes across?? That's like telling me how great MacGyver is on 9-12-01. And if you get the reference, have a cookie.

Public school is ALWAYS the better option. If they were homeschooled, they'd only be sheltered. Homeschooling is dumb, it keeps kids from the REAL world. They were better off in public school.
Ever since I was 8 years old, I have had these public school nimrods try to tell me how "Stupid" I am, because I was homeschooled. With the exception of two, most of them barely managed a C in school and are no better employed than their other Twitter trolls ~ who still live in Mommy's basement. 

You pick NOW to say this? Let's explore why you just offended me beyond all hope of recovery.

When I was homeschooled, I had access to more books, and all were unabridged. That's a big word that means "uncensored". Unlike the public school system ~ which teaches kids today that slavery was just a sad event, and that cotton grows on trees ~ I had access to books we now deem college ready. This also means that I had to read the uncensored cut of Mark Twain's novels, so while I read about characters he used the N word for, most schools just have him describing these persons of fiction as "kind slave with feelings". 

Furthermore, contrary to popular fiction, homeschooled kids are NOT:
1. Hobbits, holed up at home
2. Cave dwellers who wear tin foil hats
3. Stupid
4. 100% friendless and die alone
5. Incapable of understanding society and how to REALLY act around people.
6. Evangelical, religious nut cases, who refuse to hold hands with a guy/girl for fear of setting off "The Devil".

And our degrees are just as valid as yours.

Please do tell me where these fake, insensitive stereotypes come from. And please refrain from saying "I know people" because that is a very old excuse. Name names.

As far as this goes, the fact that you think that "sheltering" them was somehow "better" than letting them die by the hands of a madman, is truly scary. I'd rather teach a kid at home than to see his/her name come up as "of the dead".

And could you have picked a worse time to spout this rhetoric?? 

Think about it. Think really hard. This school FAILED these kids. They had a security system that sure, may have locked THEM in, but it didn't stop a madman from waltzing in and killing a whole floor of them.

The school FAILED to check and see if the woman "helping" at said school was a fear mongering gun nut, with a kid who was clinically insane.

The school FAILED to protect the kids and their teachers, and the survivors thereof had to rely on themselves ALONE. Saw in the paper today about a 6 year old boy who ALONE saved himself and a good number of children by ushering kids to safety. Two teachers risked their lives to shield the kids as well. One by locking everyone into a room, the other by acting as a shield. She died. Where was school security during this?? This was an expensive school, with tons of funding, you can't tell me they were without guards.

How can you champion a system that obviously FAILED these kids??

Video games and social media are to blame.
This comes from the fan-fiction writers at Fox News. Forbes already had a field day on this one. Wanna know why?

The shooter DIDN'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES!!!

Why? Because he had Asperger’s syndrome. And you don't hand a kid with Asperger’s syndrome anything that would stimulate them.

So how can you blame a video game he NEVER HAD on the shooting? 

Answer? You can't. Way to not do your research there, Fox.

Furthermore, I have several social media outlets. I have no desire to pick up a gun.

Movies caused this!
Again, nobody yet has said if the killer was into movies. And even if he was, there are NO current blockbusters about this type of thing.

It's God's Will.
God does not condone the slaughtering of 20 kids in a school. The people who spout this type of blasphemy are also the type that goes to church twice a week. That's really upsetting. You go to church, which teaches people that God is loving. And yet, you just said that. Out loud. What are you thinking??

It's because there are fewer women at home.
WOW when did Jerry Falwell get a Twitter? That's impressive for a dead guy. I didn't think they handed iPhones out in Hell. Well I'm pretty certain that if Gay marriage, video games and movies didn't cause this, a woman trying to earn enough to pay the light bill didn't cause this either.

It's because there is no God in school.
Once more, this is blasphemy. Now let me explain a few things about the Public School System and God.

1. The public school system is just that. PUBLIC. Meaning that like our government, it is free of the church. We have the separation of church and state, so we don't end up like the Taliban, forcing everyone to follow one God, and one way only of thinking.

2. We have the term "In God We Trust" on our money ~ which you need to pay for school lunches in school. Technically, He never left.

3. If you really are dumb enough to think He is absent from school, wait until test time. You might never see as much prayer in your whole life.

It's because women have abortions, even in cases of rape.
That is horrifying, disgusting, and makes NO sense. God would never allow the killing of 20 children, just because a woman who was raped chose not to carry to term her rapists's fetus, allowing it to re-shape and forever scar her body. Nor would he kill children who are alive, because a woman maybe had an abortion because it was eggtopic and they BOTH would have died, it was ill/injured beyond hope and would have been born dead, or because she doesn't have the money ti afford nine months of prenatal care our Government won't pay for, and her job won't either. Abortion is NEVER something a woman "just has" and to accuse God of murder because of it is blasphemy.

The Westboro Baptist Church blames the super Christian Carrie Underwood for "pimping Gay marriage".
... WOW that's actually the worst excuse I have heard all day. I just had to edit this blog to add that one. Seriously, where did that come from?? So... because some random singer happens to believe in equal rights, God decided to-THAT IS BLASPHEMY!!! Not only that, it makes NO blithering sense! There is no passage in the Bible, that says that if you support your gay friends, God will strike a school with violence. There is no logic at all behind that!

What I I noticed is that 98% of these comments are coming from the internet. People who feel secure and safe, arguing from behind a monitor. The same keyboard warriors that likely would cower under a table if they saw anybody they attack face-to-face.

I doubt any of you Twitter jocks would dare walk up to the grieving parents, and spout this. But go ahead, I dare you. Film yourself telling one of those parents how "guns save" or how much better off their kids were at that school, instead of home safe with them.

Tell me what they say. Let's put your money where your mouth is.

UPDATE: Well I guess someone took that seriously. Just a few minutes after this was posted, I got an email from my friend, Bill:

By the way, the Westboro Baptist Church is picketing the Sandy Hook school on Monday.
The official statement from Rev. Evil's daughter: "Westboro will picket Sandy Hook Elementary School to sing praise to God for the glory of his work in executing his judgment”

.... Wow, so these clowns just tried to not only justify, but praise God for the murder of 20 children?!?! And this cult hasn't been taken into custody yet???



He adds that in the past, they have blamed other shootings on Jews and Blacks. Here are a few more excerpts he shared with me:

In an interview, Margie Phelps said that her church was targeting the American Jewish community because church members had "testified" to Gentiles for 19 years that "America is doomed" and that "Now it's too late. We're done with them." Phelps also claimed Jews were "one of the loudest voices" in favor of homosexuality and abortion and that "[Jews] claim to be God's chosen people. Do you think that God is going to wink at that forever?" Phelps concluded by stating, in an apparent reference to the Book of Revelation, that all the nations of the world would soon march on Israel, and that they would be led by President Barack Obama, whom she called the "Antichrist"

11-year-old brain tumor victim Harry Moseley raised £500,000 for charity but Marge Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church criticized his family for not teaching him to "obey God". This comment within a few hours of the boy's death caused great distress to the bereaved

... Truly these are a Godless people, for they fail to realize something Bill and I both discovered.

Religion teaches us that God created man in his image. So that means God must be bi then since he created gay and straight man.


If you read the book of Genesis, you'd find that to be TRUE.

In an addendum, he informs me:

Fox won't be airing tomorrow night's Christmas episodes of Family Guy and American Dad for fear of offending the Sandy Hook victims despite neither episode having to do with gun violence. 

... So let me understand this. You are removing two comedy shows ~ unrelated to the shooting ~ because of the shooting. I'm going to take a wild guess and say it's because Joe (Family Guy) and the American Dad both carry guns..... no sorry, I can't think of why they would do this.

UPDATE #2: Anonymous just hacked the Westboro Baptist Church, after they announced they had plans to picket the funerals of each of the 20 children, accusing them of "having to die" because Gays want to marry. They were also planning to picket the funeral of a woman who was killed by the father of her child in a murder suicide. They claim she deserved to die because the father of her child was a football player, and thus an idol, so they were stupid enough to think she worshiped him more than God. Anonymous has since posted their personal information all over the internet.

They also plan to picket Obama's visit, claiming that he is the "Black Devil" and sign of the apocalypse  They don't get that this is racism and not just slander, but since he's the president, slander punishable in federal court as TREASON.

Therefore, God must have angels working in Anonymous. Thank you Anons. Keep up the good fight.


UPDATE #3 My brother had to process this news, he didn't take it well.:

UPDATE #4 The KKK, Anonymous and even UgNazi's now hate the Westboro Baptist Church, with the latter two having hacked the Twitter and website thereof.

Better? The hacker is a 15 year old Nazi. I seriously can't make this up.

He allegedly hacked the Twitter after the WBC posted a video claiming that "God" sent the shooter. I really can't blame their enemies on this.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Fallen Connecticut children

It's days like this that put anyone's life into perspective. I sat down today after a grueling trip, ready to talk about how badly I can't wait for my folks' divorce to be final, when I saw the most horrible news story possible.

27 dead, 20 of which are children, ages 5-10, in a deadly school shooting.

The gunman? In his 20's, and NO he did NOT get the idea from video games, reports Forbes.

Now as I type this, I'm still getting the news as it comes in. So I can't tell you what would posses a man to kill a school full of children, along with his own mother.  But I have a few questions, maybe someone out there can answer them, hopefully soon.

My first question? Where was school security?

We lock kids up like common animals, in buildings resembling state penitentiaries. We give them guards and metal detectors ~ things that we swear will protect them from this. And yet this guy was able to slip on through? How??

My next question, can you still support guns?

I try to be fair. I've softened a bit, so I can hear both sides out. It wasn't long ago that I saw a video of a little old lady who saved herself from being killed by shooting dead a home invader, but outside of isolated stories like this, how often have guns truthfully saved a life?

Tell me, outside of war-related invaders, what purpose does a gun serve? If you really think you need to protect yourself, you can buy a stun gun. They're cheap, re-chargeable, and have a lower fatality rate. I'm not even comfortable with a police officer holding a gun, when a taser is easier to use.

And why would you need a gun on a child, let alone a ton of them? I don't see any lives saved here.

My next question is really terrible, and I'd like to apologize right now if this sounds offensive.

The shooter had severe Asperger’s syndrome, the same syndrome that Ryan Cleary had.

We have tons of people with severe mental illnesses, being thrown into regular society with little care, expected to behave exactly the same as everyone else.

All we hand them is a little white or pink pill, with the side effects including suicide, homicidal thoughts and a wide range of other effects, that only seem to aggravate the cause.

We shut down mental hospitals and clinics around the country, and lie to these patients, insisting that they can behave like everyone else.

Then we act surprised when one of these people kills a room full of people, kills him/herself or starts hacking random strangers.

Isn't this enough? Do we need another shooting before we as a society decide to bring back the mental wards, bring in usable medications, and start addressing what's wrong?

Just once, I'd like to have any potential shooter ~ sick or healthy ~ to listen to the lyrics of Dear Shooter. Really think before you act:


UPDATE: The local news is reporting that the gunman's mother was the owner of the gun. If you know your kid is this mentally ill, WHY own a gun ~ AND keep it in plain view of him??

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Hands Across America's FarmAid for Sandy

Couldn't find a decent enough photo from last night's concert acts, so here's a lovely picture of my breakfast. Yum!

I tuned into Ion's edited stream of the #121212Concert for Sandy. Plenty of the usual pledge acts were there, including Eric Clapton, R.E.M., Billy Joel, The Who, bands that have padded a good chunk of their careers off of aid concerts.

As the acts warbled and screeched their way through half-songs, I saw images from the wreckage Sandy left behind. I counted my blessings that everyone I know out there is still alive, but I felt horrible that so many of them are facing the holidays without a stable home, clean water or even the lights on full time.

But I also felt frustrated.

Every time there is a terrible tragedy, we see one of these concerts. A bunch of 60's, 70's and early 80's acts come out, drone for 20 minutes each in a failed attempt to remember the lyrics, then we see a grand total of 3 current acts real quick speeding through a playlist of their recent hits, and then R.E.M. and Coldplay come on to sing a song that will make you feel like crying and sleeping at the same time. We have a few comedy acts remind us either how to laugh or how to feel like slapping a writer at NBC... and that's it.

The stars pat themselves on the back, and the funds are split between their crew and the people who own the stage. Whatever pittance is left is sent to a few unnamed charities.

Years go by, and the people who were affected end up cleaning up and rebuilding all by themselves with no money and nobody really getting in there to help. I don't hear about the concert again until a decade later, as part of a retrospective on "America came together" shows. (VH1's I Love The __'s comes to mind.)

You know what I don't see? And this is what frustrates me every single time this happens.

For one, I don't see any of these celebrities stopping the tour to bring fresh water and food to the victims. Who knows how many precious resources just went into this dry, boring concert. Food, water, electricity that should be going to the victims, not a guitar set for a near 50 year old, who just blew one of his biggest hits. (Dear Jon Bon Jovi, The lyric is "Gina works a Diner all day" not "Tina". Try to enunciate.) You can't whine to me about how many Grammy's they were handed, or how many decades they've spent on tour, when half of them couldn't even be bothered to comb their hair before coming on stage. Way to show you care, guys.

And by the way, someone should tell Billy Joel that "Only the good die young" is the most HORRIBLE choice for a concert raising money for the Sandy victims. Shame on you!! That's as bad as starting a fundraiser for sick kids with Louis Armstrong's "I'll be glad when you dead you rascal you" you should be ashamed of yourself.

I also don't see the utility companies stepping in to fund either this concert or any of the recovery efforts. Considering how much the average family in New York and New Jersey overspends on their monthly bills, you would think one of these companies would step in, restore power, and fund a recovery effort. I'd go so far as to say they should suspend billing these people until they at least have a tidy house to come home to.

But more, I'm appalled by the banks. They just ran a Chase commercial before the concert feed ended, and that boils my blood. America wasted untold amounts of money, bailing these clowns out, and how do they treat us? They don't fund any recovery efforts, they don't reimburse the public, and hell, they even forclosed on some of the people whose houses washed away! Not to mention we allow their CEO's to bully "the little guys" in the press, letting them call us such names as "lazy" and "good for nothing" and we let them send out call center jobs to countries that don't even speak English. The least they could do is to help fund the cleanup and home re-building in the NY/NJ area.

Every time this happens, they pass the buck onto the little guys. The people watching at home, who may not be able to make a pledge. $10 seems like nothing if you're Paul McCartney, but to a single mom or dad working minimum wage, let me explain what $10 looks like. $10 looks like one sixth of a light phone bill, lunch for you and maybe two kids ~ maybe. $10 looks like bus and train fare to work tomorrow, so they don't cut the lights out. $10 looks like gas in a low MPG car. $10 could even be the entire budget for Christmas. Wake up people, the economy is shit, and $7 an hour doesn't afford anything.

But if you don't donate, you're a loser. The media pokes fun at those who can't text in their $10, accusing us of being Godless heathens. Even now, Fox News is writing up a piece to make every poor person sound like the devil.

Haven't we had enough?

I think that we should petition, and try to get the banks, Hollywood, the overpaid music industry and any other fat cat to donate. Put your billions where your mouth is before you start picking on the rest of us.

Here, I'll help you. Click here to donate to the Red Cross.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Koriander Books Wrestlemania? HBK vs. Daniel Bryan!

Back in 2010, I was slamming my head into a desk, trying to figure out why... why in the name of Frank Gotch did NXT (not the Hulu show, which is actually GOOD) exist. I'm talking about the not-quite reality show that took the place of Not-ECW on SyFy. I'm no Heath Slater fan, but I imagine that the entire roster deserved better than (I'm not making this up) soda drinking competitions and pillows on sticks.

I saw a row of people with potential, Wade Barrett could have been WWE champion 2 times over by now if anybody paid attention to him, Justin Gabriel had the potential of being on more than just one episode of Superstars a month, but then there was Daniel Bryan. And more and more I could see that WWE was missing out on the best idea they had sitting on the roster.

Teacher vs. Student.

Bryan vs. Shawn Michaels.

C'mon people it books itself!!

Now granted, I didn't see the "psycho Bryan" story so far into the future, and Team Hell No has sort of been dropped on those who still watch on a regular basis with little warning, but back then I was thinking of something more simple.

Shawn was getting ready to retire. It made no blithering sense to throw him at The Undertaker again, knowing full well 'Taker was going to beat him half to death AGAIN. But Shawn was in between heel and face mode (tweener) which gave them all the chance in the world to book the match I was thinking of. Here, let me give you a sample:
I wrote out a story too:

Shawn Michaels is feeling jealous that his former pupil Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson) may take his spot in the WWE. So Shawn has secretly nudged "The Powers That Be" to hold Bryan back. Shawn's influence over the corporate WWE backstage crew, forces Bryan onto the low-cards and into a vicious make-over. Shawn believes erroneously that this will teach the boy "a lesson". Meanwhile, Bryan has had it with WWE forcing him down, and downplaying his abilities. He's figured out Shawn's plot and now seeks to dethrone the so-called "Mr. Wrestlemania" on the grandest stage of them all. Shawn is freaking out over the prospect of one day fading away as Bryan fights through the ranks. Bryan begins to see just how different he is from Shawn, and is upset that his former trainer does not hold the same morals as he does. The two set to face off at (fantasy) Wrestlemania. 

It's simple. A chimp can book it. A child on Red Bull can book it. It's really really SIMPLE.

I sent the idea to Bryan, and then shopped it around to anybody with an ear. 

I was adamant this had to happen. It works, makes sense, and if you set the stipulation to "loser leaves WWE" it gives Shawn a glorious Wrestlemania moment and a respectful exit.

Bryan spent Wrestlemania that year behind the curtain. Shawn was slaughtered by The Undertaker. Nobody at Creative bought the idea.

... Until now??

I crack open the Chicago Sun-Times from this past Sunday to see Blackjack Brown's column. Here's what he says:

Now if BlackJack Brown is telling the truth... that means I just booked Wrestlemania.

And WWE isn't paying me a dime for it.