Thursday, September 29, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Which got me thinking, there’s a simple way they “could” book themselves out of this jam, and everything they need is already on payroll.
Part one: Sin Cara
The next PPV is Hell in a Cell. This is simple, just book Cara vs. Cara vs. Bryan, with Bryan defeating them both. From here, the two Cara’s can resume their feud for however long the fans will put up with it, while Bryan moves on to…
Part two: A reminder of things past..
In October, the Screwjob DVD set will be out, so this would be a prime time to take advantage of HBK’s return to television. He and Bret can enjoy some back and forth spats, then come Survivor Series we can have Tyson Kidd (with Bret Hart in his corner) vs. Daniel Bryan (with HBK in his corner). From here, the events surrounding the two teams can help determine the next feud, which will be…
Part three: The Boyhood Dream of an American Dragon…
Considering the fire from the last few paragraphs, I would encourage Bryan to “shoot” from the hip on his former “trainer”. Just let loose, get everything off that Dragon’s chest, let him stop time and hold the audience with every story. HBK’s true morals are exposed, and we see the Heartbreak Kid for the same, backstabbing heel he was in the mid 1990’s. The American Dragon hits HBK with an elaborate expose faster than you can say “WWE ICE CREAM BAR”.
Now this feud would last until Royal Rumble. Initially I had penned this out for WrestleMania, but a tweet posted by a wrestler I’ve always respected, led me to change the course of this storyline…
Part four: A Regal entrance and The World’s Strongest departure…
William Regal recently tweeted that he would like his long overdue shot at the title. Why not give it to him? See I’ve penned in a title reign for Mark Henry that lasts through January, and from the end of December until Royal Rumble, he can have a feud with Regal. It can start with a simple conversation, where one will say to the other that they are the last of a dying breed. The last of the active 90’s wrestlers (if you will) and they can mention how they’ve had just a few chances to truly show which is the better man. This feud culminates at the Rumble, where Regal obtains his long coveted prize. After this, Mark Henry can either retire, knowing that he at least lost fair and square (NO BS here) or… end up on injury leave for the thousandth time. Whatever happens first. Either way, this removes Henry from the limelight.
A Raw wrestler wins the Rumble, clearing the WrestleMania SmackDown main event spot for…
Part five: The Final Countdown…
The stage is set for teacher vs. student at WrestleMania. In one corner, we have the robust William Regal, having had new life breathed into his career with the shiny gold belt, while on the other side of the canvas stands Daniel Bryan, confident that his quest for the gold is nearly over. There’s some back and forth bantering, a few weeks where one will come to ringside to watch the other wrestle, but there are no distractions between teacher and student.
Right at the 5 week mark, we have a contract signing, followed immediately by the start of a best of 5 series, with the final match scheduled for WrestleMania. Each week, the combatants have a different match:
Week 1: A simple exhibition
Week 2: A Brawl
Week 3: Queensbury rules
Week 4: Submission
Week 5: No disqualification, anything goes.
The final match takes place at WrestleMania, where Bryan finally picks up the win, after a grueling, 40 minute match with his mentor. The torch is passed, and finally, Bryan achieves not just the victory and the belt of accomplishment, but also vindication, knowing that he earned this title, after 2 years of televised suffering at the hands of the WWE.
It doesn’t take much to make amends for what has happened to this man, and hell, everything I typed out is already within the WWE’s massive “budget” and certainly took me no more than 5 minutes to type out.
The clock is ticking, and only time will tell if the WWE Creative Team has the brain power to muster into fruition this simple plan…
Of course, he could always choke a bitch out. That works too…
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Now for the record, I usually eat turkey bacon, which is thicker and less fatty than it's non-kosher counterpart. But this just sounded sooo tempting. Bacon that's GOOD for me? Made from vegitables and soy? Why surely this must be a good investment.
Ha ha ha.
So just a bit ago, I cooked up the entire box of Tempeh.
Serving size: 7 pieces per person.
Servings per container:2.
Mama wasn't hungry, so this was just enough for my brother and I.
I open the box to find all 14 strips sealed tight in a plastic sleeve... with NO way to pull it open.
You know, for all this crap about saving the environment, we as humans seem to do just the opposite. Here, let me make a healthy alternative to bacon using vegitables and soybeans, flavor it with all natural seasonings from trees, herbs and anything else I dig out of the ground, then heat-seal the strips inside a sleeve made of cancer causing plastic, lined with Gorrilla-Glue, and then slap the concoction into a cardboard box, made from a freshly chopped trees, dyed in questionable chemicals. Yes sir I am Eco-friendly!
So after taking a razor blade to the package, out come the contents onto a paper towel.
Hmm... about 4 times as thick as Turkey bacon, and if I may be so vulgar, it looks like baby poop. No matter, I've cooked uglier vegitable based foods before, and they tasted alright. Let's keep going.
Heat up 2 tablespoons of oil in a pan. When the oil is hot, place Tempeh strips into pan. Cook for two minutes on each side. In no time at all, you have delicious near-bacon that you can place in a sandwich or next to your favorite pancakes!
So I follow the directions, and place the first strip into the hot oil.
Oh shit. The first strip just absorbed ALL of the oil, leaving strips 2 and 3 bone dry.
So I added another 2 tablespoons of oil. Okay, this at least smells like maple.
2 minutes. Time to turn the bacon.
Wow, they ... they're crumbling. Bacon doesn't crumble. WTF? Okay okay, I can work with this, just turn it over for another 2 minutes.
..... That does not look like bacon.
I fried the strips an extra 2 minutes, until it at least stopped looking like poop and started looking like sausage with bacon contact paper glued to each side.
So I try a few pieces, each varying from well-done to a little burnt.
... That's very soft. Like bean paste and oil soaked potatos. And the taste is mildly maple, but VERY heavy on the soybean.
Now I will say this, I feel a little better for trying something new, but this was false advertising. This product is overpriced and lacks the look, feel and taste of bacon. Not reccomended.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Well if you’ve been reading my blogs to this point, then you already know that simple doesn’t always happen to me.
No sooner did I start my ill-fated search for my favorite manga, did Mama get an emergency phone-call from my dad. Did I mention that I’m happy they are separated? I should say that. So she dashes out of the store, leaving my brother and I to wonder about for a bit.
To my dismay, not only don’t they have Sailormoon and Sailor V, they’re downsizing the manga section at the Amazing Fantasy, chucking most of the titles that are interesting, (I.E. No more Gen 13, Tick, Manga University, Single issues of Darkstalkers or Pre-Current-52 DC, which is NOT the same as the last 52 that fucked up the continuity of Starfire’s storyline between her escape & meeting Dick Grayson) can’t seem to order more than 3 issues of Sonic or Mega Man if their lives depended upon it, refuse to carry ANY trading card that isn’t Magic, Yu-Gi-Oh or Little Monsters, and they won’t order ANY Starfire merchandise under $40, apparently. Suddenly, Amazon.com is looking REALLY good.
But fortunately, they still carry Tom Strong… from months ago. In fact hardly any of the shelves have a NEW issue of anything, save but for DC’s NEW 52 and a few kiddie comics. This is not a good sign, but screw it, Tesla and Val FINALLY got married and she’s pregnant (as of January’s issue) so I’m happy.
Well now that my comic questions have been answered, in comes my mother, looking very tense. “What happened?” I say with a droll tone, knowing I’m about to hear something absolutely stupid.
… And I’m right.
“Well I left your father in the emergency room” is how the conversation starts.
Hmm. No job, no insurance, we’re off to a GREAT start, folks! “Okay what happened?” I reply.
“Well remember when I bought him that electric lawn mower after we moved?”
I know what you’re thinking. Because I thought the same thing. That somehow this dolt had managed to chop off an appendage or two. I remember telling my mother NOT to let him have ANYTHING more dangerous than a push-mower, and I even made my brother stand witness as I declared that handing him anything with a motor would only cause chaos.
“No he didn’t chop anything off.”
“Ok what happened then?”
“Well he claims he needed the extension cord from the garage, and then another one.”
I know what you’re thinking. He could have electrocuted himself, fried himself, or run the lawnmower over one of the cords. He’s actually done the third thing before. No it isn’t any of those things either.
“He went into the garage to go get a cord. He had trouble getting around the big heavy boxes I told him not to stack one on top of the other.”
I know what you’re thinking. No nothing fell on him, and he did not crack his skull open.
“So he finds the cord just out of reach, on a shelf.”
“And even though he’s the moron that put it up there, he can’t reach it.”
And then she says something highly unlikely. In fact it was so stupid, the man behind the counter dropped what he was doing, and asked if he had really heard this.
“So he tried to stand on top of a glass aquarium to go get it. The fucker snapped, and shards of glass went into his leg.”
………. He tried to stand… on a glass, fish-less aquarium, to obtain an electrical cord.
I can’t make this up.
Now the aquarium had been left by the previous owner of my house. We’ve never had fish. It was left in the darkest corner of the attic, and this “genius” decided to move it to the garage, where he SWEARS he has “always” used it as a stool. “Glass is sturdy, why did it break under my weight?” He screamed to my mother.
So she took him to the hospital, and as they were removing one of several shards of glass, he spurted and passed out. He’s anemic. Great.
Now he has returned home, and is already goofing about his apartment. But needless to say this threw a monkey wrench into my Sunday.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
So this is one of the top secret projects I was working on from September of last year until this morning, the video that almost wasn’t:
And I have to say, it came out ok. Hard to believe this took me a whole year almost! Well, to understand where this video came from, let me take you back.
It’s September of 2010. I’ve been working on a secret DGUSA video for Bryan Danielson’s return to the promotion for a couple of weeks, and have just replaced my Windows XP machine with a brand new Windows 7. True, the old computer crashing means that several hours worth of work now has to be redone, but since I had backed everything else up, at least the worst was over. Plus, this machine is my dream computer, and cheap too! So everything is coming up roses.
Finally, after weeks of late night drawing sessions and coloring, the half live action/half animated video hits YouTube. Now below is a link to it’s new home on Topaz Videos, but let’s not get too far ahead yet. Here’s the video: http://moonsisters.org/moonsisters/TopazVideos/VideoPageS/Wrestling-DGUSABryanDanielson.html
Well the week of DGUSA, I show the video to Gabe. He loves it! Another fan is Bryan himself! So after that weekend, I pick up the pen, and start to work on the next animation.
Now I didn’t want to jinx this video. I LOVE surprising people with my cartoons, so I only told a few SUPER close friends what was going on. From September 28 until mid November, I’m just sketching away. At last, this is coming together and looking fantastic. As I’m getting ready to color though, something goes wrong.
Mama has a health scare.
Now I’m happy to report that she’s ok, but from November until January, my world is shot to pieces. On top of this, my family is facing one financial crisis after another, and there are people calling day and night, trying to collect on the debt of people who DO NOT LIVE HERE!! I documented what I could here: http://codenamesailorearth.blogspot.com/2010/12/why-ive-been-acting-shitty-through.html but I’ll be honest. I was having a breakdown. There was A LOT more going on, but let’s move ahead to-
Oh wait. I’m still in January? Why? What happened here? Oh wait… aw crap.
So after THAT gets settled, I start noticing an overfull Gmail-box. I’m getting hate mail from bitches I have never heard of before, upset that I like Bryan. Within hours, I’m being hounded with death threats and all kinds of rumors, and my Twitter is being screwed with.
Then my Facebook acts up, and I’m seeing replies to messages I didn’t write! And my Gmail emails keep getting swapped. (It’s always fun explaining to a Sailormoon fan that no, you didn’t mean to ask them to put someone in a choke hold, that email is meant for the wrestler who just got a deranged email about a pink Fuku.) OH GOODY! Well if I didn’t sound like an alien before, I bet I do now.
Well there’s nothing like death threats, jealous bitches and glitches to screw with your ability to draw.
And screw it did! So many of my drawings looked so ghastly! So after changing some of my account settings, I started calming down, and focusing on my work.
What was that? Oh SHIT!!
So YouTube pulls my first DGUSA video. Apparently someone threw a temper tantrum over Miku Hatsune singing “The Final Countdown” and instead of getting a grip like an ADULT, he or she blew the whistle and got the video pulled. Lovely. So now it’s time to emergency back it up onto Topaz Videos.
…. Which I didn’t realize until this point needed a major overhaul, because for SOME stupid reason, browsers made after I.E. 6 can no longer play videos from a simple < embed > < /embed > code. WOW! And OH GOODY!! YouTube is pulling another 42 videos on top of that. YIPPIE!! Guess who spent several sleepless weeks trying to fix THIS mess?
Ok. So now I have a second YouTube channel and a re-vamped website. Great. Let’s pick up the pen and draw somebody.
It’s Spring now, and the cartoon is starting to take form. Earlier sketches are being fixed up, and CIMA is the first one done. And just in time for the DGUSA iPPV! Groovy, now I’ll just enjoy myself this weekend, do some sketches as I watch, and then start the coloring process for the next wrestler.
By the end of that weekend, I have over a minute and a half of Jon Moxley vs. Jimmy Jacobs sketched out. All I have to do is shade and color. But this is great! The timing is PERFECT. I even drew in the chain and spikes. This is great. I can’t wait to color in-
*Breaking news ~ Moxley to become Dean Ambrose in WWE’s FCW*
Now for those of you who don’t animate, a minute and a half of HAND DRAWN animation equates to several hours. In some cases, more than a day. This is if you’re doing things by hand, with cheap materials and want to get the coloring right.
This is about 6 hours straight GONE from my life. I was challenging myself to stick to people still in DGUSA, so now I had to come up with a new plan.
This is also around the time that I opened up my new website, just for my cartoons: http://moonsisters.org/Koriander.html
So now I’m running three websites, working on more than one animation and drawing countless wrestlers. Okay, I’m doing good.
UNTIL Later that Spring, when I start seeing my name crop up on a Wiki Blacklist and on a hate site run by fanboys of Anonymous and Lulzsec. HUH??? Oh I see, a few people ages 16-30 threw a bitch fit over a CGI I did on a lark earlier this Spring, so now they think it’s “ok” to send me death threats, run a hate site on me, deface my family’s photos and stalk me. Oh, and then ask me to take a nude photo of myself, then hang myself. Right. REALLY??
Oh, and these people are also tagging every other wrestler under the sun in crude, pornographic photos… that they stole from a hacked porn site, who’s owner is now beside himself. Wow. Oh and now they’re tagging my pages and my friends in them too. And dumping a fake address, telephone number and my personal stats on the net, along with the phone number to the Wrestling Roundtable. Wow, this is getting better. 9_9
So this is two months of talking to police officers (who suggested that maybe it’s best they do nothing) FBI agents and SO many people who own every fucking site in existence, trying to get the stalking to stop. All the while, my internet attackers are hacking PBS Kids, and a shitload of other people. “It’s just for fun” “See we’re helping by taking away your privacy so everyone can see you’re WEAK!” are the “nice” messages these geniuses send along, when they’re not calling me “Sailor Whore Fuckhead”. Color me not shocked when I discover that the first morons arrested are between 17-24 years old. Oh, and a 59 year old too. Nice. I figure the rest of them are kids whose daddies never hugged them. “Daddy made me eat my veggies! I’ll show him by hacking people, Photoshopping porn pics onto Rebecca Black, and making everyone miserable. That’ll show you!!”
Okay. I’m backing away from that mess to focus on this cartoon. I just finished Shingo’s part. Ok, now I’m going to scan.
Scanner is slow.
Ok, I’m going to replace the scanner.
Brand new Kodak printer.
Ok, scanning is done, now to color. I’ll just open up Adobe Photodeluxe 2.0 and…
Oh this is NOT happening. I need this program to color. Oh oh ok. So Adobe and Kodak products don’t play along. Gotcha. Oh no, oh WTF? Did this program… AAAAGH it just ATE half of the sketches I was working on!! HALF OMG HALF that was 3 months of work GONE!! This isn’t happen- wait… am I crying … blood?
So three days of tech-non-support later, I come to the decision that after 15 years or so of Photodeluxe, it’s time to upgrade. So I download GiMP, which is backwards, hard to navigate, frustrating to use, but gives me the sharpest, cleanest pictures I’ve EVER made. Ok, learn the new software.
… A MONTH??? Did it just take me a month to learn this?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!
So now it’s July and – WHAT? What do you mean I’m traveling to southern Illinois? I already told you I can’t stand dad or his side of the family. NO I am NOT going. I’m 24 fucking years old. I’m a grown assed woman, you can’t guilt me. Besides, you two are separated!! I am NOT going to listen to you two fight for four hours down, four hours back, just so I can get picked apart in the middle by a bunch of people who never wanted me to begin with! Can you not see I am a quarter BLACK and they have ALWAYS resented the fuck out of that? LET GO LET GO!! I’M NOT GOING!! Wait… Grandpa’s sick? Fine fine.
So there’s three days down there. Fortunately, the economy’s bitchslapped the lot of ‘em, so I wasn’t picked apart THIS TIME, Grandpa’s alive and best of all, I got to hang out with my friends Jimmy Falcon and Richelle
Okay, back to the drawing b-WHAAAT?
Well kids, can you spell FORCLOSURE NOTICE?? I’m not typing this out again, the story is here: http://codenamesailorearth.blogspot.com/2011/07/guess-whos-close-to-homeless-victim-of.html
Okay, now I’m having splitting migraines, my allergies are all over the place, my muscles are tense and my stomach hurts. Time to draw!!
So between August and today, I threw myself into finishing the video. It’s shorter than I wanted, and I still have so many unfinished sketches, but really if I can get a chance like this again, it’s WAY worth it. I was even able to round it out with Creative Commons footage from DGUSA and a public domain track from http://freeplaymusic.com/
I hope you enjoy the cartoon a lot more than the story of how it was almost derailed. ^_^
Friday, September 2, 2011
Oh no..... Oh dear God no....
And I'm sorry to say that they are PROUD of this video!
I cleaned this up myself. So now you can see how this cheap company bastardized my favorite anime... color corrected and in HD!
You'll note that they made Jupiter handicapped, Mercury Asian, Moon White, and Venus and Mars different ethnicities. Also, Luna and Artemis are the SAME cat, a female.
Who are Toonmakers? Well here's how they describe themselves:
"Toon Makers Inc. was founded in 1991 to provide superior quality Animation and Production Management for feature films, television, commercial productions and interactive games. Our client list includes Universal Studios, Fox, Disney, ABC, Turner Entertainment, Warner Brothers, Film Roman, Saban, Colgate, Burger King and Bandai (USA) Toys.Our studio has contributed animation and production management for the feature films "The Pagemaster," "Once Upon a Forest," Tom and Jerry the Movie," "Fern Gully" and "Thumbelina." Television projects include "The Pink Panther," "Fievel Goes West," "Back to the Future," "The Adventures of Oliver Twist," "Spy Dogs," " Flint the Time Detective," Bad Dog" and "Mon Colle Knights" among others.Toon Makers’ producers have overseen the production of over 200 half hours of animation for Fox Family, Fox Kids Network and ABC Family and our Development Team created and produced pilots for Bandai International (Sailor Moon) Levy-Mann (Itty Bitty Heartbeats) and Colgate Palmolive (Doctor Rabbit and the Adventures of Tooth Kingdom).Current projects in production include "Phantom of the Opera," The Ornament" "Dick Danger Space Mercenary" and "The Adventures of the Talking Crayons" as well as educational programming for Colgate International and The National Nutritional Network.Animation, Character Design, Illustrations, Writing, Music, Pitch Packaging and Branding are just a few of the services provide by Toon Makers. Our studio provides 2D/3D animation along with Digital Ink and Paint, Motion Capture, Live Action and Live Action/Animation Composite. Toon Makers will provide everything needed to take your animation or live action project from "Concept to Screen.""
And this is the Wikipedia entry about the video:
The Toon Makers Music VideoWhen Sailor Moon was up for bids by Toei to be produced in North America, Renaissance-Atlantic Entertainment, who worked closely with Bandai and Toon Makers, Inc., conceptualized their own version of the property, which was half live-action and half Western-style animation. Toon Makers produced a 17-minute proof of concept presentation video, as well as a two-minute music video, for this concept, which Renaissance-Atlantic presented to Toei. Toei ultimately rejected Renaissance-Atlantic's bid because the series as Renaissance-Atlantic and Toon Makers envisioned it would have cost significantly more than simply exporting and dubbing the original anime. The music video was exhibited at a panel at Anime Expo 1998 by Allen Hastings, then with NewTek, Inc., and met with scorn, ridicule, and derision. A convention attendee taped the music video off the screen and uploaded the footage, which includes an introduction by Hastings and brief comments by other convention attendees afterwards, to the Internet. The clip has since been copied numerous times and can currently be viewed on many streaming video sites. Because of the relatively poor quality of the source video and circulated footage, many anime fans believed that the music video was actually a leaked trailer for the now-inactive project instead of an exhibition of a promotion piece. Additional copies of the footage, with Hastings' intro excised, have since been uploaded to the Internet and served only to bolster the mistaken belief. Because Renaissance-Atlantic had previously been instrumental in Saban Entertainment's acquisition of Toei's Super Sentai series for reimagining as Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, people who viewed the music video mistakenly believed that Saban had actually created it and began to call it "Saban Moon." The Toon Makers music video has been called a worst-case scenario with regards to how Sailor Moon would have been presented in North America, in comparison to the original anime episodes that were eventually dubbed by DIC Entertainment and Cloverway Inc. and aired. Rocky Solotoff, Toon Makers' president and founder, wrote, directed, and produced the pilot episode of Renaissance-Atlantic's version of Sailor Moon, which to this day, has not been exhibited publicly.All five Guardian Senshi are depicted in the music video. Though Solotoff is legally prohibited from divulging much information regarding the Renaissance-Atlantic/Toon Makers version of Sailor Moon, he does reveal, in an interview with Animefringe magazine, the origin of the concept and music video, debunking many of the stories and speculations that had been connected to both. Details revealed in the interview include confirmation that both a white and black cat were planned to be in the series, although only a fluffy white cat is seen in the music video (according to the lyrics, this cat was meant to be Luna), and that each Senshi was written to be of a different nationality.Two curious remnants of Toon Makers' involvement with Sailor Moon remained after Renaissance-Atlantic shelved the project. The Renaissance-Atlantic series featured vehicles which did not appear in the original metaseries. One of these was the Moon Cycle, which Bandai manufactured a toy version of as part of the North American line of Sailor Moon toys. The Moon Cycle toy remains one of the more curious pieces of Sailor Moon merchandise produced for the North American market. More prominently, the Sailor Moon logo featured at the end of the music video was retained as the official North American Sailor Moon logo for the metaseries and all related programs and merchandising.
Let us never forget the horror... of Saban Moon.
The ONLY way to see Sailormoon is uncensored and as the series was originally made.