Remembering Bison Smith

Bison Smith could make you believe in whatever story he was in. He could be scary, he could be fierce, but when I met him, he was also humble.

A polite wrestler I saw standing on the bleachers at the Frontier Fieldhouse in 2009, who didn't have a bad word to say about anyone.

He passed away today from heart complications at only 38.

Update: Current word was that it was cardiac arrest, as announced by Dutch Mantell on his Facebook. He was in Puerto Rico for a match scheduled for WWC.

I was an unearthly child.

Tuesday morning ~ I had never gone to bed. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t sleep. Wide awake and tense, I could feel something in the air, but I didn’t know what.

I stayed by the window, just watching, waiting. The postman was coming up, and being that the postmen and women out here have been known to chuck the mail at my house and run away like so many “ding dong ditchers” I knew it would be best for me to keep lookout, if I couldn’t sleep.
Finally, the postman ran up, checking at my doorstep a package that was two days early. I had a gut feeling it was the $12.56 I had just spent, shipping included, returning to me in the form of something rare.

Upon opening the package, I was delighted to see a polite “thank you” post-it from half.com (by way of Amazon) and beneath that, the very book I had waited 20 years to own…

Now, to tell you this story, I have to go back in time. WAY back.

I was brought up a Whoite by my mother. For those who don’t know, that’s the old term for a Doctor Who fan. Today, Hollywood calls us “Whovians” but once we were Whoites. Each Sunday night, we’d watch Star Trek : The Next Generation, the pop on over to WTTW (Chicago’s PBS station) to watch Doctor Who. The episodes came to us mixed up, way out of order. Some nights, we’d watch one episode with Doctor #3 (Jon Pertwee) followed by two episodes with Doctor #4. (Tom Baker) Other nights we’d watch Doctor #7 (Sylvester McCoy) travel through time and space with his companion, Ace.

When I was 5, not yet 6, I went to the school library one day, and discovered this book, sitting on a tall shelf that nobody went near.

Who would believe it? It’s not an educational book, so how did it end up here?

What’s more is that NOBODY at the school had EVER heard of Doctor Who before!
But somehow they had acquired this book.

The book was written in 1986, so it’s as old as I am. It’s an alphabetized list of companions the Doctor had (up through Mel) with notes written by the late John Nathan Turner, who worked on Doctor Who from the late 1960’s until 1989, and from there appeared for many other Doctor Who related projects until his death in 2001.

Every week, I would check this book out, along with 2-5 other books. Nobody else wanted that book, so I never saw the harm in it.

Too bad the librarian did.

Every week, I would be bitched out by the librarian and school faculty ~ many of whom I did NOT know personally ~ because they were sick of me checking out the same book.

Mama would have to come to my defense every week, proving with book reports and photos that I WASN’T just reading “that book” but many others as well. In fact, I would re-read the book after my homework, as a present to myself.

“Koriander needs to stop hogging that book so the other children can borrow it!”

The 9th time I heard that lame excuse, I brought over all of my classmates, my bullies, and even children from other classes. Each boy and girl told the truth. They didn’t know anything about Doctor Who, didn’t want to know anything, were sick of me even bringing it up, and furthermore they did NOT want that book.

“Koriander needs to broaden her horizons! She can’t ONLY read about Doctor Who.”

After my verbal report on the beheading of Marie Antoinette ~ complete with a scaled model re-enactment involving a Barbie doll and a working guillotine I had made out of popsicle sticks, this myth of me being closed-minded was busted.

I was doing extra schoolwork, which actually pissed off the school board. They threatened to hold me back a year, just because I was “showing them up”.

I was being punished for being a studious child, and liking a book they didn’t want me to have.
Finally, they banned me from the library all together. Yes, they banished a child from learning. Way to go Kenwood in Hammond, Indiana! Ignorance really is bliss, ain’t it?

In 1993 I moved to Virginia Beach. There, I was sent to Glenwood.

I was depressed, almost 1000 miles away from family, in a climate I wasn’t used to, I felt that every day was a living hell…

Until I went to the school library…

And found…

THAT book!!

I couldn’t believe my eyes. There in the non-fiction section was this book once more. I resumed checking it out, weekly.

UNTIL!!!!

A very snarky and RUDE librarian decided to make a bitter enemy out of me. She tried imposing limits on what I could check out, only allowing me that book if I checked out a certain number of titles. She didn’t believe that I could even finish more than 5 a week.

So I checked out 15 chapter books.

THEN that book.

THEN wrote 15 short reports on what each book was about.

She was livid, accusing me of plagiarism, Cliff Notes and lying.

I presented her with photos of me doing 15 books worth of homework.

I then stuck my tongue out.

And was sent to the principal’s office for insubordination.

Again, Mama came to my defense on a weekly basis, fighting for my right to read whatever I wanted. How could it be that yet ANOTHER school was trying to keep her kid from gaining an education, just because of one damn book??

And again, when the topic of “other children” came up, I had grades K-8 come to my defense, telling the librarian and the faculty that they did not care about or want to check out that book. EVER. Under ANY pretenses.

Fast forward to the Spring of 1994.

I had accidently spilled bubble solution on the book.

Fearing the worst, I ran to my mother, crying.

She herself being a former librarian, took the book aside and got the bubble suds out.
Miraculously, it was now CLEANER than it had been before! And not one word or picture damaged.

The school librarian STILL pitched a fit, charging my mother $14 for the damage.

“But the book is cleaner now than it was BEFORE Kori had it!”

“You still owe us for her damage.”

“How about I buy the book outright, and get you a replacement?”

“NO!! You’re trying to bribe me. You need to make restitution!!”

“… WTF do you think that is??”

The librarian wouldn’t budge.

Within a few weeks, I was BANNED from that library too, with the librarian even LAUGHING in my face about it! “HA HA Just TRY and get the book NOW! Serves you right.”

Serves me right? For WHAT? Enjoying a good book? Doing my schoolwork? You BAN a child for this? Fuck you!

It was one of several times I was not sorry to be sent to the principal’s office. For the record, Mama actually agreed with my colorful statement.

So for the remainder of my time in Virginia, she took me to the Virginia Public Library… which had THAT and one other Doctor Who book!

And that team of librarians never cared how many times I checked it out.

But alas, I soon departed for New Jersey, and wouldn’t see any copy of that book again…


For years, I tried to find another copy, even tried unsuccessfully to buy out the copies my old schools had, but nobody wanted to give it up. EBay searches came up empty, and even the vast internet couldn’t grant me any more knowledge of that book.

… Until last week.

While filling out my birthday wish list, I stumbled upon the book by mistake. At first, the book was out of my price range, but the seller ~ without my ever contacting ~ dropped the price! For $12.56, the long search was over.

Which takes me back to Tuesday, when I unwrapped the book.

It smells just the same as before. That same sweet and woodsy smell, reminiscent of bubble suds. (I checked, this isn’t a school’s book. It’s fresh.)

A first edition from 1986, the same year this fire tiger was born.

With all it’s outrageously 80’s artwork intact.

A 20 year odyssey for an unearthly child.

It’s not what you think. But it’s close.

I went to the comic book store today, hoping to find Sailormoon and Codename Sailor V. The new books are due out this week, and I’m anxious to see them. My brother just wanted the latest Sonic and Mega Man comics from Archie. This sounds like a simple day, right?

Well if you’ve been reading my blogs to this point, then you already know that simple doesn’t always happen to me.

No sooner did I start my ill-fated search for my favorite manga, did Mama get an emergency phone-call from my dad. Did I mention that I’m happy they are separated? I should say that. So she dashes out of the store, leaving my brother and I to wonder about for a bit.

To my dismay, not only don’t they have Sailormoon and Sailor V, they’re downsizing the manga section at the Amazing Fantasy, chucking most of the titles that are interesting, (I.E. No more Gen 13, Tick, Manga University, Single issues of Darkstalkers or Pre-Current-52 DC, which is NOT the same as the last 52 that fucked up the continuity of Starfire’s storyline between her escape & meeting Dick Grayson) can’t seem to order more than 3 issues of Sonic or Mega Man if their lives depended upon it, refuse to carry ANY trading card that isn’t Magic, Yu-Gi-Oh or Little Monsters, and they won’t order ANY Starfire merchandise under $40, apparently. Suddenly, Amazon.com is looking REALLY good.

But fortunately, they still carry Tom Strong… from months ago. In fact hardly any of the shelves have a NEW issue of anything, save but for DC’s NEW 52 and a few kiddie comics. This is not a good sign, but screw it, Tesla and Val FINALLY got married and she’s pregnant (as of January’s issue) so I’m happy.

Well now that my comic questions have been answered, in comes my mother, looking very tense. “What happened?” I say with a droll tone, knowing I’m about to hear something absolutely stupid.

… And I’m right.

“Well I left your father in the emergency room” is how the conversation starts.

Hmm. No job, no insurance, we’re off to a GREAT start, folks! “Okay what happened?” I reply.
“Well remember when I bought him that electric lawn mower after we moved?”

I know what you’re thinking. Because I thought the same thing. That somehow this dolt had managed to chop off an appendage or two. I remember telling my mother NOT to let him have ANYTHING more dangerous than a push-mower, and I even made my brother stand witness as I declared that handing him anything with a motor would only cause chaos.

“No he didn’t chop anything off.”

“Ok what happened then?”

“Well he claims he needed the extension cord from the garage, and then another one.”

I know what you’re thinking. He could have electrocuted himself, fried himself, or run the lawnmower over one of the cords. He’s actually done the third thing before. No it isn’t any of those things either.

“He went into the garage to go get a cord. He had trouble getting around the big heavy boxes I told him not to stack one on top of the other.”

I know what you’re thinking. No nothing fell on him, and he did not crack his skull open.
“So he finds the cord just out of reach, on a shelf.”

“Okay”

“And even though he’s the moron that put it up there, he can’t reach it.”
“Okay…”

And then she says something highly unlikely. In fact it was so stupid, the man behind the counter dropped what he was doing, and asked if he had really heard this.

“So he tried to stand on top of a glass aquarium to go get it. The fucker snapped, and shards of glass went into his leg.”

………. He tried to stand… on a glass, fish-less aquarium, to obtain an electrical cord.
I can’t make this up.

Now the aquarium had been left by the previous owner of my house. We’ve never had fish. It was left in the darkest corner of the attic, and this “genius” decided to move it to the garage, where he SWEARS he has “always” used it as a stool. “Glass is sturdy, why did it break under my weight?” He screamed to my mother.

So she took him to the hospital, and as they were removing one of several shards of glass, he spurted and passed out. He’s anemic. Great.

Now he has returned home, and is already goofing about his apartment. But needless to say this threw a monkey wrench into my Sunday.

Moonies in distress? Toonmakers rises from the dead!

Oh no..... Oh dear God no....

Toonmakers... LIVES!!???
http://www.toonmakers.com/
And I'm sorry to say that they are PROUD of this video!

I cleaned this up myself. So now you can see how this cheap company bastardized my favorite anime... color corrected and in HD!



You'll note that they made Jupiter handicapped, Mercury Asian, Moon White, and Venus and Mars different ethnicities. Also, Luna and Artemis are the SAME cat, a female.

Who are Toonmakers? Well here's how they describe themselves:

"Toon Makers Inc. was founded in 1991 to provide superior quality Animation and Production Management for feature films, television, commercial productions and interactive games. Our client list includes Universal Studios, Fox, Disney, ABC, Turner Entertainment, Warner Brothers, Film Roman, Saban, Colgate, Burger King and Bandai (USA) Toys.Our studio has contributed animation and production management for the feature films "The Pagemaster," "Once Upon a Forest," Tom and Jerry the Movie," "Fern Gully" and "Thumbelina." Television projects include "The Pink Panther," "Fievel Goes West," "Back to the Future," "The Adventures of Oliver Twist," "Spy Dogs," " Flint the Time Detective," Bad Dog" and "Mon Colle Knights" among others.Toon Makers’ producers have overseen the production of over 200 half hours of animation for Fox Family, Fox Kids Network and ABC Family and our Development Team created and produced pilots for Bandai International (Sailor Moon) Levy-Mann (Itty Bitty Heartbeats) and Colgate Palmolive (Doctor Rabbit and the Adventures of Tooth Kingdom).Current projects in production include "Phantom of the Opera," The Ornament" "Dick Danger Space Mercenary" and "The Adventures of the Talking Crayons" as well as educational programming for Colgate International and The National Nutritional Network.Animation, Character Design, Illustrations, Writing, Music, Pitch Packaging and Branding are just a few of the services provide by Toon Makers. Our studio provides 2D/3D animation along with Digital Ink and Paint, Motion Capture, Live Action and Live Action/Animation Composite. Toon Makers will provide everything needed to take your animation or live action project from "Concept to Screen.""

And this is the Wikipedia entry about the video:

The Toon Makers Music VideoWhen Sailor Moon was up for bids by Toei to be produced in North America, Renaissance-Atlantic Entertainment, who worked closely with Bandai and Toon Makers, Inc., conceptualized their own version of the property, which was half live-action and half Western-style animation. Toon Makers produced a 17-minute proof of concept presentation video, as well as a two-minute music video, for this concept, which Renaissance-Atlantic presented to Toei. Toei ultimately rejected Renaissance-Atlantic's bid because the series as Renaissance-Atlantic and Toon Makers envisioned it would have cost significantly more than simply exporting and dubbing the original anime. The music video was exhibited at a panel at Anime Expo 1998 by Allen Hastings, then with NewTek, Inc., and met with scorn, ridicule, and derision. A convention attendee taped the music video off the screen and uploaded the footage, which includes an introduction by Hastings and brief comments by other convention attendees afterwards, to the Internet. The clip has since been copied numerous times and can currently be viewed on many streaming video sites. Because of the relatively poor quality of the source video and circulated footage, many anime fans believed that the music video was actually a leaked trailer for the now-inactive project instead of an exhibition of a promotion piece. Additional copies of the footage, with Hastings' intro excised, have since been uploaded to the Internet and served only to bolster the mistaken belief. Because Renaissance-Atlantic had previously been instrumental in Saban Entertainment's acquisition of Toei's Super Sentai series for reimagining as Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, people who viewed the music video mistakenly believed that Saban had actually created it and began to call it "Saban Moon." The Toon Makers music video has been called a worst-case scenario with regards to how Sailor Moon would have been presented in North America, in comparison to the original anime episodes that were eventually dubbed by DIC Entertainment and Cloverway Inc. and aired. Rocky Solotoff, Toon Makers' president and founder, wrote, directed, and produced the pilot episode of Renaissance-Atlantic's version of Sailor Moon, which to this day, has not been exhibited publicly.All five Guardian Senshi are depicted in the music video. Though Solotoff is legally prohibited from divulging much information regarding the Renaissance-Atlantic/Toon Makers version of Sailor Moon, he does reveal, in an interview with Animefringe magazine, the origin of the concept and music video, debunking many of the stories and speculations that had been connected to both. Details revealed in the interview include confirmation that both a white and black cat were planned to be in the series, although only a fluffy white cat is seen in the music video (according to the lyrics, this cat was meant to be Luna), and that each Senshi was written to be of a different nationality.Two curious remnants of Toon Makers' involvement with Sailor Moon remained after Renaissance-Atlantic shelved the project. The Renaissance-Atlantic series featured vehicles which did not appear in the original metaseries. One of these was the Moon Cycle, which Bandai manufactured a toy version of as part of the North American line of Sailor Moon toys. The Moon Cycle toy remains one of the more curious pieces of Sailor Moon merchandise produced for the North American market. More prominently, the Sailor Moon logo featured at the end of the music video was retained as the official North American Sailor Moon logo for the metaseries and all related programs and merchandising.

Let us never forget the horror... of Saban Moon.

The ONLY way to see Sailormoon is uncensored and as the series was originally made.

Tyson Kidd vs. Bryan Danielson ~ Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

(© Koriander Ake)

Survivor Series.
HBK in Bryan's corner.
Bret Hart in Tyson Kidd's corner.
Coming off the heels of the "Screwjob" DVD set coming out Oct. 28th.
Book it.

How HHH handles a Wellness Policy Violation

© Koriander Ake

Guess who’s a close to homeless victim of Predatory Lending??

Well you know I’m having the King of all Shitty days… when even my dad tries to reconcile with me. O_O Wait what the hell did I say??

Now let me start by saying that GSF, CitiMortgage and Nationstar are the WORST MORTGAGE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!!

My parents bought a home in 2007. The loan came from GSF, who promptly sent the mortgage off to Citi, shortly after the ink was dry on the home papers.

Now this followed almost a YEAR’S worth of house hunting, via GSF’s chosen realty ~ McColly. GSF refused to let my parents choose anyone else, AND the money they were allotted was ONLY to be used for “specific kinds” of homes. If ever a lender tells you this, walk away. This is a SCAM ALERT.

So after almost a year, we find the home I’ve been living in. We’re told that it’s in great shape, built in 1915, quaint little farm house.

This is warning #2 ~ Let me clarify words you need to stay the fuck away from when house hunting:

Quaint/Cute/Charming/Cozy ~ This is Realty code for “small, in need of assloads of repair”.

Fixer-upper ~ This is code for “Health code violation, bulldoze immediately”

As-is ~ This is code for “Tow’ up from da flow’ up”

Old/Old Fashioned ~ Falling apart, handyman special.

Needs TLC ~ This is code for “one wall is primarily mold and there’s water damage in places I bet you wouldn’t guess”.

Farm House ~ Unless you can visibly see cows and chickens in the backyard, this is code for PEST PROBLEMS. And NO seeing cornstalks doesn’t count, as this is the Midwest, and even if it was hypothetically the south of Alaska, corn seeds are dirt cheap at your local Wal*Mart. If you don’t see livestock IT AIN’T A FARM HOUSE!!

So guess what my parents bought? Yep, you guessed it. A three-story, Old fashioned, As is, Quaint, cute, charming, cozy, Fixer-upper Farm House in need of TLC. I slap myself in the face every morning for ever liking this place. I really do.

Oh even better? My parents wanted 2 fireplaces, and for a home to be in an area devoid of schools and children.

We have NO fireplaces, a pool that needs to be torn down, 15 schools and a buttload of kids on the block. Oh and it’s a corner house, and the former owner had TWO people slam into the front of it, which is why there is a make-shift porch. Isn’t this lovely? And 3 fireworks stores, with a fourth one built just a mile from here. Ah sweet! >_O Grr…

My parents were told in front of me, that their mortgage would be between $8-900. Cheaper than Illinois rent I tell you!
Guess what? As soon as we started moving the first boxes in, payments ballooned up to over $1000 a month.

Now when things started going straight for the shitter financially, after both my folks lost their jobs, Citi offered to ship the debt to the end of the 40 year mortgage, and then just start working on the next year’s payments. Mama was put on a payment plan. “Everything’s fine” we were told.

Guess what? Citi sold the mortgage to Nationstar!

Nationstar refuses to honor the payment plan agreement. But they offered to put Mama on a new payment plan. “Don’t worry about it. Everything’s fine. Just send us an assload of paperwork for the next 6 months, and we’ll pretend we never got it, and blame our stupidity on you.”

So Mama thought we could refinance the place. They paid $126,900 for it via the GSF loan, but the house is actually worth $90,000. We just had it re-assessed. So she begins the paperwork with Nationstar to work out a new deal.

In the mail this past Saturday, as I’m getting shit ready to go to downstate to see my dad’s family, we get some letters from the post man.

The Sherriff is promising foreclosure.

There was some mindless yelling, and then I went in search of help for my folks.
This is what I found:

http://www.complaintsboard.com/bycompany/nationstar-a46637/bydate.html

And that’s not all! A search via www.ripoffreport.com pulls up dozens more complaints with the EXACT SAME STORY as my parents!

So Nationstar is a known predatory lender, who buy up mortgages, force Americans out of their homes, and then try to turn a profit. The company almost went belly-up in 2007, and since then, they have had a rotating roster of people for a majority of their executive heads. Another search via www.simplyhired.com turns up some surprising job openings for their Texas main offices. The turnover rate is astounding.

After pulling up several hours worth of information, I shared all of it with my folks. The news was enough that my father… actually tried to make amends with me.
“You know I never really wanted you to deal with this. I hope you know I do care about you.”

O_O My first thought was “Oh no… am I having a stroke? I think I’m hallucinating.”
“And I do want better for you.”

Hmm… I can still feel my left side. I’m not foaming at the mouth yet, am I??

“And I feel bad that we don’t really talk at all.”

I haven’t passed out yet. Maybe he’s the one having a stroke?

“I just hope you know.. I love you.”

No, his left side is still working. His jaw hasn’t clenched up. And *sniff sniff* he’s sober?? Wait, where’s the hidden camera?

“I wish we could work out why you feel the need to hate me.”

Okay, backhanded comment. Maybe I’m not dying… or crazy.

Now everything is still up in the air. I don’t know if we can save the house and at this point, my parents really want to move. I’m not sure what’s available right now, but things are pretty tight. And the housing market isn’t looking very bright up here.



If you’re in need of a cartoonist that can also build websites, hit me up. I desperately need some paying work and FAST.