Saturday, May 25, 2013

When I was 12, I was DRINKING Coke, not doing "coke"!!!

April 20th, I wrote about screaming at the neighbors again, after dealing with their dogs and their pot smoking, beer drinking 6-8 year olds. I had until today to NOT deal with them again. A month and five days has to be a record for me not to have to scream at people. I was very pleased to have a tiny bit of peace.

.... Too bad that had to stop.

As I'm enjoying a cup of coffee with my mom, we hear banging against the house. Imagine a woodpecker with a hammer, and that's about the sound I heard.

I dash to the window to see two blonde boys, under MY bushes, no older than 12, in new jackets from The Gap....... dealing.

Mama beat me to racing to the door, and started screaming for the boys to buzz off. They had little bags of white and green crap, and I can assure you that there is NO candy currently on the market, that needs you to consume it with a razor blade.

Good, so pot smoking 8 year olds and beer drinking 6 year olds just aren't bad enough. Now it has to be cocaine snorting 12 year olds. Great.

The boys ran past their mom, who saw nothing wrong with the boys "having their fun" and everything wrong with my mom defending our house.

What happened?

I remember being 12 years old, and okay, I wasn't the greatest 12 year old girl, but at least I wasn't selling drugs! *Pulls up pants, makes "old people" frowny face*

When I was their age, I thought I was a little badass.

... Ok not too little maybe. I was almost my adult size... I'm 5'4 so maybe little is... WHO CARES!

I found humor with sticking a naked troll figure on the top of my pencil, and then going to use the electric sharpener with the doll still on.

I listened to Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Disturbed and I can't tell you how many sugary pop songs, that were really all about sex and drinking. Pick up a pop CD from 1999 once in a while, READ the lyrics. I'm not kidding!

I hand sewed my own Digimon and Pokemon whenever I couldn't "Catch 'em All" at the local K-Mart. I didn't even care about bootleg goods, thinking that every underground anime VHS was just one more way for me to stick it to "The Man" who wanted $100 per tape at the local Suncoast Video, Coconuts Video and Entertainment, Hollywood Video or Blockbuster.

.... Wow I just dated myself.

I watched MTV and actually thought it was a window to the world.

I had a small chain in my pocket, and knew how to whip it around. (It's rather thin, but still.)

I played Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 on the SNES with all of the blood and gore turned ON. I even used a cheat code to unlock bigger characters like Shao Kahn, so I could really increase the violence. When I wasn't playing that, I was playing War Gods on the N64 or Rampage World Tour on Playstation 1, letting my monster step on nuns, eat handfuls of children and puke cigarettes.

ECW was my heart and my soul, I couldn't sleep well unless I thought about someone's head being cracked with a kendo stick.

But do you know what I was dealing at age 12?


I was listening to some heavy adult stuff, but at 12, I wasn't dumb enough to do drugs, deal drugs or have anything to do with drugs.


Because my mom would have beat the crap out of me if I had.

These parents behind my house?

They won't even say the word "no" to their kids. Not even in a NICE tone of voice.

What happened?

Did I fall asleep when I was 12, and just missed the congressional hearing, where it was determined that parents should be permissive twats? Did I miss the day, when every pre-1980 born adult just suddenly decided that parenting is "too hard" for their wee little senses to take?

Why is it so many parents are so quick to bully their kids out of a meal, in fear of the "Obesity Fairy", scream at them for licking lollipops, but when it comes to swearing, (another thing I actually didn't do at 12) begging for electronics, hanging around obviously BAD kids and apparently trying drugs or the bottle, do these idiots shrug their shoulders and say 'DERP ohhhh well?" when obviously this is the point where the word "NO" is actually appropriate for a change??

At 12 years old, I was content to have a Jell-O pudding cup, a carton of whoppers and a Coca-Cola.

I drank Coke, I never DID coke.

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