Sunday, March 3, 2013

The naming of the wrestlers must STOP

When I was a little girl, wrestlers had powerful names. Some were even menacing. They brought excitement and intimidation to the ring, and you could hold your head up high when reciting their titles.

Hawk, Animal, Ultimate Warrior, Sting, Ax, Smash, Crush, Hitman, Anvil, Undertaker, I don't even have to describe them to you. When you Google "Pro Wrestling" or at the very least "WWF" those are usually the first few pictures you get to see.

Before them, there were names like Crusher, Killer, Sheik and Baron. You didn't even have to see what they looked like to know they brought an immeasurable force to the ring.

As a tween, I remember names like Stone Cold (see left), Rock, Kane, Raven, Gangrel, Spike, Crash and Rhino. These were names that got you interested, made you care that there is a match scheduled for tonight.

A great wrestling name can do just about everything. It sells tickets, action figures, video games and looks mighty impressive on a poster. It's a boost to the morale of the wrestler, and it makes the fans proud to say "I Love wrestling" and tell their friends all about it.

>< I really wish more people knew all of this.

I watched NXT today, and I saw a boy on the ramp that just screamed "I AM A WRESTLER" to me. This boy looked like he was ready to bypass NXT completely, and just walk onto Wrestlemania.

Over 6 feet tall, ring vest made of spikes and dead beast, chains, proper wrestling gear, and dare I say the boy looks like he sees the gym no less than 5 times a week. Dude had an entrance that rivals The Undertaker. The crowd just sat in awe of the boy as he walked to the ring.

Slowly, the boy looks into the camera, gritting his teeth as if to say "I am here to cause fear and mayhem" as he draped his arms over the top rope. Boy looks like a total badass.

But just as he turns his head to the referee, I hear the announcer call out in a shrill tone...

"And the challenger, weighing in at 280 pounds.................................. CONOR O'BRIAN!!!!"

... Conor?

... Conor.

.................................... CONOR????

Conor is not a menacing, wrestler name. And furthermore the boy doesn't even look like a Conor, who the hell picked such a dull name for him???

But Conor isn't alone. Walk down any K-Mart aisle and you are bound to find a few new friends for Conor. Names like Evan, Justin, Heath, Wade, Dolph and Darren.

Who keeps allowing these unmarketable names to be used??

Last time I walked past a toy aisle, I caught a couple of boys making fun of the WWE figures, specifically because of these names. The boys couldn't accept the names as being "cool" so clearly you can't tell me this is for the kids.

It's like a bucket of cold water to the veins of every wrestling fan.

Just think about it. Would a team like Demolition have worked, if Ax and Smash were introduced as "Brad" and "Cameron"?? I doubt very highly Hasbro would have been able to sell more than five figures with names like that.

Or here's a good one. "And now approaching the ring, weighing in at 295 lbs. The Bionic Redneck ~ CAMRY WEBBER!!!!" See it just doesn't work so well!

If any of you reading this right now is either a wrestler allowed to create his own persona, or a booker/writer for a wrestling company, I beg of you PLEASE ~ stop picking these lifeless, PTA soccer parent names.

I beg you, think of the action figures.

No comments:

Post a Comment