Saturday, February 23, 2013

Your song lacks exp.

I became enamored with RPG video games when I was about 9 or 10. My first role playing game was Final Fantasy 3 (also known as 4 or 6) for the SNES, and while I wasn't happy about the ending, how long it took me to find every single item in the game (5 years) or the add-on characters, (I hate Celes) it is gorgeous. My next one was Final Fantasy 2 (waaaay better ending & story development) and from then on I tried a few more, before finding the Pokemon series.

Not shockingly, there is a Sailormoon one out there somewhere, and I've always wanted to try it. Sailormoon Another Story for the Super Famicon/SNES. The Retron 3 is compatible with Japanese and English SNES titles, I really should find a copy. ♥

A constant theme in just about all RPG's is the notion that you really can't survive the game's biggest challenges without gaining a ton of experience, known as exp. points. Now most of these points are earned through battling smaller enemies, but on rare occasion  you'll find a game that let's you cheat a bit. granted, cheating methods sometimes mean that some of your characters stats may not go up as much as if they had done things the usual way, but no matter how you gain exp. you need as much as possible in order to level up high enough to defeat the game's bosses.

This is such a lovely allegory for life itself! Simply replace bosses with life challenges, and it's the same thing. I didn't believe it at all when I was younger, but I see now that you do need to have a few life experiences before you can take down life's struggles, or even to be taken seriously. If you don't level up, you don't win.

I wish today's younger musicians would be told this. >< Starting with the pop and country acts.

My mom had the radio on, and we heard a Taylor Swift wannabe. For the life of me, I can't figure out who this is, just imagine Cartman trying to imitate Taylor Swift while using his "But Mom" voice in the Chinpokomon episode of South Park. "Beht meeeaaaaammmmmm I want to buy a Chinpokomon!!"

The lyrics were being screamed at decibels only squirrels can hear, but I can remember a handful of lyrics, typed out verbatim:

"The mauuuull doesn't ewpen till 10 end ahm really really PISSED auffff"

"Nobidy understiiiiinds meeee"

"I HATE yuuuu fer-everevreververver EVER!"

Now this is nothing new. Songs have been sounding terrible since Avril Lavinge showed up, and I can't recall a decade where more than the metal songs had any substance to them. But I do miss when songs actually sounded like music, (1989-2002 and again between 1932-1958) at least if a song lacked substance, it made up for that with a good sound. Sure the bubblegum pop acts of the late 1990's lacked substance and rarely sang about the darker side of life, but that made good sounds.

These are not good sounds I'm hearing. Aside from dubstep and rap songs about drinking, I keep hitting songs from very angry little girls, who never evolved past puberty.

And that's when it hit me. The new music lacks substance.

Many of today's musical starlets (my mom calls them "Twat Waffles") look up to Taylor Swift, who has changed boyfriends faster than most of us change clothes, and many of her hits are about them. One of the few non-break-up songs she has is Speak Now which is a song in first person perspective about a woman (her) interrupting a wedding to steal the groom ~ who is her ex-boyfriend ~ who she dumped ~ so she could  come back later and ruin the marriage of. Wow, that may be one of the most horrible songs she's ever written. South Park has a word for that type of person.

But most of her songs also lack substance. Don't get me wrong, they do come from real life experiences, but these songs lack the depth needed to be heard as soulful.

Take for example Cab Calloway's St. James Infirmary:

Now this heartbreaking song was used in the Betty Boop cartoon Snow White, but the full song is about a young man, who is repeatedly cheated on by the love of his life, who is a hooker, and how he finds her dying on a table at St. James Infirmary from cocaine addiction. In fact, while the Hayes commission frowned on the usage of his songs on film, he actually did have many songs warning people about excessive alcohol use and drug addiction. (Go ahead and watch the cartoon, Betty survives.)

Then in 1932, there was a folk song, later used in MGM's Gold diggers of 33:

This is a song that is still relevant today, about a woman feeling sorrow for her man, who has returned from war completely shell-shocked, and to no job, no home, no money, nothing.

But for a happy note, this is a good one that surprised me:

Listen to this song! You can hear the passion this woman has for her husband. I never hear husband/wife songs these days, except from Robin Thicke:

Both songs, after they came out, the singers conceived children. True story. Now those are DEEP love songs.

But today's youth aren't listening to deeply powerful songs, or even songs about actual life.

You may in real life go through 100 boyfriends a day, but an actual life means being with someone through the rough times and the better days, and not just ditching him because he isn't a fan of your favorite drama. An actual life means going through real problems. Hell, I could probably write a song myself:

♫ A flood ripped through half my stuff
♪ And it bore straight through my heaaaaart
♫ When the city came and told me
♪ My house is gonna be a new Wal ~ maaaarrt

As funny as it sounds, it's true too. And being that this is a stronger experience than "I'm pissed the mall's not open yet" it's fair to say I've leveled up a tad bit more than the current starlets.

It's time these whiny, Hipster Twat Waffles put down the guitar, stop crying, and pay attention to where their lives actually are. I'll let Hopsin close this out.

No comments:

Post a Comment