Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Money is NO excuse for Fugly Titles

Fugly = A word combining the adjective "Ugly" with the "F-Bomb".

My internet is completely fried at this point, so I'm hoping you can see Chibi Claudio Antonio Cesaro on the side. At least, I'm pretty sure that's where I left him.

When I was little, companies that had wrestling titles took pride in how they looked.

The NWA belt for example is made from 10 pounds of leather and gold, and the adorning pieces have always been shined so well, you can see it sparkle from a distance. One touch of this belt, and you can just about see every champion that has ever laid claim to the Heavyweight Championship, and you can see the pride that this company had in it's development.

The WWF used to have this pride as well. Take the "Eagle" belt for example, a perfect harmony of blue and gold, seated with dedication on a leather strap. They used to have matching belts alongside this illustrious title for the Tag and Light Heavyweight divisions, and each belt screamed to the crowd "This is a CHAMPION".

Then there was the Intercontinental Title, which alternated from white, black and powder blue straps, but always had a face-plate that said "The holder of this title is important to the history of wrestling".

On occasion for Fan Axxess, the WWE brings out the Fabulous Moolah's titles.
Look at these belts! On the one side, we have a belt with the champion's face, surrounded by precious gems, and on the other side, we have a demure belt that matches the Eagle belt. 

Growing up, I saw wrestling companies take pride in their champions and in the belts they handed them...

.... Then something went wrong.

Maybe I had warning, when the WCW was parading around the solid gold gaudy belt that is now the SmackDown title. 

Maybe I should have known something was going to turn for the worse, when WWF took to the stock market as WWFE (World Wrestling Federation Entertainment/Family Entertainment) and all the know-nothing "Yes Men" started getting into McMahon's ear, telling him things like "The XFL is forever!" and "Nuno, the Invasion Angle won't go stale" and "Corn Nuts is a HUGE seller, make them your sponsor for the next 3 PPVs!!"...

But at some point, the WWE stopped caring about it's belts, and I'm sorry to say that AIW's Tag Team Belts and TNA's Jeff Hardy and World belts are not very far behind.

You see, a title used to be used as a way to show the audience who your #1 guy was. It was also an easy way to start a feud. Two men get into the ring. One says "I want the pretty belt". The other says "You can't have the pretty belt because I have it." The two fight. The bell rings. Someone has the pretty belt. Crowd goes nuts. It tells a simple story of who the #1 guy is, and each belt has a great history behind it.

How good a belt looks shows how much a company cares about it's image. Pure and simple, if your belt looks ugly or like a kindergarten class made it, you look like a sham!

Now of course, everyone has had their gripe about the spinner belt. Alot of people were against it, as anything spinning was already out in the car and fashion world by the time the WWE's heavyweight title took it on, and to some it looked more like a toy and less like a championship. But it's purpose was to sell toys, and ultimately, most people accepted that.

Well after 8 years of fan complaints, here's WWE's solution:

EWWWWW!!!! What the hell is this??

This doesn't scream "champion" to me at all. This looks like those gaudy rings Sears sells to old ladies on Mother's Day every year. In fact, my grandmothers each have rings that match this wreck!

But no sooner were wrestlers and their fans joining together to group barf at the extreme fugly that is this title, did the kiss-ups rear their green heads. I bet you've read the comments already, but here's a few gems:

"Geez! You guys complained that you wanted a new title, and now that you have one you're whining? Smh!"

"DERP You should all shut up because DERP they make money and it's all about business!"

Both comments come from people who've never worked with or in wrestling a day in their lives. Go back to whatever Walgreen's you crawled out from, thanks.

Let me dispel those ill-conceived excuses.

1. Money is NEVER an excuse for fugly. hypothetically, the WWE could own enough to purchase the NFL, and it STILL won't be an excuse. 

The truth of the matter is that if you have a ton of money, you have NO excuse for fugly at all! 

With the money you have, you should be making a title worthy of the image you're trying to pander to us. 

If the only belt you produce is fugly, YOU look fugly. End of story. And no amount of money can change the public's view of you.

2. Fugly is never about business. If this was about business at all, that belt would look like the most fancy thing you've ever seen in your life. You'd sell your soul just for a replica of it. If the belt is this disgusting looking, then business is nowhere to be found in this story, and you will LOSE business the more ugly you produce.

3. This belt has nothing to do with money, outside of how much was wasted on it. See #2.

4. Yes the fans are complaining. They and the wrestlers made it very clear that they wanted a better looking title, not some random piece of fugly that happens to be new. There's a difference between new and better. In the 80's, people saw for example that Coke 2 was new... but Coca-Cola was better. Google it.

Only a weakling accepts fugly, just because a corporation has more money than you. 

Just because a corporation has money right now does NOT EVER make them "right" when it comes to fugly. Corporations that produce fugly tend to lose money and ratings, hence this company not being able to rise above a 3 for their main show. 

And don't pretend that wrestling being "dead" is the reason why, people still care about the sport, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this at all. People do care about wrestling, that's why they're disgusted with the fugly belt.

Never be cheap. Never settle for fugly.

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