Sunday, February 10, 2013

Duke and Duchess Nukem

Went to the mall today with the intent of relaxing and having a good time. Made the sorry mistake of actually looking at the price-tags for a few Doctor Who items I wanted, which blew my plan to purchase something small for my mom's birthday. So I wound up having some Taco Bell, and then as usual, I had to use the restroom.

Now the mall recently decided that their restroom signs are getting too fat, so they went ahead and put them on a diet. Then they moved the signs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay above my line of vision and shrunk the font, so for the life of me, I have no idea where the hell I actually was.

Now to be clear, I don't wear sunglasses to "look cool" or to act like I'm "too cool for you" I wear them because I am a migraine sufferer. Right before a bad one, I get really sensitive to light, so if I wear sunglasses, the aura is reduced, and most of the time I can avoid a really nasty headache. The downside though is that in certain lights, I may not be able to see some details... such as the little stick person showing which room is for what gender, or the size 2 Arial font that was on these signs, again, hung waaaay above my line of vision. So imagine my shock when I see this person:
Standing before me is a creature that could make Duke Nukem humble. 6'2, steroidal, tattoos, Tapout shirt, clearly I have made a terrible mistake. I am in the wrong room.

So I head into the second room, surely that's the women's bathroom, right?

Once more, I am greeted by Duke Nukem. Or is it Duchess?

Both rooms look identical. Same paint, same sinks, each had someone peeing standing up. I'm all for gender equality, but seriously??

I know I live in the Midwest, but do we have to drive it home this way?

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