Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Celebrity DEWD ~ Did you just sleep with that??

This AIN'T about cheating!!

I hope I don't come across as being a catty bitch, I'm just asking a question here.

And NO I'm not going to be all about "oh whyeeeee do men cheat" or "men are stoopid" because I'm not a fan of misandry, and there's already a million articles written by Christian Lesbians who already rag on men for this, so ENOUGH!! This is about a man's choice in a woman. (See cartoon.)

Tiger Woods, Hulk Hogan and now, John Cena.

All three have been touted in the media as being cheating husbands, but for Hogan and Cena, I don't think that's fair at all.

At the time Hogan filmed his video ~ which I have not seen and do not intend on seeing ever ~ because I still have his action figure and ergo that would make it WEIRD to hold it again ~ Hogan was separated from Linda. They were about to get divorced, so I see no harm in him dating or sleeping with someone else. The only crime is that this was Bubba The Love Sponge's sloppy seconds, but I'll get back to that in a bit. Aside from this, I don't feel he cheated at all, when the relationship was already OVER.

John Cena I don't know if I should count or not, since his relationship was always troubled, and he really wasn't ready for life long commitment at the time he got married. I've seen this happen in my own family, and the drama that surrounded Cena's nuptials was well known, so I really don't want to count what he did as being news worthy.

Tiger Woods is still the world's greatest golf player, and the only person to ever make me care about golf, but he is pretty damn stupid. C'mon dude, you had a MODEL with a twin sister. You were the envy of every other golf player in existence. REALLY?? We mixed-race folks are trying to get ahead in life, and you went ahead and played the cheating-father-who-ditches-his-kids-in-the-divorce stereotype?? REALLY??? Does you not see how far back in time this sets the rest of us? DOOOOD!!

But my opinion aside, I just have one thing to ask celebrity men who date or cheat....

DEWD!! Did you just sleep with a female version of Shawn Michaels???

I mean no disrespect to the WWE Hall of Famer, as I have a ton of people in my life that will vouch for him. But seriously, have you SEEN these celebrity mistresses??

The Bella Twins, Mrs. Love Sponge, Kendra Lust, the 15+ creatures Tiger Woods had. Google them! They all look like Shawn Michaels but with different hair.

Skinny, pointy nose, thin neck full of veins and tendons, bony arms and Justin Bieber's body. I've brought this up before on my blog about Making Over Society, but I feel the need to share a photo again:
DEWD seriously! Why would you do THAT?? It's like a 12 year old Shawn Michaels, only these women have control freak issues, destroy men's personal possessions, hate-tweet about them behind their backs, starve him and then bully him constantly. WTF do you see in someone like that?? It's the Karen Angle-Jarrett effect going on. Fugly bitch who treats the man like garbage. WHY?? What is the point?

Most of them don't even have lips, C'MON!! That's like trying to get a mouth hug from Sigourney Weaver after she's already decided to tattoo you with a chainsaw dipped in poison. DOOD really!?!?

I'm being serious here. If you are in a bad relationship ~ and you are a celebrity ~ break up RIGHT NOW before the psycho has a chance to clean you out. That way, you can't be caught cheating, meaning that she has less of a chance to rob you in court of everything but the toilet seat.

And then, once you start asking other women out, treat yourself nicely. TRADE UP!! Pick somebody cute, like a Smooth Magazine model or something.

Think about it. Tiger Woods, Cena and Hogan are all famous enough they could get someone as cute as Salma Hayek, Halle Berry, or Amber Rose. Just because you're famous doesn't mean you can't have CUTE for goodness sakes.

Don't settle for the first pair of fake eyelashes to look your way. Have some respect for your body! Aim for cute and polite. Never settle for less.

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