Sunday, January 27, 2013

Wal*Mart does NOT sell ring gear!!

Since my last wrestling-themed blog, I have had a cup of coffee. And that is a good thing, for without it, I am Donkey Kong, and not exactly open-minded enough to accept the amount of stupidity I usually face in my daily life.

I only allow myself one cup a day, as anything more and I put myself at risk for rapid heartbeat or a rebound migraine, and I can't really afford a trip to the emergency room, just because I can't handle what I saw on TV. So for right now, one cup is plenty.

Today, the caffeine hit in time for me to see Dragon Gate USA's PAC on NXT. Yes yes, I know his new name is Adrian Neville, but you should know by now that when it comes to ROH or DGUSA alumni, I am sticking to their former "Indy" names, instead of using their suburban, unmarketable titles.

So anyway, I saw PAC get in the ring with Taka Michinoku's student Sakamoto, and have one of the best matches WWE has ever had in their entire existence. My brother had on the week-before-last's NXT, and the crowd went ape-shit over this match. Every match after that got a "THIS IS BORING" clap-chant, so it is safe to say that PAC stole the show.

My brother then put on the next episode, and I saw something truly frightening.

Heath Slater is still employed.

No no. Not that.

Drew McIntyre is ripping off of Truth Martini but is wearing John Morrison's hand-me-downs.

No no, even worse.

Shawn Michaels dressed like a cowboy's derpy dad.

Nope, even worse.

I see a trio of guys come out for a match against Yoshitatsu and Percy (I forgot you work here) Watson. Now Yoshi and Percy come out in regular wrestling gear. The gear fits just fine, and when I look at them, I can believe they are true, professional wrestlers.

Brodie Lee comes out in his typical wife-beater and jeans. He has ring-appropriate boots on underneath, and has in the past worn knee pads under the loose jeans. It goes with his persona, so I don't mind.

... Then there's the other two.

Bray "My Dad is Irwin R Shyster and my baby brother is Bo Dallas" Wyatt is dressed like the rural parts of the 1980's threw up on him. Hawaiian shirt, straw hat, there is zero indication that this man is a fully trained wrestler.

Then there's the other boy. I'm going to guess his name is Eric. I have no actual clue, as the Full Sail university student in charge of screen-wipes didn't bother to put the boy's name up. All I know is that he is very tall, and has a Highlander's-long-red beard...... and is dressed in a green track suit.

..... What the hell??

TNA has this problem too. Recently at a PAY PER VIEW, you know, one of those $40-50 programs, they had a Knockouts gauntlet match. Of the 8 or so women who jumped in the ring, only three looked like they were ready for the night.

Tara dressed as a wrestler, as she takes her job seriously.

ODB dressed like her persona (hillbillie) but with ring ready boots on. She too takes this seriously.

Velvet wore a.... well I'm not actually sure if I can say what it was, but it looked like something from a comic book, and since this kinda goes along with her persona, I'm going to count it.

The rest of them??

Wal*Mart gear.

Mickie, Teschmacher (I know I misspelled that) and the rest wore the cheapest threads from Wal*Mart. But Gail Kim was who shocked me the most. Her clothes come courtesy of the "Smart and Sexy" line at the retail chain. I should know, I've been past the display enough times to know what they sell. It's bad enough to see a rookie dressing like that, but COME ON!! You are a veteran now, this is not appropriate!!
(Never you mind how I know where she got the top from.)

I never thought I would say this about ring veterans, but enough is enough. Unless your gimmick is that you're a thug or a redneck, for the love of God please, purchase REAL ring gear. ← That link there is for Highspots. They have affordable gear. Start there. There's also Kongo Kustoms, which also works with the wrestler on many aspects. They too are affordable.

Remember, the younger wrestlers are watching YOU. If you don't start dressing as though you give a shit what people think of you, they won't either.

And once again, here is my lovely guide for young wrestlers:

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